Suffering but not separated...

God has moved me to take the time to quietly sit down and once again share with all of you what HE has laid upon my heart.



For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.



When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.



Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.



I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!

The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!

God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.

Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!

Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family