Faith

Let me give you the definition of "faith"..."Strong belief; trust; confidence. " All of us who have ever entered a church have heard one sermon or another about just have "faith"...if we just hold onto our "faith"....it (whatever) will come about if our "faith" is strong enough. It is not only in church...I know you have been told this if you have shared any kind of adversity with most any christian. Have you ever been out of a job..."give it to the Lord, have faith, He will bring you a job". What about if you or someone close to you has been ill..."claim it, have faith and God will heal him/her". Maybe you are single and desire a mate.."tell him you want and mate, stand on faith and He will bring you one".

If this has never happened to you then maybe this post is not for you but it is something that has laid on my heart a long time...it has happened to me and plenty, and I think God has given me some direction to share. I believe in the above statements but the problem I have and see is that there is one detail left out.

I think we have been innocently led to believe in the happening of things, of our prayers being answered, instead of in the power of God to have his will come about. Let's take any of the fore mentioned trial and adversities for example. Does having "faith" mean that we ask the Lord to bring another job, healing, a mate for life, ect.. and then expect that He will. Not entirely...as a christian, we are suppose to believe in the power of God to do anything, we can bring that petition to Him, but there is more. This is were the "faith" comes in....we are suppose to pray like the example in John 26:39, "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'

Jesus has given us the perfect example of the way our "faith" should have us believe. We are not "strong in our faith" if we offer our petitions and then expect that what we have asked for is going to be given. The real test of faith is being able to, yes, have a strong belief that all is possible through Christ. But we have to also believe with all our hearts, minds and souls that His plan for us, His knowledge of what is best for us, His perfect will is the most important aspect of us being His creation, of us belonging to Him, and of us trusting that our vision is so finite we have to rest completely in His will. Every thing we are, every minute of our lives, every person we meet, every job we have, everything in this life plays into the perfect plan of God. Our lives play either directly, or indirectly depending on how we respond to God as our maker, but it is not ours...this life is not about what we want or think we need...it is about fullfilling God's perfect plan. And God is the only one who really knows what that plan is, which way the path goes, and He is the only one who really, fully understands it all. Each new day is a gift to us...a new day for us because of His will, another day for us to attempt to walk in His plan, to play out a part of His will for us.

Another point is, that if we do not understand that we can and are suppose to bring our petitions to the feet of our Lord, but don't understand that we should want and continue to rest in His will that we are setting ourselves up as a playground for Satan. If we believe in asking and receiving based on "how much faith we have" in the requesting part, bringing and asking for our request, then what happens when what we ask for doesn't coinicide with God's will and that request is delayed or even denied. I know of people that this has happened to. They have questioned their worthiness to God, they have condemned themselves for not being "soldiers of faith", and in some instances have turned away from God altogether. Again, it is right and just to bring our petitions, our requests, our wants, our desires to him....God's word instructs us to do this, but with those last words of John 26:39..."...Yet not as I will, but as you will."

Then what about the scriptures that speak to us about feverent prayers, commited prayers, ect..Well, I think that we do not fully understand God's will, but I know that God does bestowe mercy and blessings on us. I know that as we mature, as more of us is poured out to Him, as we release ourselves for Him and to Him that those actions are blessed by Him. I believe that "his will" is not alway the simple answer of our prayers being answered or not answered but more the hearts, commitment and depth of the relationship with God behind the request, petition or desire. After all He is God and anything is possible for his mighty hands....as our loving Father, though, the answer will play a part in his plan, whether a natural part of His perfect will, because of mercy on his part or because His desire is to bestowe upon us a blessing. I do know that why, for me, right now is not important. For me, I am working on my "faith" being strong and righteous, on being able to ask ALL things in His name, to fall on my face and make my wants, desires, wishes be known but to never forget to loudly profess "Yet not as I will, but as you will"! Please, O loving Father, help me to be a woman of faith, for I want "your will to be done".

"This, then, is how you should pray: "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thine will be done on earth as it is in heaven...."
Matthew 6:9a

Being in our lane

The Lord has been speaking to me about something I think He has been bringing to my attention. I pray that the words will come and that it will make some sense to ya'll.

It has come to my attention that there are alot of christians out there that are very burdened. Hang in here with me....just because we are christians we are still going to have burdens...lows, problems, discomfort, disappointments, etc. But what my heart has been sensitive to is alot of people think that there is some kind of finish line that they are suppose to have crossed because they have made that step to bring Christ into their hearts. Becoming a christian, being one for one year, ten years or fifty years means we are still on the journey...the finish line is not in this world, it is after we are gone from here and meet our Father in heaven. This world is the running of the event and not until we reach the arms of our beloved are we done.

Let me explain a little further....I keep hearing people comparing themselves to others and not just acting but talking and apologizing for where they are in their christian walk. I have overheard many conversations lately where the words spoken were "You are such a good christian....wow, i'm still struggling with everything...I don't have a very good prayer time, I don't know how to listen for the Lord, I don't know many scriptures by heart, my faith is not as strong as yours, and everybody's gotten it except me!" Is this Satan attacking these christians to keep them from feeling and embracing God's love for them...is it our clergy's teaching from the pulpit that somehow they are giving the message that there is a finish line here on earth and some of us have crosssed over it.....is it that there are so many christians that can't feel God's love for them that they are constantly condeming themselves...or is it a lack of really understanding what "being a christian" means?

Being a christian means that you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, that you understand that Jesus died for our sin (past, present, future) and that you know that through faith you will have eternal life because of the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ. Does this say anything about being in a certain place in your life at a certain time? Does it say that knowing God as your Father, Christ as your Saviour and the Holy Spirit as your guide mean that we are all the same, like some christian Stepford Wives? No, being a christian means that we believe in the sacrifice, resurrection and gift of the Holy Trinity but here on earth, each and everyone of us has a different lane to run our race in. God gives us that lane, expects us to run the race with everything we have, but He is the coach and his methods are different for each one of us. Imagine it in these terms....you can't take the bobsled team from the Virigin Islands and expect their coaching and training to be the same as the bobsled team from the Swiss Alps. Because of where they are from, the age of the teammates, the phyical qualities of each and the expertise of the coach the workout will be somewhat different. One team is starting from scratch...they do not have cold temperatures little less ice and snow...the other team, their enviroment is cold and snow, is probably very well versed in snow sports which gives the coaches a different starting point and a different workout plan (watch the movie, it is great).

It is the same with us as people...everyone, even people within the same family, start out their marathon to heaven in different places. Our backgrounds, our upbringing, our bumps and bruises along the way, our life experiences they all play into how we run the race and where we are at any given moment in our lanes. The diffence in this race is that we are all equal in worthiness to our coach. We all have been invited to run the race and we all have the same coach, and that coach knows us deeply and intimately. He puts us in our lanes, decides on the workouts, and begins the drills. We do have a responsibility....we are to take up the invitation to the event, get in our lane, give the race our best, listen and follow what our coach asks of us.

So, to all of you out there who think that you are somehow behind the pack and that that means you can't finish the race, or that some have a better coach or workout than you, or that your best is somehow not good enough even though you are in your lane following and participating in your workouts and coaches instructions......run to the arms of our coach for a pep talk. You are where you are suppose to be, working with all your hearts, and you have the best coach in the universe and beyond working with you.

MY TOP 5 PET PEEVES

My friend Bomba tagged me so here goes...

1)Mothers who are in a public place and hollering at their children to "stop crying". If they don't stop crying what are the mothers going to do. Spank them so there is more crying? Continue to talk loud and threaten them some more so everyone knows who is in control?

2)People who see someone they know and then later they make the statement "You know _______________(the person they saw earlier) never spoke!" Well, you apparently didn't speak either. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? Who are you.. the Queen of Sheba? Why couldn't you be the one to wander over and make a friendly choice?

3)Speeding....to me it is one of the easiest rules to follow. Just get up in enough time to get where you are going on time. If you are running late, so keep to the speed limit and take the consequences of being late. After a few consequences you will start giving yourself plenty of time. And by the way, I have been driving since I was 15 and have never had an accident or ticket (especially for speeding).

4)This one is another traffic issue (do i need therapy?). It drives me crazy to be behind any vehicle, but mostly trucks, that are carrying something that hangs out the back and it doesn't have a red flag tied to it. How difficult is it to wrap something red around the end of a board that's hanging 10 feet out of the back of your truck. Don't you know that law is for the safety of the other drivers out there. All you contractors, if you will e-mail me, I will send you a torn strip of red fabric to tie on whatever item you will be hanging out of the back of your truck (hahaha, just kidding!)

5)Okay, here is the last one....It really bothers me to go out to dinner and sit next to a group where everyone is drinking fishbowl margaritas or huge pitchers of beer. Who in the heck is driving home? And they always have children with them and they sit the children at a separate table to annoy, misbehave, and ruin a nice evening for anyone sitting around them. So, you have a table full of loud, drinkers who have drunk enough to be over the legal limit and are going to drive home to put other innocent lives in jeopardy, and a table full of uncontrolled, unmonitored children who are ruining everyone else's evening out when they should be at home with a baby sitter watching cartoons. Sorry, this might have been two!

There it is...I tag Mercy Drops and Joy is Strength and anyone else that would like to weigh in.

Up, up and away

How many of you can relate to the image of a Father raising his son or daughter up on his shoulders to see over a crowd. I don't remember an exact event that this happened to me but i'm sure that is has. Watching the Thanksgiving Macy's Day parade for years, it is an image I have seen many times, a small child on the shoulders of his father, watching over the crowds in front of him, grinning from ear to ear as the festivities roll down the street.

This image came to mind this morning as I was searching scripture. My sister had asked me to make some placecards for a tea her church is having (making handmade cards is one of my hobbies). On the back of all the cards I make I print a scripture...and I came across the following:
I shall lift up the cup of salvation and call on the Lord by name.
Psalm 116:13
It seemed to be very appropriate to put on the back of my teapots.. it is simple and short and yet it has great depth.

What really stuck out to me was the part "lift up". I started thinking about how many times I have crossed those words in scripture. I looked it up in my concordance and found that there are at least 500 scriptures that deal with "lift up, lifting, lifted"...all meaning pretty much the same thing... to cause to enter upward, to bear, to carry, to draw up.

And the scriptures tell us what we are to "lift up" or enter upward... our eyes,our hands, our voices, our heads, our hearts, our minds, our spirits. He commands us to "lift up" to Him our cares and concerns, our love, our devotion, our thanksgiving. And God did alot up "lifting up"..he lifted up winds, waves, rain, cedar trees, living creature, rod and staffs, spears, the ark and nations, angels and the dead.

Do you notice a pattern here? Everything...everything that has been touched by His mighty hand, all of creation, everything we are, possess and desire is to be "lifted up", given back to our Father in heaven. And because he is our loving Father, the same as that father who lifted up his child to see over the crowd, he will "lifted up" our burdens, cares, desires, hopes....He will carry them, He will bear them. As He 'lifts up" our concerns and desires, He "lifts up" us...He draws up near to Him, protecting us, comforting us, teaching us and leading us.

And one last thing that is the most important...the next time you read the words "lift up" let your mind picture a father lifting up his son....the most important Father, the Father Almighty, lifting his son, Jesus Christ, up to and upon the cross. Do not stop the imagery there, envision the son, Christ, lifting up his arms, overflowing with the sins of all.... past, present and future...lifting them up to heaven for gving us the gift of salvation, mercy, and peace.

Jesus said,"This voice was for our benefit, not mine. Now is the time for judgment on this world, now the prince of this world will be driven out. But I, when lifted up from earth, will draw all men to myself."
John 12:30-32

Tree loaded with fruit

My sister was taking a bible study and they were studying the "fruit of the holy spirit". What they were studying can be found in Galatians 5:16-26. We had a discussion, a lengthy one at that, on whether or not the gifts of kindness and goodness go together. Her leader was discussing that to have one you had to have the other. My first thought was that I have known people who, to me, had been kind but were not what we would call "good". We both had also known what we would refer to as "good" people who did not seem to be very kind.

After some reading and praying the best opinion I can come up with is that they do not necessarily go hand in hand. Each one is a separate gift, thought they do seem to entwine, all coming from being children of Christ and through the work of the Holy Spirit. We can have one of these gifts alive and bearing pretty good fruit but may be having dificultity producing fruit from another of the gifts. The will of the Holy Spirit is for these gifts to be manifested and through our invitation to a life with Christ, we have been set free from sin's power. This does not mean that we won't sin anymore but that we have the power in Christ Jesus to fight that sin. But for any of these spiritual fruits to be active in our lives we must daily commit ourselves to laying aside any sin that is the opposite of the gifts of the Spirit. We must daily comit ourselves to the leading of the Spirit and the growth, blossoming and maturing of these fruits.

I would love to hear some other thoughts on this as it is a very thought provoking subject and I wish to have alot more fruit of the Spirit on the tree of my life. Give some feedback on what these scriptures mean to you....and let us pray for each other that the Holy Spirit will be working to produce a tree that is hanging over with fruit, fruit that lasts into eternity.

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25

Deep roots

I love gardenia bushes. In our yard area we have planted lots of them. Several times last year we have had to dig up one or two that looked sickly and move them. It wasn't a hard job....the plants were small and the root system not very deep or strong.

Last Wednesday when talking about the Georgia Bulldawgs (there Ton-Ton, that is for you) I made reference to the fans deep rooted love for their team. If the life source of a plant or tree is it's roots, our phsyical life source is our hearts. God's words commands us to love Him with ALL our heart. The way to grow strong, deep roots in plants, as we all know, is to provide the plant with good soil, water, fertilizer, sunshine and tender loving care. The way to grow deep roots in our spiritual life.. to love Christ totally, wholeheartedly, and completely... is to read our bibles faithfully, to go to church to be taught and instructed, to fellowship with other christians to support and build each other up and to have time alone with Christ to pray and listen for his voice.

There are so many things in this life that can be considered "good things"...bible studies, church activities, fun weekends with friends, organized sports, internet(!), music, television... and the list goes on. I read an article once about a man who had a God given ability in the music field. He practiced every day without fault for a minimum of 5 hours. When he wasn't practicing he was in some of the most famous concert halls playing flawlessly. There was only one problem...he was so busy with a "good thing" here on earth that ETERNITY was completely overlooked. He was not a christian. He had never had time for Christ, to honor the one who gave him the gift of music, to build deep roots in his heart with his Saviour for his life in the after.

Even as christians we forget to aggressively nuture our roots. Oh, yes, we pray, read scripture, attend church. But, if you are a gardner you know that a little sunshine, a few sprinkles of rain, and a handful of time release pebbles is not enough. We cannot be satisfied with "good" in our lives. We need to look at our relationship with the Lord past and present, and push past "good". We need to look at our home life, our work life, our life styles and demand not just "good"...not even "better"...we need to accept nothing but "BEST" from ourselves. We are talking about deep roots with our Lord that wll sustain us in times of trouble..in sad times..hard times..times of uncertainty. In the spring, as I stroll through the garden department looking for my time release pebbles I have been known to pass by the Wal-Mart brand...I want the best for my favorite bushes..my gardenias. I head straight to the Miracle Grow...only the best for my plants. I want that for my Lord and Saviour also...not "good"...not "better" but the "best" for the roots that I am growing in Christ Jesus. I want my heart, I want my all, to be strong and healthy...
I want to be deep rooted in Christ Jesus.

Blessed is the man who trustsin the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree plalnted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. I thas no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8

Outside appearances

Around here the color red and the breed of dogs called bulldogs are very popular. We live about 1.5 hours from the University of Georgia whose colors are red and black and mascot is an English Bulldog. Pretty much year round you can find red shirts sporting a bulldog picture but during the fall ALL you see is red and bulldog everything. Red flags with bulldogs, red slippers with bulldogs, red shirts with bulldogs....from toilet covers (yes, I did say that) to door mats. The bulldog fans are RED hot. And it is not only about the merchandise. The fans talk about the games all week long. The newspapers are filled with articles on the bulldogs. And don't try to plan anything with a loyal bulldgog fan on a game weekend unless it is going to the game because they won't even think of doing or being anywhere except at the game or watching it in from in front of the television. All this loyality, enthusiasum, and team spirit is displayed for all to see. The hats, the shirts, the jewerly, the flags waving from front porches....all points to a deep-rooted love for their beloved bulldogs.

As christians how much of a RED hot fan of Christ are we? Well, I am sure that the answer is very hot but does the outward actions and outside appearance show to others that you feel the same team spirit as the Georgia Bulldog fans? Do we wear the clothes of joy like the bulldog fans wear their red shirts (smiling while we wait forever in the check-out line)?! Do we offer to others Christ's patience and kindness the same way Georgia fans are quick to give the scores of their last win (assuring the waitress that took forever to bring you more tea that you understand how busy she is)?! Are we as quick to offer forgiveness for a mistake as quickly as our fans forgive the one time the team losses?!

Let me tell you about a very small incident that happened over the Christmas holidays. The Thursday before Christmas I was in Macy's. They had just been putting up signs all over the place.."take an additional 50% off". People were all over these racks and since I was by myself I was not distracted and could hear alot of the conversations going on around me. There was talk that the price scanners were not working right...that the clerks were over charging for the items...that the store should be made to give them these items at the cost they thought they should be receiving. The masses were not very happy (joy)..the talk was certainly not very kind..and certainly not very forgiving to the poor clerks who just wanted the christmas shopping to be over.

I picked up a couple of items, took them to the register, and waited patiently for the clerk to get to me. She was a small woman, very pleasant looking and seemed to be in her early thirties. As I approached the counter I quietly told her that by the racks around the corner there seemed to be alot of confusion. I told her that I was not in a hurry and all I wanted was for her to scan my items and tell me if they were indeed the fantastic price I thought they were. I also told her that she would have no argument from me whatever the prices were. She looked up at me, gave me a faint smile and her eyes whelled up with tears. She said that people had been so impatient, grumpy, and nasty to her that she was physically sick to her stomach. She felt like she was going to throw up at any minute...couldn't stand the pressure...didn't understand why people were so nasty with her. I made a feeble attempt at defending those stressed out, impatient, rude women but more focused on letting her know that she could look busy with me and take as long as she liked. I was not in a hurry. By this time the tears were streaming down her face. I know this sounds stupid but I reached in my purse and dug out a special chocolate candy that I had hidden away (never know when a girl is going to need a piece of chocolate). I offered her the chocolate the whole time explaining how my big sister buys them for us in California and sends them to us for every occasion...how everytime I look in my purse and see one of the candies I think of big sis and it makes me feel close to her (all this talk just to lighten the mood). She unwrapped her candy, popped it into her mouth, smiled and said it was the best candy she had ever had. She also told me she felt honored that she was able to partake of one of the special chocolates. The tears went away and a smile came upon her face. She scanned my clothes and yes, I had some great buys. I purchased the items..the whole time this transformed woman remarking to me how she had never been treated so kindly. She finally asked me how is was that I was so patient and cheerful. This was a good time to share with her that I had a God I loved very, very much and it was through his grace that at this hectic time of year I could be patient, kind, joyful. She said she believed in God and would try to rely on him and call on him more often. As I took my bag, I told her that I would pray for her that day and she promised she would try that herself.

And that what I want for my life. I want what others see in me to stir up awe and wonder..I want my strength on the outside to be explained by what goes on in private, on the inside between God and me. I want people to know I am red hot for Christ. I don't want to miss a chances to spread his love to others. I want the people around me to know that no matter how hard the game, no matter how good the opponent that the winning score will alway be for Jesus. I want my shirt to be the colors of redemption and grace...my flag to fly high with forgiveness...my mascot to be love and kindness.

This is what Hezekiah did throughtout Judah, doing what was good and right and faithful before the Lord his God. In everything that he undertook in the service of God's temple and in the obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And he prospered. 1 Chronicles 31:20-21

A Special Gift

This year has been a year full of changes for me in many, many areas of my life. Most of the changes have been in areas that haven't seen a lot of change in, at the minimum, a decade or more. One of those changes happened in our church. Our pastor, who had been with us for fourteen years, was sent this year to a church in a small southern town about 1.5 hours away. Don't think for a minute I was better than Job...That I was above raising my hands up to the heavens and crying out to know why this too! Oh, no, not this southern belle. We loved this pastor...we were comfortable with him....we liked the way he led the flock...and we had a history with him. This was the shepherd that buried both my in-laws. This was the pastor that gave both my children their first Holy Communion, that gave them their first priestly confessions, that presided over their Holy Confirmation as young adults. He was our pastor, minister, priest, friend and spiritual Father through many important events and years of our lives. But, by now the realization that change does eventually come has become a reality.....yet, I still find myself battling to accept ALLL these changes. And where does that leave us with our new pastor?! Just keep reading....

Our new pastor is Father Tim Donahue ( thank you Lord that he doesn't resemble Phil Donahue). I have enjoy, even been inspired by his teachings, but yet find myself being a little too critical...watching every move he makes a little too closely...fighting the negative thoughts of already knowing that he can't hold a candle to our previous pastor (who has a reputation for being the cream of the crop). All this going on and Christmas Eve Midnight mass approaching quickly. Midnight Mass, for us, is and has been for years a true spiritual highlight of the year. This special mass, in our very old and historic church always moves me and bring forth lots of emotion. Well, I just knew this year was going to be very different ( and I don't mean to lead you into positive thoughts, mine weren't). Battling a very heavy war with negativity we donned our smiley faces, dressed to the nines (very formal), prayed and head for church. We arrived early to get our usual pew (4 rows from the front, to the right of center isle, on the priests side). Actually, every year the schedule is the same....be at the church by 10:15-10:30..pray until the Festival of Carols at 11:15 (or I least I prayed..seemed my family was a little restless)...then mass starts promptly at midnight and runs to around 2:00 a.m....then we have a 40-45 minute drive home.

I had a lot of time to pray and ask God for something special, pouring out all my cares and concerns (oh, gosh tears and my make-up has to last hours still), just wanting something to lift our spirits. I noticed that there was a new entry in the bulletin...near the end of the mass it read "Pastor's Gift". I shared it with my family and everyone weighted in on what that could possibly mean. Everyone knows priests don't have any money so how could he give us a gift? Maybe we didn't understand the way it was written and he was going to thank us, the congregation, for the gifts we gave him....okay, that had to be it.

Let me cut right to it....we didn't make one right guess. Oh, and by the way, Mass was beautiful and moving and God's presence was real and evident and deep ...it really was wonderful but God had one more blessing in store for us. My friend, Jan, wrote about rest over the weekend and I agree 100% with her. During Christmas (and a lot during the rest of the year) we have trouble finding time to rest....which in turn makes PEACE almost impossible. Yes, most of us are pretty unpeaceful during the holiday season...too busy, plaqued by money worries, stressed out about all the details and responsiblity of the season. And that night at church I was no different...trying to pray but my mind wandering down the list of presents still needing to have tags put on them...trying to focus on the Lord and instead finding my mind calculating how many hours the spiral ham and turkey needed to be cooked....wanting to feel my Saviour's presence but instead feeling panic because I remembered that I had neglected to pick up that last gift for a special friend. I pushed on doing my best to lay down in my spirit and feel peaceful as I prayed, then as we listened to and participated in the carols and then during the mass.

Finally, we were to the point in the bulletin where we had seen "Pastor's Gift"....up to the microphone came Fr. Donahue. He explained to us that he loved us all very much and had wanted to give each of us a christmas gift. Being a biggggg church and him being a man of little means it seemed impossible. So he had really prayed hard...he wanted to give us something. He told us that God had spoken to him and told him that he was able to give us a gift.....God told him to reach out and give us, in the name of Jesus, the gift of PEACE. Fr. Donahue stood humbly before us, sang in acappella a beautiful song to us. Then, after humbling himself before us in song, prayed for the peace of God to engulf us and be poured out over us. Quietly, as the lights in the church were distinguish, Fr. Donahue, by candlelight, made his way to his seat and we all sat in silence for several minutes to accept the gift of peace that was, at that moment, being poured out over us. You could physically feel the power of God's peace being poured out upon you. It was just as if Christ himself had a pitcher filled with peace and was pouring it out upon our heads. You could feel the peace running over our entire body and as it did every part of me started to relax...yielding itself in an incredible way. All the worries, all the combativeness, all the stress, all the negativity, all the discord disappeared. It was all replace with feelings of peace, calmness, tranquility, and serenity. What an beautiful act of giving...what an awesome gift!!! What a pastor!!! And what an incredible, loving, caring, giving Father in heaven...to one who needed it...a faithful caring servant and an all-knowing, deep-caring Saviour. Another Christmas miracle..? You bet!!!

The peace of God, which transscends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:7

He was pierced for our trangessions, he was crushed for our inqui ties; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we were healed. Isaiah 53:5

Eyes to see hope..

Going back over Christmas I realize what a visual event Christmas is to me. At the onset of November, when the days are short and darkness engulfs us in the early evening, the desire to put up our Christmas tree starts to play in my mind. I spend most of the first weeks of November visualizing the tree that will sit in my living room, covered in tiny white lights that twinkle as their light bounces off the treeand illuminates the room. Only because peer pressure makes me, I hold out for the weekend of Thanksgiving to put out of my mind and into my living room the tree of lights that has been twinkling in my mind for weeks. And as my eyes gaze upon the lit tree, it is always as magnificent as it was in my mind.

The lights are not only beautiful to my eyes, as I gaze upon them, but they take hold of my thoughts and attention. I spend the evenings with only the light from the fire burning in the fireplace and the twinkling of the lights on the tree. It reminds me of the abundant blessings God has bestowed on me and my family. The lights also remind me of his power and majesty. The twinkling brings the outside in and resembles the night sky. What a creator, who can make a whole universe and still care about one little person...me. One can not help but reflect on what it must of been like that one night out of all nights when a king was born to us...for us...for me. A gift that would ultimately be our salvation...would end up the redemption for my sin! As my eyes fix themselves on many nights of twinkling lights I feel a stirring in my soul. The Lord speaks to me thru what my eyes see in the twinkling of miniture lights upon a Christmas tree....shinning words of hope...illuminating the truth of his promises.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1:18-19

To all of you, may you reap in this new year all the peace amd blessings that our Father so eagerly awaits to bestow on us, his humble children.
Happy New Year!!!

Another side

I want to respond to the post my good friend Jan wrote yesterday, November 16, 2005. If you haven't already read it please do so. Thje topic she posted on is about "speaking", the connection between sin and the spoken word. Our good friend Bomba in a post he wrote entitled "Personalities" brougth up this subject and in the comments we had lots to say (check it out). Again, I have lots to say..no surprise there. This is something close to my heart and as it seems close to the hearts of many other christians!

In Jan's post, I recognized a woman who has such a deep love for her Father that she looks deep within herself, yearning to be the best child she can be to her heavenly Father. She might not know the chapter and verse but she understands that God calls us to examine ourselves...2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith, test yourselves." This to me is a pretty positive sign that she IS growing deeper and deeper in her love and faith with her Saviour and in that growth God can use her words in a multitude of ways. After all we are" to go out into the world and preach the word of God".

She is a woman who has shared with us through her words that she is a sinner, as we all are. But her words to us are that we have to continually go to the cross....we cannot be content with enjoying our sinfulness even for an instant. She lists the obvious speaking offences but goes much deeper...she, and I will use her words, lets the Holy Spirit "plumb the depths of that sinfulness" so that she can beg forgiveness and be ministered to. She speaks the words of Psalm 119:36-37 by her example..."Turn my heart toward your stautes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word."

Her words have taught and instructed....which she has beeen called to do by the words of her Creator and Saviour. "True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with ME in peasce and uprightness, and turned many from sin." (Malachi 2:6) Also, let us not forget the bold instruction given to Jeremiah which is an example to us.."I do not know how to speak; I am only a child (this is Jeremiah)." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. Then the Lord reach out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me,"Now, I have put my words in your mouth..." (Jeremiah 1 :6-10). I can affirm that in the short time I have known her that her words have turned me from sin...her words bringing God's light to me, helping me care more for others, striving to be less judgemental, bringing me time and time again to the feet of the cross humble asking forgiveness for my short comings.

From her mouth have come to me words of compassion...with Jan I have shared fears and sadness, suffering and hurt. The Lord has spoken to me through her which would not be possible if she did not know HIS words and did not know HIM in such a personal way. She had been the tangible reminder of the words in Isaiah 54:10.."Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be remove." says the Lord, who has compassion on you. She has been faithful to respond in her words to remind me of God's immense love for me, how much he cares for me and to remind me of his constant protection. She has shown great compassion, through her posts and comments, to feel the pain , distress, sadness and confusion of others. And in that she is serving her Master, following in the example of the one who has the ultimate corner on compassion.

Jan has been, with God's help, able to do all this with words that "bubble" out with joy and enthusiasm. There is no way, if you read her posts, that you could miss the joy and enthusiasm she feels for her King of Kings. Her words express Psalm 89:1-2.."I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." More times than I can count I have been a little down and either by her posts or by the words left on my comments (or ones that we both read) I have been lifted up. God has used her words to bring me back into the joyful arms of my Saviour.

Is Jan human? Does Jan fail? Does Jan feel doubts and insecurities? Yes, I am sure she does....she is a part of the human race battling sin each and every day. Jan asked in yesterday's blog if in speaking could she be sinning? I am sure that she has made a mistake or two in that area but what I see in her words are something I can not do without! I see a strong, compassionate, caring, loving, God lead woman who is fulfilling a job that Christ has lead her to. He has given her the skill of communication, the heart for others. There is something else very special and possible unknown even to her... we are observing through her thoughts and words the process of the dying of oneself and in turn a deep, deep relationship with God. I find that an awesome priviledge.

And one last testimony. When I started blogging in July of this year I had very little contact with other christians which was somewhat sudden. I had homeschooled my children and live out in the country. This same time last year they graduated from high school and started into college which made my home very, very quiet. Neighbors are very scarce and to go to town you have to drive. Everyday up until the children graduated was kind of like bible school...reading the bible with them...writing their English papers about christian issues...all our subjects were always faith based. Around here I was always fortunate to have at least two other people to share the Lord with on a hourly basis if I wanted! Then college came (they still live at home but are gone all day) and it was just me here day after day. And on top of that, we had car issues and my vehicle went to them. So, I was not able to join a bible study group or get together for lunch on a regular basis with my other good christian friends. I did have my two sisters who talk on the phone with me alot and my best friend Betty who most of you know. She commits Thursday to come out here and spends it with me. Before you feel tooo sorry for me I was doing okay and then God brought blogging to me. I thought the purpose was for me to share with other homeschool moms what I was going through.....I am not so sure of that now and haven't been sure for sometime. It has for me been kind of a blogging bible study and instead of bringing to me women who are struggling through what I was he brought me a circle of diverse new friends! A wonderful group of dedicated christian brothers and sisters who have encouraged me, prayed for me, shared joyfulness with me, spurned me on to examine my walk with Christ, and loved me boundlessly. I have grown in Christ, my prayer time has been on fire, my knowledge of scripture has exploded and all this fruit from the written word. And what is equally amazing is Jan is in British Columbia, Canada and I am in Dearing, Georgia! Another of my dear christian friends who has answered the call is Bomba...in his twenties, interested in music, unmarried and in Alabama. Go figure!!!I don't think he was pulled in by my thoughts and feelings of being in your forties, married for 28 years and having young adult children!!!! I'm telling ya'll, you and your words are of our God's perfect plan and I am here to testify to that!

So Jan, that is another side of the words you speak...should you be silent today? If the Holy Spirit is leading you to that heck yes! But, as for me you are doing a mighty work for our Lord and Saviour and I need you to pass on to me the thoughts He lays on your heart. Also, be on guard that Satan is not trying to steer you off the path of writing...there is so much fruit being bore I can see the devil wanting to put a stop to that. If God uses the fruit that has come from my life to test if you have been following Him and his will then there is no way you can receive any words short of "You are my good and faithful servant." Keep dishing out to us, through the words of our Lord and Saviour, the truth, the light and the way!!!

A jump out of stale!

Well, I hope you have read 1 Chronicles 16:23-32. I have taken just a portion of this psalm of thanks from David. Most of us know that we are to give God our thanks and praise but I find myself, too often, saying the same words over and over....kind of stuck in a praise routine. Oh, my praise is from the heart and is meant in all sincerity, but for me, right now it is rather stale! Your thanksgiving might be fresh and if it is great...for me, He showed me ten steps to "freshen up" my praise using verses 23-31. I will list the steps, which for the most part coincidence with the verses then end with some praise using the steps. Just sit back and enjoy what God showed me....

1. Proclaim his salvation day after day
2. Declare his glory
3. Declare his marvelous deeds
4. Praise his greatness
5. Refer to his glory and strength
6. Refer to the glory due to him, God Almighty
7. Bring him an offering..."I offer you my love, my heart, commitment..."
8. Say "the Lord reigns!"
9. Give him your thanks
10. Do it with joy and jubilance and even in song

My most merciful Father...How can anything I do for you compare to those horrific hours you hung from that wooden cross, in payment for the sins that I have and will commit. It is only because of you, and through you carrying the burden for all of us, that we are redemed and will, one day, be joined with you for eternity. It is only because of your grace and your suffering that we have been saved and will leave this life to stand in your presence never to leave your side.
You have laid before me all the works of your hands....all your splendor surrounds me. Your majesty cannot be denied...you have covered the earth in it, from the heights of the sky, ablaze with the twinkling of a zillion stars, to every creature small and large that live in the deepest depths of the ocean. All glory belongs to you. Nothing, especially life, was done by chance...it all fits into your marvelous plan. You designed this world and me to fit into your perfect plan. We have been put here for and with a plan, your plan, what a marvelous deed! Great are you and your greatness I will praise this day and in the days ahead.
You are creator, you are sustainer, you are my strength, you ARE...without you there would be no one..nothing. That is why I call you Saviour, Creator, Lord, Father, Almighty, and humbly I call you "Most Holy One". I would not be worthy to even speak your name but I have asked and you have healed me. Today I, in all my unworthiness, give myself back to you. Because I belong to you I offer this day to you. I will listen attentively for you to call me to be used for your service. I will open my heart to your Holy Spirit, so that I can walk in your ways, so that I can continue to grow, so that I can draw closer to you. Forgive me, Lord, for where I have failed you, for where I have fallen short, for what I have done and what I have failed to do. I trust in you and feel your forgiveness...I know you love me and I know that I can declare with confidence that my "Lord reigns!"
Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice for me, for your immense love, for your unending forgiveness, for your constant protection, for your continual leading, for your loving patience, for blessing me abundantly, and for loving me enough to bring me into this world and your perfect plan.
To you is all glory and power for day and for always....

Back in Bloggersphere!

Surprise, surprise, surprise......I'm back and so very blessed to know I was thought of!!! I have alot of catching up to do....How is the move going Jan? Every day ya'll are getting closer and closer to the wonderful blessing God has provided for you...honestly, I have thought of you every day as I have Bomba! So Bomba, how was the vacation...are you rested? Did you get quality time with family and friends?...I was suppose to be your way this weekend...visiting my brother and his family over the weekend in Fitzpatric and Mongomery, but had to cancel the trip. How about the game on Saturday...Auburn squeaked it out in the last minute....my family VERY upset over their Georgia loss but i'm sure all of Alabama rejoicing....great game though! And to Bett M., thanks for being soooo faithful and now you have a chance to practice your comment making (you know that makes my day), and remember practice makes perfect. Sissy, I have missed your comments, just consider myself lucky that I get to see you and speak to you either directly or indirectly through MEEMEE (of course, most of my life is thru MeeMee). Ton-Ton, I hope the schooling won't keep you from reading some of my shorter posts...can't promise them to be too short, I have alot stored up in me...mostly things you have planted in my head from our talks....and Patti, I caught up today, since my eyes were not watering like faucets and I could actually focus. Are you ready for game on!? Maybe we can wait a few weeks.... Can't wait to hear from everyone!

My disappearance was mostly due to computer problems. Even while writing my last couple of posts, our computer kept freezing up and just steadily got worse. We took it to a computer shop and was told it was a problem with spies so they wiped it clean...still didn't work right...then back to the shop and we were told it was some kind of "motherboard" problem, whatever that is. They tried to get one from the factory.....to make a long story short, we had to decide whether to buy a new computer or overhaul this one. That made for some delay while we shopped and compared what we had with what we could buy and which would be the better deal. Important time lost, not just to me (separation from my friends is hard), but my husband does alot of his engineering work here at home on this computer. Anyway, this weekend we got our overhauled computer back with more memory, faster, and hopefully better. But. instead of being able to jump right to ya'll, I had caught the flu middle of last week and was so sick I was able only to lay around and whine a whole lot. Every year my mom and I go to Alabama to visit my brother's family...my nephew's birthday is the day before my moms so it is a great birthday present for her. We load up and celebrate the two birthdays together there. We were suppose to leave on Saturday morning and return on Monday morning but Thursday night I had to cancel out. I was running a fever and just too sick to drive the 5 hour trip. I was very disappointed....mom and I always have a great time together...I treasure the time alone with her. And it is great to be able to visit with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece and nephew and not be distracted with my family. But, it wasn't in the cards so maybe another weekend soon.

All that said, I am back and ya'll have made me feel so special and important...actually taking the time to inquire about me...ya'll have great big hearts and it means alot to me. I have rambled on today...sorry about that....but please read 1 Chronicles 16:23-32....tomorrow I want to talk about it. God spoke to me this morning and I feel He wants me to share some thoughts on this scripture with all of you. If ya'll read it today or tonight I might be able to keep my post a little shorter (that would be for Ton-Ton!), not having to write out the whole scripture. Then I can use the post to pass on to you what the Lord has spoke to me. I am really excited and can hardly wait for tomorrow!

And by the way, Friday is a big day for my sister and brother-in-law out west....please pray for skill and guidance for the doctors, peace for their family and most of all, for them to feel God's presence with them on Friday! God is in control and he loves that family very much....we need to trust that His will can be done in their lives and in ours.

And finally today, here's to being together, for the blessings that I receive from each of you, and the joy and love from being one in Jesus Christ. See ya'll tomorrow.....I can't wait!!!!

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as our does for you.
1 Thess. 3:12

Conflicted

Right off the top I want to express my humble thanks for the prayers, support, kindness, caring and love shown to me by my blogger friends. God has truly enriched my life by bringing us together in word and spirit and I am grateful for ya'll. As corny as it may sound, I really could feel your prayers, caring and love.....and Bomba, you said it...I WAS LIFTED UP! Ya'll have a gift for making people feel loved and important, and I know that comes from the deep love and understanding of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and out of a personal relationship with him, our Father. "In all my prayers for all of you, I always prayer with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1: 4-6

A quick report.....the knot in my stomach on the right side is nothing at all to be concerned about and the tenderness on the left side has a term but again is nothing to give a moment's thought to. The doctor will be calling today and now we have a plan....I will be going to a headache specialist and try to connect all the dots to get some relief and knowledge about what is going on up there (some say there is not alot and I tend to agree at times with that assumption!). The doctor was one of the kindness doctors I have come across (God really picked him for me), thorogh, caring, and sensitive. There are still some test results to come in, but there is no indication that they should be anything but great news! Share with me, in the joy of having brothers and sisters who are so full of Christ's love that, in a moments notice, they can be whipped into an army of God out of love and concern for someone they have never ever met!


So, let's talk about the subject of being conflicted. I want to present several sides of this issue and I hope you will respond with more ideas, thoughts, scripture.....it is, to alot of wonderful God loving people, a very gray area. What area is that? I am speaking of Halloween.....Jan wrote a blog about it yesterday and I agree with her position...yet Mandy made a comment on Jan's blog and I agree with her point of view also. So, in the interest of understanding the decisions made by our christian brothers and sisters let's look at several sides of this.

Halloween has a pagan, wicked, evil origin. There is no debate on that. There are alot of devote, righteous christians who believe that participating in the dressing up, the giving of candy, having parties on this evening are participating in the "devil's work". They feel that if they did this they are participating in celebrating something that directly goes against scripture and God's law. I have no disagreement with this....there are so many scriptures that tell us not to be a part of Satan's work and witchcraft is definetly that. There are many christians who sincerely believe that the best way to combat this pagan holiday is to turn off their porch lights, spend some quality time with their children and pray for the light of Christ to eliminate the evil of what others are doing as they, for most people, innocently participate in the rituals of Halloween. They are trying to righteously show their children that there are stands to make in this life and that, fun or not, they have to stand up for good over evil. They strongly believe in the battle on earth between the dark and light sides and they do want not to open any windows into the side of evil. In the here, I have been there and done that! It is a valid stance.

Then we have the sincere christians who gather together on Halloween, in the church gym or activities building for fun, games, hotdogs and a prayer service. Usually, because they know that children love to dress in costume (one of the two biggest pulls of Halloween) they allow that with some distinct guidlines, no devils, witches or evil costumes. Some call it a fall festival or call it family night....it doesn't matter what you call it, the intent is to make a conscious decision to give that night over to the glory of God! Most of the ones I have attended have been filled with family fun, praise and worship singing and a sermon on the family level. The belief is that in banding together they are pleasing God, witnessing to others, and facing Satan toe to toe, reminding the serpent himself, that our God reigns every night but especially Halloween night. In the here, I have been there and done that! It is a valid stance.

Another thought, in the christian realm of thinking about Halloween, is the way Mandy approached it this year. If you read her comment, their family welcomed trick or treaters but witnessed to them. By her comment, I concluded that her first witness was to her neighbors....as a christian family they were trying to dispel the apperance of being judgemental. I applaude them on this, me being the one that has talked about letting the Holy Spirit lead you to share your christianity with people who the Holy Spirit has softened and made ready to hear the truth. So, they welcomed the trick or treaters but still upheld their christian beliefs by using this night to personally evangelize those who came to their door. They handed out "Adventures in Odyssey" cd's along with the candy! I have known people who have done this very thing...not "Odyssey" cd's, but candy printed with "Jesus loves You", What Would Jesus Do?" bracelets, christian activity books, pencils with scritpures written on them....something that would be used to get the message of "truth and light" across. The thought is that we are to go out into the world and proclaim the gospel and what better night when the masses are coming to you. And I am sure, in Mandy's case and the others that have chosen this route, that many a prayer went along with the candy and witnessing tool. In the here, haven't done that one, but surely support it.....it makes a lot of sense to me.

I have gone back and forth my entire adult life about this subject. It became, to me, not the worst holiday of the year because of it being a Satanic holiday in origin but because of the wrestling we would have to do every year as it approached. No matter which way we went we felt under some comdemnation that we were less of a christian because of the approach we took. And the funny thing is we tried it all....no matter what we did, we received the scorn from other brothers and sisters who felt another way. You could say it shouldn't matter what others think we are here to please God.....the only problem with that is we have never been able, on this subject, to figure out what is right in God's eyes! We have never gotten a peace about how this holiday should be righteously celebrated, or like alot of faithful christians, if it should be celebrated at all. What I do know is that alot of people who I admire, who are people that love and seek out the will of God, and who live each day working to become closer to their Saviour, are also conflicted about what to do with Halloween. So I am going to use the month of October, from now on in the after, to share about the ways I have tried to find peace about Halloween. Also, I am going to lend my support and love to my christian brothers and sisters as they struggle with being conflicted about this holiday. Maybe, just like there is more than one way to skin a cat, there might just be more ways than just one right way is to spend the evening of October 31st. After all it boils down to the condition of our hearts....and I want my heart to be full of love for the sincerity of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

"The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results." James 5:16

Praying for one another

I believe so strongly in the power of prayer...my belief is that God rejoices in a family of his coming together to lay their requests at his feet. In my heart I understand that in this life we are very limited in what we know and understand....we have just a droplet in the bucket of what our Lord knows and wills. Yet, without knowing even a reasonable part of the picture we are to walk throught each day with faith in our Father, that the things that befall us in this life have a purpose, meaning and are for our good and complete the "big" picture. The only problem is someone forgot to tell my emotions about all of this!

I have been struggling with a migraine since Sunday....I have taken all the medicine allowed, which also worries me since I am not one to take medicine. The last week has been an exhausting week...waiting on results of my brother-in-law's CAT scan, all the talk about our family friend Theresa and her death and to top it all off this nagging migraine that I can not seem to get rid of. I woke up the other morning and when I went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror, my right eye was droopy...it scared me! With these migraine it is a struggle to function...my head just pounds, I see spots, I stay sick to my stomach and my emotions and thoughts run wild. Trying to push through, my daughter left me the car one day this week so I decided that if I got out it might do me some good. I got dressed, hair, makeup and all, even though I had the feeling I was going to throw up at any moment and drove the car the 11 miles to Thomson. My visit to my little favorite store was short lived....my vision was blurry, my head was pounding, my stomach upset. Needless to say, I cried all the way home feeling very defeated, very tired and a little afraid.

I was able to get in to see a doctor I admire and trust very much. The appointment is for Monday afternoon and I am just counting the minutes. My life is usually a very simple, joyful life. I can see one leaf turning colors on one of my trees signaling fall and it will make my whole day. I can get the housework done and can hardly wait for my husband to come home and brag about how clean everything is....I love even the simplest things about my life. But, this make me feel so burdened, oppressed, empty. My time is spent trying to keep my mind from going where it should not instead of being free to feel the joy of my Lord and life. So, as my christian brothers and sisters I am asking you to take some of the burden from me and pray for me.....pray that my panic thoughts can be bound and that the doctor on Monday will have some very simple answers for me like changing my dosage of medicine or trying some other type of medication. Prayer that the peace of our Lord will engulf me this weekend and that I will be freed from the pain of this migraine. Prayer that I can come to the place where my emotions and thoughts don't override my faith. And lastly, if it is God's will pray that I will be healed from these migraines altogether. Thank you for being one in the faith of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Questioning God...

There has been alot going on around here....happenings that cause you to stop dead in your tracks and reflect on your life, the life of others and ponder the question of God and his will. If any of you read my sister's posts over the weekend, you already aware that someone my family knows died in her sleep Saturday night. This woman, who was around the age of forty, left a husband, ten children (five months old to a senior in high school), family and lots of friends. This is just another happening that is hard to comprehend.

The list in the last six months is lengthy and unsettling....Katrina, the earthquake, my brother-in-law's cancer, and now this! Is there more death, despair, tragedy and death this year, the last five years, this last decade... or am I just getting older and more aware of man's mortality? Is it that, as a country, we have become so civilized, so sophisicated, so knowledgeable, so scientific, so confident that we have forgotten that we are not in control of this life? As christians, have we strayed a bit...have we been shy of speaking the truth, that we are just using this life to pass through to another life...the perfect life? I know I am guilty of this...my first thoughts when Katrina was churning in the gulf was to keep it tuned to the safety of the weather channel. My first thoughts of the massive deaths from the recent earthquake was that we should be lobbying for buildings to be built safer in California. When I was told of my brother-in-law's cancer, I wanted to rush my husband to the doctor so he could get checked so I could receive the okay! All these responses are quite normal and natural but it had me doing some hard thinking.

Do I think of all tragedy, despair, and death as distressing, a heavy blow, something that needs to be reasoned out? Yes, for the most part, I have been guilty. But recently, I have come, through God's help, to try to focus on the mystery of the bigger plan. God has shown me that there are things in this life that I will never be able to reason out, I will never come to understand, I may never even see the purpose in them. When my mind starts to go in the direction of trying to figure out God's purpose, I have to pause, remind myself of how minuscule my thoughts and knowledge of God are. My thoughts, for a moment, can be of sorrow, can be compassionate, can be caring, but then have to turn to rejoicing in the omniscience of our King. My words have to convey my trust in the unknown paths of a Father who made me for whatever time and purpose of his choosing. My mind has to wrap itself around the fact that I am just a vessel, He is the potter...some things in this life I just have to accept on faith that He knows what is best.

In this life, whether it is short or long, whether I have plenty or I am in want, whether things come easy or I have to work by the sweat of my brow, I want to be emptied unto Him...to have all parts of myself be one with Him. I want not to look inward but to look upward, to have a faith so strong that I choose to let the mysteries of this life be solved in knowning that my God has all the answers.

Not one sparrow will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-30

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God. 2 Cor.1:8-9

A Winner

Most of you have heard that a family in Oregon have a winning lottery ticket worth 340 million dollars!! My husband and I don't play the lottery....we don't have anything against it, we just have never gotten into that sort of thing. But we have had those discussions about what if..? Of course, our first thought is of our children....build them each a nice house out here on property ajacent to us...buy them the safest cars on the market....set them up in their own businesses...take a family vacation to somewhere they have always wanted to go. Then our thoughts and dreams have run down the list of family starting with my mom and dad.....hire them a full-time chaffeur so mom doesn't have to drive...move them out here to the country with us (this is where they were going to retire before daddy lost his eyesight).....provide the means for them to go on as many missions trips as they could possiblly fit into their lives. We have entertained ideas about what to do for our siblings on both sides of the family....setting up businesses for our brothers and sisters, paying back school loans they have acquired, paying off their houses so they could be debt free, buying everyone new cars that get excellent gas mileage. But, we have not only entertained dreams of material things for ourselves and our family, we have had dreams of what we could do for our friends, our church, our pastors, and a precious nun we have known for over 25 years....she is one of 12 children, she is from Ireland, and has very little money or material things. We have always said that if we came into money we would buy her a plane ticket so that every year, for the rest of her life, she could go back to Ireland to be with her family. And we have discussed dreams of being able to spend money to help those we don't know... using our money to help fund finding a cure for cancer, paying for kidney or heart transplants for those who can't afford it, setting up a children's orphanage....there is so much we would and could do if we hit the jackpot. The bottom line of our dreams are to help bring others to Christ, help to alleviate suffering and sickness, to help make this life a little more comfortable for our family and friend and help them accomplish what they think is God purpose in their lives.

Well, we haven't won 340 million, no chance since we don't even play the lottery. Our dreams are still the same...to help bring others to Christ, to help alleviate suffering and sickness, to help make this life a little more comfortable for family and friends, and to help them accomplish what they think is God purpose in their lives. This is what we attempt to do each and everyday with what God has chosen to give us in this life....truth that is illuminated through a relationship with a risen Saviour, a heart that is seeped in compassion, hands and feet carrying a servant's attitude and a soul that is lead down the path of His will. Oh, we have won the lottery, the prize of knowing and following a life in Christ Jesus and the prize of a life everlasting.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

Plain Scary

Our family received some bad news last night. My brother-in-law Jonathan, my oldest sister's husband, has been diagnosted with prostate cancer. He is in his early 50's and in great shape...he is a southern Baptist preacher, a father of four...he is a husband, a son-in-law, brother and brother-in-law. The news came over the telephone, to him, and today they will be going to see the doctor to find out their options.

This news fills you up with every kind of emotion, fear, sadness, panic, loss....the word cancer is just plain scary! I talked with my sister last night in an attempt to "be there" for her. I was at a loss as to what to say to Jonathan. She has already has some panic and fear but seems to think that after they talk to the doctor they will all feel better. Having a plan of some sort is better that just trying to deal with the unknown. She will be calling today after the visit with the doctor to tell us more.

This is a family of deep and strong faith. They will trust in the greatest of all physicians. They will surrender to him and let His will be done. They will walk in the shadow of his wings and come to our Saviour for comfort. I am sure though, that this will be a hard path to walk, that in their humanness they will need each and every one of us to storm heaven with our prayers, to be there to encourage them, and to show our deep love for them. Jonathon has an amazingly intimate relationship with the Almighty...one that is deep, trusting, unquestioning, knowledgeable. His is a man who really dwells in and with Christ. This will be important in the days and months ahead. As my sister and I finished our conversation late last night she said that she has always, since she was a little girl, truly believed God can do anything! These are the kind of thoughts that will help carry them through this time that will bring many challenges.

Please pray for them and ask others to pray for them also....this time the announcement of the big "C" has hit home. I told my sister that we will storm heaven and that is what I intend to do. The news, yes, is plain scary, but Jonathan and Tenny have the greatest of all physicians, a father with the biggest arms of comfort, a heart for them that is bursting with mercy, ears that are ready and waiting to hear their fears and concerns.....a God that will overwhelm them with his love and strength.

Fall is Here.... at Least in Dearing

The weather is changing. The temperature last night was in the low 40's out here in the country. That wasn't my only indictor though. My warm weather son, Russell, coming into my room this morning in his Northface long sleeved shirt, looking a little blue around the lips and asking if we could close all the windows was the best clue. Yes, it is fall and time for me to do my "seasonal thing". This week the house will be decorated with plump pumpkins, scarecrows, pots full of mums, and anything in the colors of red, yellow, orange, and brown. My fall quilts will be brought out, the summer dishes will be replaced with fall dishes, and my workcenter will be covered in stamps of acorns, leaves and sunflowers and papers of varying shades of browns, reds and golds.

This seasonal phenomenon has always puzzled my men..."So, honey..have you been shopping? Didn't know so much dinner could fit on a leaf shaped plate....what happened to my trout coffee mug?..no, oh no, I don't mind drinking out of a pumpkins mug..are these new? ...."Hey, honey...see you have started on a new quilt?! Is that the sun or sunflower? .....Acorns?..Well, looks to me like that color brown paper would do just fine..no, you think it is tooo brown...oh, yes that lighter brown looks better..oh, that color is not brown!?..that color is terra cotta..I would have never guessed!......Puzzled, oh yes, and they seem to stay that way!

The seasons for my men signal better fishing or less fishing, more yard work or less yard work, piling up loads of wood or not piling up loads of wood. For me, the change in seasons renew in me an appreciation for God our Creator, the Almighty One, who with one stroke of his hand covered the earth in colors of brilliant yellows, vibrant greens, shocking pinks, and soothing lavendars in spring and summer. Then with another stroke of His heavenly paint brush....shocking reds, deep oranges, bright yellows and strong browns dominate the landscape in the fall. Oh, and even here in the south, about once a year, he chooses to throw out the colors and whitewash the land making it, sometimes for more than a day or two, a white or iced wonderland.

The seasons, for me, also remind me of the love and caring of my Father. Just as the abundance of "babies" (birds, bunnies, squirrels) in the spring always amaze me so do the flocks of Canadian geese, flying in picture perfect formation overhead, knowing where they are going, and what they have to do. I can sit for hours watching the striped chipmunks scurrying around with their cheeks full of nuts, preparing automatically for the winter. Gone are the flutter of the hummingbirds, only to be replaced by an increasing of the sounds of our owl friends. On cool crisp evenings, the heavens are bursting with the twinkling of millions, upon millions of stars.The Almighty has taken such care with every single detail of heaven and earth....His way of reminding me of the care of every detail he knows and takes care of in my life!!

As much as I love the feel of the cool earth in my hands in the spring when planting starts, I also love and rejoice in the smell of holiday turkeys and pies baking, of the togetherness of cool nights spent under handmade quilts watching old movies by the flickering light of the fireplace. I can not help but praise His holy name as the leaves on the trees change colors and fall, leaving a carpet of red and yellow on the ground. A smile and "thank you Jesus", is on my lips as I place bold orange pumpkins and pots of red and yellow mums down the steps of the deck and by the door welcoming each and every vistor.

So, as I go about my "seasonal thing", part of which is reminding my husband that I have not been shopping...we have had those plates for years...it is not a new quilt, it is the one I have brought out every fall for the past four years...if you can make your son drink from the "pumpkin mug", then have at it, you will be off the hook(!), it is not about commerialism or secularism...it is about love, gratefulness, appreciation, joy. It is about being reminded to give my God, my Father, my Creator all the praise and honor and glory due to him. Let us all rejoice and be glad...Fall is here!!

...He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her thanksgiving and the sound of singing. Isaiah 51:3

God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, "fall on the earth", so that all men may know His work. Job 37: 5-7

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor. For everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom: You are exalted as head over all. Now, our God, we give you thanks and praise your glorious name. I Chronicles 29: 11, 13

It Sounds Like Him

Yesterday, while cleaning the house, I received a phone call. The voice on the other end identified himself as my husband and he sounded like my husband , but WAS it MY husband?! "Hey honey, a friend told me about a little place downtown. Every Tuesday night they have an Irish band that plays...how about the two of us going down there, having a good cold Irish beer and listening to the music for awhile...just the two of us?" My first thought was who was this person and what have they done with my husband? So, using the detective skills that I have honed while raising my family, I was going to get to the bottom of this..."Excuse me, what exactly did you say?" Okay, so I need some more honing on those detective skills....yes, it was my husband's voice but I was sure, like in one of those old 1970's scifi movies, that someone or something had overtaken him.

You see, in the here, dates were putting the children to bed and watching a good movie on cable while eating a homemade pizza. it is not that my husband doesn't desire to spend time alone with me, it is that we put evenings away from home on hold while we were raising our family. First, my husband was a fireman and spent every other 24 hours away from home...ate, slept, and resided at the firehouse. Four out of every seven days were already spent away from his home and his children so we where not going to spend one of those precious three evenings out somewhere. Also, I was schooling my children through elementary, then middle and finally high school. I was the teacher, by our choosing, but it was a weighty responsibility. I needed every evening to prepare myself for the studies of the next day...doing algebra problems, reading literature books, studying their biology, learning their goverment and world history. You see, if I didn't know the material, if I didn't do the problem sets, if I didn't read the books, how in the world could I teach, little less answer their questions. We developed our bedroom as our meeting place. Instead of hiring a babysitter or leaving the kids at home, driving somewhere, spending time and money we did not have, and then arriving home past our bedtime, only to be not at our best the next day, we would put the kids to bed, and go to our room. There we would have a picinic or a movie. I would make special iced-coffees, and desserts. We would talk about hiking trails and camping..books and movie ratings...my cares and his concerns. But, go out on a grown-up date...drinks and music..traveling there and back..I haven't been asked to do that since.......

So again, using those honed detective skills and also using my femine protective skills (wanting expectations to be the same), I asked, "Russell?, are you asking me to go out at 8 pm tonight with you to listen to some music and have cold beer or an Irish coffee? Is that what you said?" The "Russell" part was to trip him up in case it was an imposter! Clever don't you think? What came out of his mouth next really left me dumbfounded..."Yes, that is what I was asking you, I thought it might be alot of fun for us. It's time we started getting out a little and doing something just for us!" Has some romantic, grown-up man taken over my home-body, no crowd, ruled husband? Seems like it!! After some discussion, we decided that since he had been at work since 4:00 am, we would go for our date next Tuesday. He would go in at a resonable time and come home early....he said we might even let the kids take care of themselves and grab a bite to eat. So next Tuesday night I have a date...i'm still not sure that something or someone hasn't overtaken my husband but it did sound like him...and this morning when he kissed me goodbye and reminded me that Tuesday we had a date, it looked like him. It appears that all of us in this family, in the after, are going to be doing a little growing up and spreading our wings a little. Here's to next Tuesday and the luck of the Irish!!!

Go, eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a merry heart, because it is now that God favors your works. ...Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of the fleeting life that is granted you under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9: 7,9

The Sun, My Son

This weekend, as we were driving home from our camping trip, my son and I were discussing what he did not like about the mountains. He loves the fishing, the camping, the changing leaves but he does not like that the sun is not bright and visible. That is the problem with the "Smokey Mountains". There is always a haze, a greyness, filtered light...not the bright shinning sun like at the beach and he loves the beach especially the bright sunlight. I could not help, as he talked, of listing in my mind some of the adjectives used in conjuntion with the "sun" and how these describe my "son".

The first one that comes to mind is "bright"...my son is very smart and not only is he smart but he picks up on things very quickly. He pays attention and listens, files it away, and brings it back when needed. He is able to teach himself, he, if interested, and is eager to learn. Put these together and I think that qualifies him as "bright".

As the "sun" is ever-moving so is my son. He wants to participate in it all, is ready to try new things, puts himself out there to be and take part of whatever is going on. He enjoys new experiences and can do things with one person, a group of people, young people or the elderly, boys or girls...which helps keeps him ever-moving!

The sun is "holy". There are multiudes of scripture which relate to the sun and light and is used in the context of holy. My son is like this....he is not a saint, no perfect by any means but has a holiness about him... a deep sense of right and wrong, of godliness and ungodliness, of God's presence in his life. He really attempts to make "holy" choices and knowing his heart as only a mother can...he's "holy" in my book.

I looked up "sun" in an old 1940's book of adjectives that I have. One that jumped out at me was "joyous". That is really my son. He always shows joy, passes it on with his attitude, spends each day joyous for whatever is coming his way. Being joyous is a choice, for some coming easier for others, and he definetly chooses sees the joy in life.

"Ministering" is something related often to the sun...the effects of the sunlight on our mental health, ect.. Russell also has this quality. He is the source of help that everyone comes to. It happens often that someone comes to him, telling him about a problem and asking his advice on what to do. He listens attentively, always seems to be able to come up with something quite logical, simple and sound. Back during the summer months, he was headed home one evening when he called us on his cell. He told us that he would be late picking up his sister due to a friend needing to see him right then. When questioned further, it was one of his male friends who was having some sort of girl crisis and needed to talk it over with Russ. My husband remarked how different times have changed...he thought that was a girl kinda thing..crisises in your love life and needing a friend. It was then, in talking over other instance that came to mind that we realized...boys, girls..they need him to minister to them.

Have you noticed how the sun is "never-hurried". It comes up when it is suppose to, makes it way across the sky, taking all day then slowly sets. My son, even though he is busy, he projects a relaxed style...he seems "never-hurried". He is orderly and stays on schedule which keeps him from seeming hurried, flustered, in a rush. He makes the most of his time so he is able to fit in all that he wants or needs to do with being hurried. Yes, I would vote for "never-hurried".

Russell has a great smile, he is a handsome guy, and always connsiderate, and kind...a very "pleasant" person on the inside and out. I looked up the definition and it read, "pleasing to the mind, feelings, or senses." There is no need to say more...he encompassses this.

One thing all my family can agree on is that Russ is steady....steady as the "sun" is. He has an even temper, he is loyal to all his friends, he always works hard on whatever he is doing. He is a man of a few words, speaking when he has something to say but mostly listens. He is steady...he can be relied on and his actions, for the most part, can be banked on.

When Russ was about three we made a conscious decision that when his daddy was at the firehouse, he should sit in daddy's chair at the dinner table. This was not to put undue pressure on him but to start modeling him into a strong, responsible, protective man. One day, we knew he would have a family to care for and he would be the "strengthening" force in his family. Little by little we wanted to train him to be strong without taking away any of the God given gentleness that was within him. He has a strongness, a strength that others draw from. Strong in his convictions, strong in his relationships, strong in his determination, strong in his faith....strong and strengthening everyday just like the strengthening of the "sun".

As a young man, he probably would not like to hear me say this but he is "tender". Tender like the sun's rays on a spring morning...tender like the early morning sun...tender like the last glimpse of the sun settting on the horizon. When he was born, God gave us a gift of the tenderness in him. I had a girl first, and was very happy to have this one and then more..plenty of girls...I came from a family of girls. The last thing I could imagine was having a loud, harsh, hard son. I knew a tenderness in his father, thought at times thought that men made like that were miracles... that didn't or wouldn't happen often, but knew in that respect I wanted him to be like his dad. I prayed and prayed and prayed and God answered that prayer...He gave me a son with a tender heart, a softness ....just like his daddy. One day, there will be a girl in his life that will be greatly blessed, like the girls in our family are, because of this tender heart in a man's body.

And lastly, an adjective that the "sun" and my "son" share is warmth. He has a warm spirit, a warm heart, and a warmth in the way he deals with people. Have you experienced sitting in the sun on a spring day and being so cozy that you drift off into a nap? The warmth of the sun as made you relaxed, calm, serene. The warmth bring a tranquility to you...just like my "son". The adjectives here...relaxed, calm, serene, cozy, tranquility, warmth, they all describe my "son". He treats other in a relaxed, calmand warm manner. He makes them feel serene and cozy around them. When you are with him you feel tranquill....just like the warmth of the "sun".

Thank you for listening...I know all of you feel the same about your children! As parents we love our children with full hearts and of course see the very best in them. Thank you for allowing me to boast for a little while...it is not something I try to do often. God has blessed me with two wonderful gifts...my children. It is through His blessings, His grace, His guidance that I have been given these precious gifts of life. He has given me a "son" to love, train, nuture, and raise to walk the path of a righteous man of God and I am doing the best I know how. It is only with my Lord and Saviour at my side guiding me in every minute of every day that I can attempt to do the job he has graciously given to me. And thank you, son, for giving me, your daddy, and your sister such joy, love, trust, and pride in the child of God you are. I love you beyond words.....Mom.