One Bright Star

One bright star that led them to the greatest gift of all...Christmas is almost here!

As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.

I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.

Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.

This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!

Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!

Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.

WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.

I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!

Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.

At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!

Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina

Belonging to Many

Amanda, her dad and I were at the hospital for an appointment with Amanda’s shock trauma doctor. As we were sitting in the waiting area, just separated by the hospital hallway by an archway, I heard a woman’s voice call out my name. To my pleasant surprise it was Miss Jackie, the secretary from the operating room at the hospital. Miss Jackie was one of those people who knew all that Amanda had been through. She was the first one we would see every time we had to come down to the operating room which was about a dozen or so times. Miss Jackie was the person who placed us in a cubby hole or “holding” as they call it…the last step to the operating room. She always knew what Amanda was having done and because Miss Jackie worked in the OR she pretty much knew Amanda’s condition. She always would smile at me; tell me the best team was ready to go, and that her and her whole church was praying for Amanda.

I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.

Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.

I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.

Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!

Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.

Preparing the way

In those dark hours the first few days of my daughter Amanda's accident I was told a story....

There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.

Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.

This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!

This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!

Not Just a Number!

I have a thing about hair. I have always wanted and kept long hair, enjoyed all the ways you can style and wear long hair, and even enjoy caring and brushing my hair.

When I first met my husband he had long, dark, thick hair (he has some Cherokee Indian genes). I was envious of how thick and dark his hair was. My daughter was born with a head full of her daddy's dark hair. As she grew, it took on a beautiful auburn red color with sparkling gold highlights when the sun hit it as if it was dusted with gold....thick and beautiful! My son's hair got much attention from me also but for the opposite reason. He was born bald and it wasn't until about 2 years of age that he grew any hair. But when he did it was the cutest blonde curls you could imagine. Not exactly boyish but remember he was a toddler. I loved those curls and couldn't keep my hands from stroking those little curls that covered that head!

Over the past year God has been helping me to dealing with totally putting my trust in him. Most of you know that this year has been a real test for me and my family...my daughter in April of 2007 was hit head-on in her car, then in July of 2007 she had to have emergency surgery, and then again she was in a devastating truck accident, that almost took her life, this January. My son works on two fire departments and is in EMT school, and my husband, who hasn't been without a job since he was 14 years old, has been laid off twice in the last 2 years! Yes, God is doing something in our lives and we are either going to sink or swim and we are swimming like crazy right now!

Anyway, God reminded me of this very small scripture in the book of Matthew but it shouted out to me. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

God knows of everything that happens even to the sparrows and he tells us that we are much more important than they are. We are of so much value to him that he knows the number of every hair on our heads! WOW! Because God places such worth, such value on us we should never fear difficult trials. These can't turn God's love from us.

The next time you run your hand through your hair or run your hand through the hair of your family member, the next time you brush your child's hair, or fix your husband's unruly locks, turn your eyes up toward the Father and thank him for having all those hairs numbered...for that is not just a number...that is a heap of love, worth, and protection!

"This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it--the Lord is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:2-3

From broken to joyous...

Today in the life of the church is the Easter Vigil. What a difference today must of been for the disciples after the shock and grief over the death of their beloved Savior.

Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".

God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).

Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.

And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.

I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Happy Easter to you all!

Suffering but not separated...

God has moved me to take the time to quietly sit down and once again share with all of you what HE has laid upon my heart.



For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.



When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.



Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.



I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!

The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!

God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.

Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!

Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family

Radiant Faces

This past Sunday, I was a visitor at a little country church. In the traditional manner, at a Roman Catholic church, most of the people were on their knees praying. What I observed, though, caused me to pause. Their body language spoke of anguish, pain, suffering. They were very bent over, had their hands covering their faces or either had their heads in their hands. Don’t misunderstand what I am trying to convey. It is not wrong to be reverent…to pour out your heart to the Lord…to be lost in prayer with Him. I am positive that these people were praying heartfelt, sincere prayers and listening to the voice of God. I am not judging them, or saying that I think they were doing anything wrong, it was just something that I noticed. It just struck me and, I must admit, my first thought was how sad they looked in contrast to how happy I was to be sitting there. I find myself smiling a lot in church, even though I have had the occasional time I probably looked a lot like they looked…I love being in church! I feel lifted up by my church family, happy to be giving my time to my Lord, and I feel His presence in a special way at church.

What I observed Sunday, came back to mind again yesterday. My friend and I pray every Tuesday afternoon (a part of the Mom In Touch International) for our children. We pray for a solid hour, deep in prayer, lost in the Holy Spirit. But every Tuesday, when we finish praying and open our eyes we are smiling! As we grinned at each other yesterday and uttered the words that always seem to jump from our lips “that was awesome!”, the imagery of Sunday came back to mind.

Today, I opened my devotion book and the scripture to read was Exodus 34:29-35. That is the scripture on “The Radiant Face of Moses”. God is telling me something! It starts out…”When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord”. Exodus 34:29. Then in the next verse, “When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant…”. Exodus 34:30. And again in verse 35…”And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, they saw that his face was radiant.”

Moses’ face was radiant after he spent time with God. The people around him could clearly see God’s presence within him. We have Christ within us and since he is in us, our faces can reflect Christ. Remember in the book of Matthew, the transfiguration of Jesus….”There he (Jesus) was transfigured before them (Peter, James, and John). His face shone like the sun…” Matthew 17:2. I know that every prayer time with God will not produce a face that can light up a room. Reverence, solemnity, piety and veneration are very holy…they are show our devotion, our holiness…they are a form of worshipping our Father. Our time meditating, praying, and sitting in God’s presence should have such an effect on our lives that people will know we have been with God, that the risen Lord is dwelling within us.

So, if you see a “radiant face” or a “face shinning like the sun” don’t assume that that person’s life is perfect, that they have no trials or tribulations, or that they have it all together. Instead, recognize that that person is a sinner just like you or I, that they have problems and stress just like you and I, and they are covered by the blood of Jesus just like you and I. But they probably and consistently are praying and meditating and sitting in the presence of God and it is our Lord’s presence within them that is making their “face shine like the sun”!

FUN FRIDAY!

How well do you know the meanings of the names in the BIBLE? After taking this I realized I didn't know very much at all on this topic...so you give it a try! The answers will be printed at the bottom of this post.



1: Who was blessed with laughter when her son was born, and named him accordingly? Sarah...Rachel...Leah...Rebekah



2: What does the name "Adam" mean? man, or blue sky....man, or red earth...man, or green grass...man, or rocks of earth



3: When Naomi retured to Bethlehem, to what name, meaning "bitterness", did she change her name? Sarah...Mary...Hannah...Mara



4: Whose name means "my judge is God"? Samuel...Daniel...Ezekiel...Jaaziel



5: Which of Jesus' titles means "the anointed"? Lord...Jesus...Emmanuel...Christ



6: What does the name "Elisha" mean? my God is faithful.....my God is salvation...my God is king...my God is joyful



7: Which disciple's name means "manly"? Peter...James...Andrew...Matthew



8: Which man's name changed from meaning "requested" to meaning "little"? Abraham...Jacob...Peter...Paul



9: What does the prefix "Bar" mean in a name? son of...house of...tree of...light of...



10: Which king had a name which means "healer"? Josiah...Asa...Soloman...Jereboam



Next Friday I will post 10 new questions so study up!



A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."



Today is four weeks since my daughter's surgery...she is healing fine and we can finally laugh a little. Here are ten things you hope never to hear in surgery...in celebration have a laugh!

• What's this doing in here?


• DARN! Page 47 of the manual is missing!


• I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.


• Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?


• Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.


• That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!


• Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.


• You sure it wasn't this leg?


• OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.


• There go the lights again...

Here's a brain teaser...

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count aloud the ' F' s in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again. The answer is at the bottom.

Answers: 1. Sarah 2. man, red earth 3. Mara 4. Daniel 5. Christ 6. God is salvation 7. Andrew 8. Paul 9. son of 10. Asa

Answer to brain teaser: There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".

Being Pursued

As a woman, and a romantic at heart, I love the idea of a man pursuing a woman. The definition of pursue…”to follow, to seek, to find, to chase”. When I was young the thought of a young man seeking me and then chasing me was something right out of movies like “An Affair to Remember”. I was pursued some 30 years ago by a very handsome young man who caught me so that special kind of pursuit, for me, is over.

But I was thinking yesterday that I have been being pursued… pursued every single day, every single hour, every single minute of my whole life. I have a God in heaven that pursues me every second of this life. My God is following me, he is seeking me, and yes, he has chased me! He is relentless, focused, and unwavering in his want to “catch” me. He has put his whole being into me…even more than that…he even gave his only son in pursuit of me. In contrast to some 30 years ago, this pursuit doesn’t matter if I’m charming or beautiful...if I have social skills or status. To this holy pursuer it doesn’t matter whether I make mistake or make all the right steps in life. I still get pursued! His constancy, his devotion in pursuit of me is always and forever.

That takes me to a hard look at myself and my pursuit of my God and King. Is my pursuit of my Lord and Saviour aggressive? Am I seeking a relationship with him unceasingly? Do I him follow him relentlessly? Is my pursuit of being one with him focused and unwavering?

Take this little test and see how you would rate as a “pursuer” of our Heavenly Father. The great news is however we rate ourselves it doesn’t matter to our God….we will still be pursued. He is so enamoured with us that he will continue to pursue us despite anything we have done or haven’t done…whether we are on the social register or homeless…whether we are beautiful or need plastic surgery…whether we welcome him or push him away. What a love story! Looks like tomorrow I’ll be pursuing my Saviour in a whole new way…focused, unceasing, aggressive. What about you?

We all have times of testing!

Years ago, when I was in the midst of raising a young family, James Dobson was steadily rising in the ranks of "prominent, know-all authority" in child raising. I, like most of the young moms back then, read his books, listened to her talks on the radio, and discussed his thoughts with other moms. Listening, changing, and the desire to do the right thing has never been a problem for me. In my spiritual life I have never been rebellious... I have always been eager to listen to others and God about how to become closer to God...been willing to change because I long to please my Father...had a desire to love and serve Him to the best of my ability. But, I never thought I handled the trials and tribulations very well.

The problem, for me, was and is that I am a follower not a leader. I have the type of personality that wants someone to direct me...not in theory but literally. One of the things, to this day, that stands out for me was James Dobson telling us mothers "not to let our children throw a temper tantrum at the grocery store." This was a problem I was having at the time...grocery shopping being a war zone. It seemed like when we passed through the threshold of the grocery store we stepped right into another world...one of bad attitudes, disobedience, and general mayhem. We would have a "little talk" outside in the car but the end result was always the same...bad! I clearly remember talking with my girlfriends and asking," but how? If someone would just tell me exactly how not to let her pitch a fit I will do it!" I remember my mother coming to the rescue and answering my questions...not in theory but literally. I literally followed her advise and it worked!

At this point you might be saying, "where is all this dribble going?" I do have a point...My life over the last 2 years has been the hardest it has ever been. Have I handle the hard times well? It doesn't feel like I have. The trials of my life started 2 years ago with the end of homeschooling and the end of my identity as I have known it for the past 25 years. Then my husband was laid off and had to start all over again. Then I stepped out in faith and went to college, which is definitely not my comfort zone...and most recently my daughter's accident and then emergency surgery. I have struggled with loneliness, fear, confusion, shame and condemnation. Sometimes I have felt so worn down that I have almost given up. Did you hear me say almost! One of the questions asked when we go through times of testing is "where is my faith?" Actually, as long as we are hanging in there we are walking in faith (belief in something we can't see)...we are still talking (well maybe crying out) to God. We are laying ourselves at his feet. We are searching his word and asking our brothers and sisters for prayers. Almost doesn't mean anything! "I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to me because my hope is in him, to me because I seek him." But the devil is beside us whispering in our ears. He is telling us that we are doing everything wrong and nothing right. Our guard is put down and before long he has stirred up in us shame, confusion, loneliness and condemnation. I have been told over and over to give it all over to the Lord. But, for me being a follower, what does that mean?

The answer goes against everything we are taught in the world. We might not get immediate gratification...holy moley! We have to think of our trials as battles in a war. Before our soldiers go to war they have to go through training, get suited up, equip themselves with the tools to fight and then go into battle. Let me tell you this...battles are not won in a day! Even in today's world with all the sophisticated equipment, battles can be fought for days, months, years, and even centuries (look at Israel). Not every trial or problem in this life is solved immediately. Every feeling and emotion doesn't automatically come under control as soon as we offer up a prayer. It is a process...it is a battle and each one is fought and won in it's own time. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6". There is no Commander-in-Chief that has more power than our Commander-in-Chief, and every battle is eventually won under his leadership. In that we can put total trust. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. Keeping that in the forefront of our mind, we need to do the training, get suited up and equip ourselves to fight as long as we need to. Our Commander-in-Chief knows all, is in control, and is leading us even when we don't feel like we are being lead or even following very well.

All this isn't new revelation...we as Christians already know what I have just said but sometimes we need to hear it again, see it in print, be reminded of the truth. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. So being a follower instead of a leader let me put specifics down to help with the battle:

• Every single day confess your sins. Be real, even if it seems like it is the same sin day after day. Don't let Satan lie to you (like he does me) and tell you what a mess you are because you are having trouble battling an area of your life. Lack of confessing to God doesn't make fear, or shame, or condemnation go away, instead in confessing it, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES, shows how much we really need God's help and also how much we want his help. "But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I plead aloud in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He rescues me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, even though many still oppose me." Psalm 55:16-18.
• Do spiritual warfare. Using the name of Jesus, command Satan to leave your thoughts and stop playing with your emotions. Again, don't expect your thoughts and feelings to change overnight but keep waging the battle in the "name of Jesus". Pray that your ears will become deaf to the sound of his voice and that your emotions will be numbed to any evil attacks. Ask God to be in control of bringing HIS joy to your thoughts and emotions. As you recognize each lie replace it with truth. It might take some time to recognize the attacks (he comes as a wolf in sheep's clothing) but as soon as you clue in pray, sing, rejoice! Push him out!
• Read your bible...for me that was hard because as soon as I got quiet Satan seemed to enter my thoughts. It was hard to be still and not be distracted. Get a concordance and look up specific passages..protection, mercy, grace...look them up and then write them down. That was a help to me rather than just picking a book of the bible and trying to stay focused on reading it. The important thing is that you are bathing yourself in the bible, HIS word, God's truth. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
• Pray! Pray for strength, wisdom, protection, and growth. Pray for a deeper relationship with him and be sure to give over your will to him for his perfect will. As I sat in that doctor's office 3 weeks ago, and heard the doctor say that they might have to do a full hysterectomy on my only, single, 24-year-old daughter I honestly was able to put fear and control aside ask him to do his will. Oh, I asked him to have mercy and keep her body intact but I was really able to tell him that I would accept his will. I was able to tell God that I knew whatever happened He would be doing the best for her! Pray, pour out your heart to him. "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:1-3
• Do not isolate yourself. Spend time in the fellowship of other believers. Draw from their joy, their love, their faith. No matter what comes our way we need people, relationships, and companionship. Let the people around you encourage you, make you laugh, lift you up and give you break from the "serious life". "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25.
• And finally...bet you thought you would never get to the end!...exercise, eat well and get the proper amount of sleep. All studies show that in times of stress we need our to keep healthy to keep our stress levels under control. I know from personal experience that I come under more attack and have a harder time battling when I am worn down. Physical strength is important to spiritual strength.

This post is really, really long but I feel like the Lord has used my circumstances to help others and if I don't write about it then I will not be doing HIS will. I hope this post has been an encouragement or a help to someone. We all have or will pass through times of testing...each test for us unique to our makeup...what might not be a trial to one might be a very hard test for another. But whatever the trial is God knows about it, is with us, and will bring us through it stronger, wiser, and with more compassion for others. Let's help each other....FOR HIS GLORY AND FOR THE LIFE THAT IS ETERNAL.

Thinking we are smarter and bigger than GOD!

I am going to be honest…I have a problem distinguishing between CONTROL and RESPONSIBILITY. In talking with other moms, I have found that I am not the only one out there that crosses the line from responsibility to control. In defense of “us” it is an easy trap to fall into. As moms we have to take responsibility for our children, the running of our homes, the family’s social agenda, and a whole lot more. From the time our children are babies we control almost everything in their lives….when and what they eat, where and who they play with, what they wear, when they sleep, when they awake, what they watch, read, and discuss….the list continues. We are being responsible moms.

As our children grow, the control is suppose to lessen but for most of us we find that very hard to do. One reason is because we have trained ourselves to micromanage the actions, words, and even thoughts of our children. We are not bad parents, we are human and take the responsibility of raising and caring for our children seriously. Here lies the problem…we begin operating under a false pretense, a false sense of security. We control because we want to keep the people and things around us healthy, happy, and safe. We fall into thinking that if everything and everyone is under our control, then life will be free from worry or pain. That is what happened to me during the last 13 weeks.

I needed to stick to just being a responsible parent…. Keeping her comfortable, getting her to the doctor’s appointments on time, doling out her medicines, keeping her on a healthy diet, taking care of the insurance needs, helping her deal with her school and teachers, etc. Instead I forgot who was in control…fooled myself into thinking it was me, which in turn brought me nothing but worry, anxiety, confusion, and depression. Isn’t it funny…did I really believe I was smarter than God…did I really believe I could control life better than God? To be honest again, I guess I did…but I couldn’t and can’t and will not ever be able to!

I have a responsibility as a mother and that responsibility is not to control but to release the control of my children into the hands of our wise and loving Father. I have a responsibility as their mother to pray for them, asking God to do his mighty work in them in ways I can’t imagine. I have a responsibility to pray for God’s protection and guidance over my children. I have the responsibility to pray that my children will recognize God’s great power at work in their lives….Ephesians 1:18-20, “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.”

There may be times when we need to lovingly suggest a change of course to our children or wisely petition against a dangerous decision. We can suggest, impart our wisdom, and be loving and caring but we need to leave the control and power to God! This has not been the first time in my life I have tried to take over God’s job and control things on this earth. And it probably won’t be the last time. But when I start to feel myself sliding down that slippery slope, trying to use my power to control the safety, the health, the happiness of my children, I will pray these words of encouragement that Paul gave to the Corinthian church:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 1 Corinthians 4: 6-9.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me through this time of trials. Thank you for using this time to teach me to "set my mind on things above". Continue to help me turn my heart and mind toward you and your truth so that I, through your power, may gain a more eternal perspective. AMEN!

EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

One thing I struggled with during the weeks following my daughter accident was fear and anxiety. In my head I knew God had covered her in his protection during the actual minutes of impact and even in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that followed. In my head I knew God was in control and protecting us but it was harder to hold that in my heart. I believe, though, that because of the stress, the lack of sleep, the nursing that had to be done, plus the duties that come along with being a student and a mother I was weakened to the attacks of Satan. I was at my most venerable....an open door for him to walk through.

Satan knew that door had been opened and he boldly marched right in. The fear, the anxiety, the condemnation came on slowly...at first it seemed like I was holding it all together rather well. But little by little I became overwhelmed with one terrible thought...we have used up our one "get out of jail free" card...this is our one big miracle...what will we do in the future? As she lay on the couch coughing and running a fever I could only sit quietly trying to fight the condemnation that would consume me. Looking at her swollen, bruised, ash-colored foot I would feel so panicked I would feel sick to my stomach. When her foot would go numb and turn purple I would not be able to breathe little less pray or think logically. As she hung over the toilet throwing up I would feel so helpless that it was hard to be in the same room with her.

You might be thinking "and this woman is a christian? Why didn't she pray?" Oh, I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I fought Satan, I denounced Satan, I, in the name of Jesus, commanded him to stop speaking to me. I called on the name of Jesus, I cried out to my God, and I begged for his help.

Yet, this one evening, I knew there was not much fight left in me...I was tired, discouraged, overwhelmed, and I felt very alone. My daughter asked me if I would drive her into town to get watermelons painted on her toenails. I gladly agreed, knowing that after all she had been through this would be good therapy and I was also just glad to see her wanting to get out. As we drove along one of the major highways she said, "Mom, I'm a little worried. I can't feel my toes, my foot has been a funny color and there has been a big lump below my knee. You do think everything alright don't you?" All I could do was smile a fake, pretend smile and respond with a "I'm sure everything is alright but Monday we will call the doctor". Inside I thought I was going to be sick...I was clutching the steering wheel, I felt everything spinning, my chest was hurting, I couldn't concentrate on the highway, in fact, I don't know how I made it to the Nail Salon.

That was my low point...the lowest! When we parked the car my daughter invited me inside to sit with her but I asked to use her cell phone and chose to sit in the car. After some hysterical tears I called one of my big sisters. God really used her that terrible evening...she didn't say anything that I didn't already know or that I hadn't heard before but she keep me from going over the edge. She remind me of the stress that I had been under, that I was human, that all the things in my mind was really an attack from Satan, and that God really was right there with me. Thank you my big sis and thank you Lord for giving me a sister that loves you so much.

After our conversation that evening, and for days after that, the Lord kept bringing to me the scripture that states that His mercies are new every morning. I have known that scripture all my life but on that evening, and in the days that followed, he taught me that scripture. I was speaking with a friend and she said that every morning his mercy is like a whole, new, fresh harvest. I love my gardenia bushes and in the summer I love to go out every day there are flowers on the bush and pick a whole apron full to put throughout my home. That is like His mercies. His gardenia bush of mercies blooms to the fullest every...EVERY single morning for me, for my children, for my husband, for my family....for all of his children. Our God is a God that never runs out of gardenias...never runs out of mercy for us. With God it is not a game that is played...we land on the right spot and we receive the "get out of jail free" card...oh, no with our Lord's great love we are not consumed, he is steadfast, his compassion never fails. His mercies are never ending and his compassion is greater than any trial, any hardship, any doubt, and yes, even any attack from the enemy.

The devil hit me and hit me hard for weeks. But he didn't prevail....GOD DID! God has strengthened me, protected me, loved me, fought for me, and taught me. He has freshened an old scripture for me...it didn't come easy and it didn't come fast but it is definitely a valuable lesson. This lesson I will hold onto for a very long time!

"It is of the Lord's great mercies that we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22

Does the journey end?

Thirteen weeks ago, Monday, April 16th, my daughter was in a head on automobile crash. She was coming home from school, about 11:15 a.m. and a truck, coming from the opposite direction was forced over the center lane of traffic and hit my daughter's car head on. She had to be cut from her vehicle with the "jaws of life" and taken to the ER on a backboard and neck brace.

Praise God her injuries were not life threatening, but the crash did cause substanial damage. We have been dealing with a foot broken in two places and a broken ankle on her left leg, a sprain on her right ankle, deep shoulder bruising on the left side, and multiple bruising and swelling over her arms and legs. She developed bronchitis during the few days after the accident. She has had two casts put on and then was moved into a "star wars" type boot that is unattractive and clumsy. She has developed two hematomas on her right ankle (the sprained one). During the first 3+ weeks she has had only one shower and one bath. Our first attempt at a shower, thinking we had the cast securely wrapped and waterproofed, only ended in a wet cast, much emotional upset, a $1,000.00 bill, and an exhausting trip to the orthopedic doctor for a recast. After about a week, we attempted a tub bath only to discover that it is not as easy as it sounds. The tubs in our house are great for soaking but not custom made for someone who has to hang their leg over the side. We found the tub to be too big and she ended up sliding around and needed pain medicine after that small ordeal. So, we have been left to washing hair in the sink and taking sponge baths. Also, she experienced seven episodes of vomiting and stomach pain in the first eight weeks of recuperation; that was explained away by the doctors with logical reasoning...adverse reaction to antibiotics, too much pain medicine, stomach flu. On Friday, June 29, after spending all night in the emergency room, being discharged and then having a late morning appoinment with her GYN, she was rushed into emergency surgery for a three hour operation. She had some masses, not cancerous, that were present but not detected before the accident, but due to the force of the impact of the collison these "dermoids" were forced down in a place they were not suppose to reside. They pushed her ovaries behind her uterus, thus twisting her ovaries, causing extreme pain, possible loss of ovaries, and possible loss of life. Our appointment with the doctor was at 11 a.m.....signed consent papers at 2 p.m. and was wheeled into a three hour surgery at 4:20 p.m. She pulled through major surgery, was in the hospital for 4 days. All this in the last 13 weeks!

Those are the physical injuries...now to the mental upset. She slept in the living room on the couch with me on the love seat for the first two weeks, afraid to be at the other end of the house by herself. During the next three weeks she slept some nights in her bed but was not back there every night. Her emotions have been fragile..tearing up easily and needed to be reassured she did nothing wrong! She missed four weeks of school, which could have affect her chances of getting into the nursing program in the spring of next year. She has a great job working for our pediatrican, but was not able to work for the first eight weeks. She was back to work for one week and three days when the surgery came up. Now she will be out another 6 weeks. The loss of school and work had an isolating affect on her, separating her from her friends and relationships she has day to day, which did nothing to help her mental health. She was unable to drive for about the first five weeks, which meant she was stuck with mom taking her back and forth to school and doctors, which are the only places she was able to go. She has experienced pain daily and when we take one step forward we then stumble two backward. She was afraid to drive, although she was able to overcome that but now the problem is we are adjusting to sharing a car (though her driving is limited because of surgery)...her car was totaled. That brings tears to her eyes...that particular car meant a great deal to her. When she started driving "Mr. and Mrs. Daisy", her grandparents, six years ago it was that car they took on all their trips. Long trips but also day trips to Atlanta and Columbia, S.C. They counted on her, bragged on her driving skills and bonded in an incredible way. When they purchased a new car a year ago they passed this car down to her telling her that in their mind it always was her car! She has told us many times how even though the car was ten years old she would want no other. That car was filled with memories and a connection! Then there are the phone calls from the other two parties insurance agents. One of them has been pleasant over the phone but certainly has an agenda. She has repeatly passed on conjecture, assumption, and "their side of the story" even though none of what she has said is fact. The agent for the other driver was rude, cold, and arrogant. She also felt the need to tell my daughter their "version of what happened." NONE of this is necessary...my daughter is a victim, she didn't see anything except a white, big truck hitting her windshield and then her car started spinning! There is no decision for us to make as to who is at fault and I don't want my daughter brought into this mess! This unecessary interrogation and conclusions from these agents hasn't helped her at all! I told a friend this morning that every day thus far has held for us a snag, a twist or an obstacle.

I was coming home from school that very day...just 30 minutes after her. I came upon the traffic backed up and as I sat there I saw her car being hoisted on the wrecker. There it was...broken, tattered, one door missing, and the windshield busted to bits! As I frantically drove to the emergency room...I am the only person in my family that doesn't have a cell phone so I was unable to call anyone.... I remember praying that she was not seriously injured, that God would be there with her so she would not be alone, and wishing it had been me instead of my precious child.

I sit here today to acknowledge and to shout out the blessings my Lord and Saviour has heaped upon my family!!! As I was trying to keep myself pulled together on that drive to the ER a song keep playing in my head...the verse that was ringing in my ears was "would you take the nails from HIS hands." That song, for me, is driving home the point of how much we should love our Lord...how much he loves us! I can tell you that as the verse rang through my mind I was inwardly telling the Lord that I would have gladly been in the car instead of my beloved daughter. And he said to me..."I love as you love...I took those nails in my hands for you and for Amanda...I love her more than you can fathom...I am with her." And with her He truly was!

First, it is a true miracle that she survived the crash...the state patrol, the EMT's, the police and firemen...all who responded to the wreck have told us that. Second, there was another student from Amanda's class, someone she knew who "just happened" to work in the ER. She "just happened" to be right behind Amanda's car. She immediately came to Amanda's aid...trying to keep Amanda calm and called my husband. Together the two of them decided which hospital to take Amanda to...the one this young woman worked at so Amanda wouldn't be alone until we arrived. Then the is the woman we refer to as the "woman in pink". We don't know anything about her except that Amanda saw her for a brief minute, knew she was wearing pink and could hear her praying nonstop. Amanda said even though she couldn't see anything...they had her covered while they cut the door off the car...she heard this woman praying and praying and praying. My daughter told me how this woman really helped her to stay calm and what a comfort it was.



My niece who is older than Amanda and a true big sis to her and works right across the street from the emergency room was able to get to Amanda first . God provided comfort to her...her big sis! Then one of Amanda's aunts arrived..both of them there to reassure her. The doctor working the ER happened to be our neighbor so there again was God provision. We ended up with quite a crowd...grandmother, 2 aunts, 3 cousins, best friend and then mom and dad. Love and prayer pouring out over her! All by the hand of God.



Then there is the blessings at school....Amanda switched schools just 3 wks. before the accident and is now attending the same college I am. Our classes during the spring quarter overlapped...she needed to be there one hour earlier than I but our day ended at the same time. Again, God knew the future...He knew there was going to be this accident, I am positive of that! For the weeks she missed a friend and I were able to get Amanda's tests from her teachers and bring them home to her. Also, being in the same school together I had many opportunities to daily keep in touch with the teachers for her sake. God knew which teachers to supply for Amanda...those teachers showed her great mercy, compassion and caring! They are the cream of the crop as far as people! They were patient, understanding, caring, and merciful to her. In fact, the whole school showed great concern. Teachers I don't even know came up to me and sincerely asked about her health and healing process. God knew and lined up our future to put Amanda in the best place she could be.

There is my friend Claudia...she has come to my house every Tuesday afternoon since the first week and help me storm heaven with prayer. We pray for a solid hour for our children...having praise, thanksgiving, confession, and then petitions. This prayer time has been a lifesaver for me...getting lost in His presence and letting the spirit move throughout me. I couldn't do without this special time of prayer but I also know that there are many brothers and sisters that are out there keeping us lifted up in prayer. My sister had called a friend that knows our whole family, the youth minister of her church to ask him to pray. That was that Friday of the surgery...that Sunday when she went to church and had many questions about the outcome of her nieces surgery, it came to her attention that this wonderful young man had sent out an e-mail to the entire church. God bless him and his faithfulness.

God's protection surrounded her with also a wonderful doctor who did they surgery just 3 weeks ago. He is blessed with the name of John Paul...what a wonderful name to go along with a wonderful servant. My family...husband, son, mom, sisters, close friends, and priest surrounded us with their prayers, support, and encouragement. God brought to us the best nurses...kind, compassionate, caring and good at their job. That was a must in that we, at this point have been physically, emotionally, and yes, spirtually exhausted. But HE has kept His promises to us.."His mercies are new every morning ."

Over the last 13 weeks we, in this family have often looked at one another and asked openly, "Is this journey everrrrrrr going to end?" I have come to realize that the answer is NO...at least not in this life! Everyday is a part of the journey of drawing closer to our Lord, giving over of ourselves to him, letting him take control of the reins of our lives, experiencing His fullness, His mercy, His protection, His compassion, HIS PLAN for us. This life is a life of experiences, easy, hard, good, and bad. This is a life that is a battle...a battle with our humaness, a battle with Satan, a battle with THIS world. This life is a life of being molded into the likeness of our Father, of being stretched and challenged to build our faith and dependence on our Creator. This life is about learning to call on our Lord's power and might when we are just to tired, afraid, confused and helpless to carry on another step. This life is about trusting in his word, rejoicing in all circumstances, and acknowledging his steadfastness. This life is a life of humbling accepting the prayers, help, and love of the brothers and sisters he puts in our lives. And this life is a lifelong journey He has planned for us, allows us to be on, and accompanies us on...never leaving our side while we learn to lay ourselves at His feet, allowing him to transform us, following Him through whatever He leads us...."In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." Ephesians 1:11-12

THANK YOU DEAR FATHER FOR THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE ON EARTH....TO YOU AND FOR YOU BE ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY!

Holy Friday

What a day! Not for me but for our Lord and Saviour. I attended our Good Friday service this afternoon...it is also a veneration of the cross. I can't help it...for as long as I have been going, for as much as my mind knows that the real physical event happened 2,000 years ago, my heart breaks and when I go to kiss the feet of Jesus I weep!

Let me tell you a little story....there was a young man who died and went to hell. His pastor, who loved him, went down to hell to see if he could get him moved up to heaven. No luck. The young man's teachers and coach went down. Still no luck. His friends went down and pleaded his case. And again..no luck. Finally, his mother went down, knocked on the door of hell. When the devil opened the door she asked if she could be admitted to be with her son. There is no greater love than that of a mother...ahhhh, but there is....that of our heavenly father! Just as a mother's love for us is so encompassing that she was willing to sacrifice all to be at her son's side so much more is the love our FATHER has for us. He chose humaness. He experienced saddness, rejection, anguish, loneliness, and, yes, pain when at any time he could have chosen differently. He did it for your parents, your children, your friends, your enemies...he did it for you and me!

I gained alot from church last night...think about this. We all wear badges of love. A mother wears spit-up on her shoulder...her badge of love for her baby. Think about the flour sprinkled in a mother's hair and on her apron from spending the day in the kitchen baking her child's birthday cake...her badge of love for her child. How about the grease under a father's fingernails after fixing his young son's bicycle or his older son's car...his badge of love for his son. And don't forget the wedding rings that couples wear...yes, their badge of love for each other. Then what of the cross...that is the badge of our Saviour's love for us. Invision this...Jesus carried a long ladder over to the cross, crawled up the ladder and onto his badge of love for us...THE CROSS! Picturing him carrying the ladder and crawling up onto the cross helps to remind me that it was deliberate...purposely done...as he mounted those stairs he could have turned back at any time. But, no HE CRAWLED onto that cross deliberately and purposely so that he could wear that badge of love for us! For me, no words adequately describe the depth and breath of his love for us. I just know it is there, how big it is and how grateful I am for such a gift. Not just for myself but for my children, my siblings, my parents, my friends and yes, even my enemies.

So, tonight I am a little quieter than normal, a little meeker, a little more reflective, a little more poignant...on the other hand I am overflowing with thankfulness, gratitude, and honor. But most of all I am feeling definitely loved!

Happy Easter to all! Rejoice and declare his holy name...

Simply True Love

I was disturbed by some articles and postings I read this morning. The opinions were ones I had heard before but had paid little attention to but for some reason this morning they saddened me! Out there are pages and pages of controversy about whether Jesus really died on Friday, whether the Bible commands us to wash each other's feet in church services tonight and if it was really Easter Sunday that he arose! These controversies reminded me of John 13:6-8 and Simon Peter's hold on legalism. Is this really what Jesus wanted us to gain from HIS ultimate sacrifice!

Remember I am a retired homeschooling mom and believe that you need to study your bible and understand what is being said. You should have opinions but this week and this week in particular you should be focusing on the meat of the passages. Do I care if Jesus was born on December 25?! NO! But I am definitely going to celebrate the birth of our king. Likewise, I don't care whether the washing of the disciples feet and the last supper was on a Thursday in April or a Monday in May! I have been going to Maunday Thursday services for my entire life. I have watched, while people I have greatly respected and admired have pulled off their shoes and socks. I have wept while my pastors, whom in my eyes are greatly respected, have knelt in front of their parishioners and humbly washed their feet! Then, for all my life, I sat at the Lord's table and taken his body and blood knowing what darkness there will be tomorrow for Jesus but what light that will be for me! For years I have felt the spirit of God move through our church during these symbolic gesture. I have seen others so moved, as I, by a taste of the realization of the enormity of Jesus' love for us through the washing of his disciples feet and the taking of his body and blood.

Yes, the service tonight might be mandated by some churches' doctrine...But it is to help bring us closer to God and to help us better understand His plan which unfolds in scripture! I read the following once about the events of this week and I am going to quote it because I could say it no better..."The meaning, then, is that Jesus, having loved his disciples prior to this great trial or crisis of his life, was not deterred from loving them by its approach, but continued to give the most precious and unmistakable evidences of his love down to the very hour of its arrival, being neither driven from such a course by the terrors of his coming hour nor wooed from it by the glorious prospects of returning to his Father". Tonight, all over the world, pastors will kneel at the feet of their parishioners in hopes of bringing God's word alive, to help open a tiny window into the sacrifice of Jesus for us, to honor and acknowledge the immense love that the Father has for us. Millions of people will come together at the Lord's table hearing the words,"Take it; this is my body....This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many". And poured out it will be tomorrow.

Over and over in the gospels there are tokens and evidence of his immense love for us. Being in human form Jesus was going to experience the betrayal, the torture, the anguish. As as he wept on Palm Sunday in Luke 19:40.. "As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, 'If you, even, you had only known on this day what would bring you peace..'", he also was sorrowful in the garden that night after the last supper..."My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." Matthew 26:38. And then this verse is very powerful..."And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:44. HIS love is so big, so infinite, so perfect, so encompassing, so immense that, even knowning what was before him, he chose to give his life for us.

There were disciples that missed the "meat" of what was happening. They brought a certain amount of legalizing and arrorgance into the last days of Jesus instead of grabbing the hem of his garments and spending those last days and hours close to our Father physically, emotionally and spiritually. And today, on christian web sites I see the same things happening. But I want to fully embrace the sacrifice and leave the debates and skeptism of when, how, and if to others. Last Sunday, I wanted to jump on that donkey with Jesus and hold onto him while he rode through the streets...couldn't do that but I was in church reaching my palms to the heavens and loudly proclaiming the hyms. Tonight, I will hang my head humbly when I see Jesus in the body of my pastor as he washes the feet of my fellow brothers and sisters. Tomorrow, I will gingerly and tenderly kiss the feet of my crucified Lord as he hangs on the cross in our wonderful sanctuary. And finally, on Sunday, I will put on my best dress and hat and joyfully exalt the name of my precious Saviour. After all, that is the least I can do for the one who sacrificed so much for me because he loves me with the purest and simplest form of "true love".

"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them...I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am HE; I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me. John 13:15-17,10-20

Three in One vs. Four in One

How big is this week to you? It is a really big week for me. This week is a three-in-oner! It is spring vacation, Master's Week (one of the most prestigious PGA tournaments) and Holy Week .
The schools, including the colleges and universities, in the area are always given the week of the Master's golf tournament off. It is one of the most important tournaments of the circuit and played right here in our town. Some residents of our fair town rent their homes out to patrons coming to the tournament. A large portion of us work the tournament, either inside the grounds...gift shops, resturants, maintanence, housekeeping...or double shifts in town to handle the visitors that come in. There are sporting event companies that bring groups of people here and they need van drivers and hostesses for their clients. Thousands of people descend on our southern doorstep and transform it into one big happy town. The sun shines, the azaleas are in bloom, the dogwoods glisten and, especially if you like golf, LIFE IS GOOD.

Spring break!!! Not much needs to be said. Breaking out of the winter doldrums with a trip to the lake or the beach or just having time to work out in the garden is much needed by now. I remember when I was a young person in school (versus an old person in school) and I knew that spring vacation meant that the end of school was approaching soon! In school, on Friday, there was an air of lightheartedness. There was alot of joking and laughing and not much schooling. Everyone was talking about what they were going to do this week. In fact, on Friday, attendance was down. Some decided to leave early for their spring vacation. Whether you physically go somewhere or not, whether you have some big plans to work or attend the Master's, whether you have things to get done at home or just want to rest, LIFE IS GOOD.

That got me to thinking about Holy Week. Jesus started this week off, on the surface, in an exciting way. He was the center of attention and was hailed as he rode through the streets. Jews threw their cloaks onto the road and others laid down branches that they had cut from their fields. "...the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen: 'Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest'". Luke 19:37-38

But yet Jesus knew what was coming. He knew what was ahead this week. He knew in this one week he was going from being hailed as a king to having his authority challenged, to being betrayed by one of his own, being arrested and tried, tortured, humiliated and then hung on a wooden cross to die a slow and horrendous death. The following little passage spoke volumes to me because knowing what lay ahead for himself Jesus loved enough to weep and feel compassion for others.."as he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, 'If you,even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace-but now it is hidden from your eyes...because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.'" Luke 19:41, 44b.

This week I can choose the three-in-oner...or I have another option...a four-in-oner! We have a schedule of events this week that are unsurpased. Forget spring break and the Master's golf tournament. Instead we can focus on our Master's week...the second option. This week is enormous in our spiritual lives. We have four life changing events...the triumphant entrance into Jerusalem, the last supper, the crucifixation, and the resurrection. How much time have you spent since Sunday praying and studying and talking to God? Are we spending as much time spiritually contemplating where Jesus is headed this week as we are worrying about the temps at the beach? Is this just another holiday...travel and sightseeing to accomplish, presents and clothes to shop for, a big meal to focus on, guests to entertain? Do we have as much emotion for the spiritual events of this week as we do for the events of a golf tournament or how our vacation will turn out? Is this week just a passing thought or have you spent time really taking in the events of this week? How many excuses are we going to find to not attend church on Thursday and Friday?

In this one week all came together...Jesus is establishing God's eternal kingdom, a reason for the greatest celebration of all. How much honor are we giving to it?! Give yourself a little test to see and then, if need be, adjust your priorities. Fall at the feet of our Lord and ask him to help you to honor His sacrifice, not just in our talk but in our walk. Try to keep your focus on what our Saviour is doing each day this week so that you can be humbled and truly grateful for this ultimate sacrifice. And don't worry, I will be back on Thursday and Friday to give you more to think about!

"What I have said I will bring about; what I have planned, that will I do...I am bringing my righteousness near it isnot far away; and my salvation will not be delatyed. I will grant salvation to Zion, my splendor to Israel" Issaiah 47:11b,13

Learning from time in the desert

Yes, I am back after a loooong spell away...Jesus spent forty days in the desert, I have spent six months there! Well, not really in the desert, just in school. At times, talking spiritually, it has seemed like the desert. Instead of studying the historical books, I have had my nose stuck in medical terminology and anatomy. I yearn to be an expert on the book of Isaiah but instead have become quite knowledgable in Microsoft Word. But my life is changing, just as the life of Jesus is changing dramatically this week. I will talk about my life later, right now I am desperate to share with you the Lord has laid on my heart. It is my Saviour I want to share!

I want to start with the season of Lent. We are almost to the end of Lent and hopefully we have been taking a really good look at ourselves. I think of it like going to a day spa for the full treatment....you take off your clothes and wrap yourself in a towel. They take all the pretty polish off your toes and fingers and stuff cotton between each toe. Then they wash all the make-up off your face. They put hot wax all over your top lip and under your eyebrows. They brush all the body and curl from your hair, wash it and put color all over it. Then after twisting it up on your head they put a plastic bag over it or even worse foil your hair. Looking in the mirror, you don't feel beautiful, you feel stripped, naked, ugly, and you can see every flaw in your skin, every wrinkle you have, and every bald spot! To become beautified (as they say) we had to be stripped down to the bare us. Spiritually we should have done the same... stripped all the fluff away and taken a good hard look at the real me! Lent should prepare us spiritually for the gift of the ressurection and in the examination of ourselves we should be humbled and growing closer to God.

So here are some lessons I have found! First, if we are not tempted we will never know if we will really obey. We can not show obedience if we haven't had the chance to choose to obey. Our convictions are only strong if they hold up under pressure. Jesus was tempted in the desert and he had to hold up to the pressure. This gives us an example of how we should respond when we are tempted and tempted we will be. But temptation is a good thing. It strengthens us and allows us to evaluate whether we are just talking the talk or really walking we profess to believe.

Jesus was tempted when he was tired, hungry, alone and most vulerable. We need to pay attention to this and realize that the devil is looking for that window of time we are vulnerable so that he can tempt us. When we are under stress, physical or emotional we are vulnerable. When we are lonely, tired, when we have big decisions to make; he is there waiting to pounce on us. We must stay on guard at all times against Satan's attacks. Jesus is there for us, he understands that we are tempted....Hebrews 4:15 "(Jesus) has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin." He is willing and able to help us. We need to come to him!

Second, Satan used natural desires to tempt Jesus. Jesus was hungry...that is a natural desire. How often does Satan use natural desires to tempt us? Money is a natural desire, acknowledgment, attention, love and sex are all perfectly normal desires. In God's time and God's way these things can be satisfied. But, when we give in to the temptations of the devil and give in to these normal desires in the wrong time and the wrong way we are in trouble. Jesus was hungry...and he had the power to turn the stones into bread but the timing was wrong. God had him in the desert to fast, not to eat! Deuteronomy 8:3 says, "He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."

Thirdly, Satan tried to tempt Jesus by telling him to jump from the highest point of the temple. He told Jesus to throw himself down and God would send angels to scoup him up. He was testing the emotional human need for security. Would God protect his son? Will God protect us, our families, our children? How many times does Satan use this in our lives to keep us unsteady, unfocused, unsure?! Over and over and over again! But God is not our magician in the sky. We cannot ask God to pass some security test on our demand just to reassure ourselves that his protection is over us. It says in Deuteronomy 6:16, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test". We have to know our bible, trust the words of our heavenly father and know that he is ALWAYS watching over us and protecting us. After all, he made us and loves us so much that he surrendered his son to a horrific death for us! "...this is what the Lord says-he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel; 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour." Isaiah 43:1-3. Need I say more?!

And the fourth way Satan tried to tempt Jesus out there in that old desert was by appealing to his need for status, power, achievement. Satan took Jesus to a very high mountain and enticed him with all the "kingdoms of the world and their splendor". All these could belong to Jesus if he would just bow down to Satan and worship him. How quick and easy that would be! How many times has the devil tempted us with the psychological need for power, achievement, status? How many times have we, in little ways or large ways, bought into that. Do we crave the materialism and power that the world has to offer? Take a really good look at yourself. Do you want to be in charge of that committee to serve the Lord your God or because it makes you feel powerful and better than the rest. Do you only offer yourself and your service to things that put you out there in the public display, i.e. bible study leader, Sunday school teacher, youth leader, soccer team mom. Would you be as quick to committ if no one knew anything about you and your service? Would you be as quick to offer your service if you were never seen and your name was never mentioned? No power, no admiration, no significance that the world can see. The real truth was that the kingdoms were not Satan's to give. They belong to our creator, our God. The temption for Jesus was to side step God's plan and take the world as a political ruler right then. But then what of God's plan for Jesus to save the world from sin. Satan wanted Jesus to focus on wordly power and not the plan of God. Thank God for us that Jesus resisted that temptation. Again, the scripture Jesus himself quoted to Satan was "Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only" Deuteronomy 6:13.

Will we be tempted? Yes, even Jesus was tempted. Will we fail and sometimes buy into temptation? Yes, but we have the gift of forgiveness and redemption because Jesus stayed on track with God's plan and didn't give into temptation. Can we sin less? Yes, because we have tools to help us along. We have a loving and forgiving Father who watches over us. A father that is with us always and we can call on at any time. He has given us his words to gain strength and direction from. He has also given us examples on how we should respond to temptation, his own son and his trials and tribulation in the desert. And then we also have family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ that will help us here on earth to keep to God's plan and resist straying on a plan of the devil.

As we head into this most holy of weeks let us take a real good look at ourselves. If we haven't already, let us kneel before our Father and beg his forgiveness and ask for his help. Let us resist temptation and surrender ourselves to the Father's plan each and every day. Help us to exit the day spa being humbled, stengthened and growing closer to our Saviour!

"Listen to me, my people; hear me, my nation: The law will go out from me; my justice will bcome a light to the nations. My righteousness draws near speedily, my salvation is on the way, and my arm will bring justice to the nations." Isaiah 51:4-5