During the Lenten season at church we sing a response that asks "My God, my God why have you abandon me?" Of course, we know that God has done everything for us BUT abandon us.
Though for a few minutes last night I lost it and sure felt abandon. My husband and I were sitting in church and sometime into the mass I happen to notice that there was a notice in the bulletin that upset me. The bulletin stated that one of my favorite people, Sister Bernadette, was leaving. Why was that so upsetting? Sister is my strength, my security, my mentor. During every hard time in my adult life Sister has been there for myself and also my family. When my mother-in-law had to have an emergency procedure, there was Sister. When my mother-in-law died, there was Sister. When my father-in-law was struggling, there was Sister. The same when my father-in-law died...there she was. During the months of Amanda's accident that tested me to the core...who was there..Sister! We turned to Sister when we needed help when my son got engaged and again when Amanda and I were in rehab and home in a hospital bed. Sister was there with a hug, with encouragement, always with communion for us. In fact, Sister was there, along with my mother and sisters when Amanda took her first steps in rehab. My holy Sister Bernadette was there for both my children's first communions and always around as they grew up...she just has always been there with us and for us. Oh God, the last two years have been full of great trials..why are you putting us through one more change? Why are you taking my special friend and Sister from me? I felt alone and abandoned by God.
My dear sweet Sister is loving, giving, dedicated. She is a very tiny woman, with a soft, but assured way of speaking. But every inch of that small frame and soft manner is wholly and humbly dedicated to God our Father and bringing that to others. She gives tirelessly and will not stop at anything to bring comfort to those that need it. She is selfless and don't even try to get her to speak about herself...she is not interested in talking about herself only others.
After church we were able to talk with her and thank you Jesus!...she is not leaving. She won't be working with the sick and shut-ins any more for our church instead she will be working at Catholic Social Services in town. She probably though I was having some kind of breakdown because I hugged her so tight and couldn't stop crying. She knew...she knew. She reassured me and told me this was her home and she wasn't going anywhere! My God, my God...why do we doubt? And not just because Sister Bernadette is staying here but because after all we have been through I know that God would have helped me make one more adjustment. After all we have been through, I know God loves me and will ALWAYS take care of me..."Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5. I know after the events of the last two years that my God loves me beyond measure and even when times are hard he is right there with me ready to minister to my every need. Oh God, my God you will never abandon me!
Thank you dear Sister Bernadette for being Christ in this world and being such a big part of our lives and the lives of so many more.
"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13: 1-2
"For he who touches you touches the apple of his eye." Zechariah 2:8
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