During the Lenten season at church we sing a response that asks "My God, my God why have you abandon me?" Of course, we know that God has done everything for us BUT abandon us.
Though for a few minutes last night I lost it and sure felt abandon. My husband and I were sitting in church and sometime into the mass I happen to notice that there was a notice in the bulletin that upset me. The bulletin stated that one of my favorite people, Sister Bernadette, was leaving. Why was that so upsetting? Sister is my strength, my security, my mentor. During every hard time in my adult life Sister has been there for myself and also my family. When my mother-in-law had to have an emergency procedure, there was Sister. When my mother-in-law died, there was Sister. When my father-in-law was struggling, there was Sister. The same when my father-in-law died...there she was. During the months of Amanda's accident that tested me to the core...who was there..Sister! We turned to Sister when we needed help when my son got engaged and again when Amanda and I were in rehab and home in a hospital bed. Sister was there with a hug, with encouragement, always with communion for us. In fact, Sister was there, along with my mother and sisters when Amanda took her first steps in rehab. My holy Sister Bernadette was there for both my children's first communions and always around as they grew up...she just has always been there with us and for us. Oh God, the last two years have been full of great trials..why are you putting us through one more change? Why are you taking my special friend and Sister from me? I felt alone and abandoned by God.
My dear sweet Sister is loving, giving, dedicated. She is a very tiny woman, with a soft, but assured way of speaking. But every inch of that small frame and soft manner is wholly and humbly dedicated to God our Father and bringing that to others. She gives tirelessly and will not stop at anything to bring comfort to those that need it. She is selfless and don't even try to get her to speak about herself...she is not interested in talking about herself only others.
After church we were able to talk with her and thank you Jesus!...she is not leaving. She won't be working with the sick and shut-ins any more for our church instead she will be working at Catholic Social Services in town. She probably though I was having some kind of breakdown because I hugged her so tight and couldn't stop crying. She knew...she knew. She reassured me and told me this was her home and she wasn't going anywhere! My God, my God...why do we doubt? And not just because Sister Bernadette is staying here but because after all we have been through I know that God would have helped me make one more adjustment. After all we have been through, I know God loves me and will ALWAYS take care of me..."Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5. I know after the events of the last two years that my God loves me beyond measure and even when times are hard he is right there with me ready to minister to my every need. Oh God, my God you will never abandon me!
Thank you dear Sister Bernadette for being Christ in this world and being such a big part of our lives and the lives of so many more.
"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13: 1-2
"For he who touches you touches the apple of his eye." Zechariah 2:8
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
S Joy!
There are many types of JOY that i'm sure you have experienced. What comes to my mind is probably the same as what comes to your mind. There is the joy of love, the joy of graduating, the joy of birth, the joy of discovering new places and traveling, there is the joy of an expensive gift, the joy of a new home, and the list goes on!
The Lord spoke to me this weekend about a special joy...SIMPLE JOY! How many of us have the honor and priviledge of experiencing plain old simple joy? I have and I do and the Lord would like all of us to experience this gift He brings to us. Simple joy is just that. It is that same joy you feel when something big and important happens but simple joy can come along with the things in life that don't have alot of fanfare, glitz, drama. This kind of joy comes from being happy in life and with life. It is a joy that acknowleges that every minute of every day is a gift...a gift from the Father to us. Simply joy comes from being able to slow down and experience what is important in this life. It is a joy that comes from recognizing that ALL things come from our Lord and that we are not the masters of this world but that God is in control of all things.
Simple joy is excitement upon seeing the first hummingbird at the feeder in the spring, making popcorn for family TV night, getting or giving a hug from or to someone, singing 70's tunes with your children, digging the weeds out of the garden, people watching while eating an ice cream cone on Main Street, listening to the purrs of your kitten. These are some of the simple joys in life.
I am blessed with experiencing the hand of God upon myself and my family. I am honored and privileged that my Saviour has heaped so many blessings upon me and my family. I want to see God's majesty around me and not be too busy and let it pass by me. And I thank my Lord and Father that each and every day he has opened my heart to simple joys!
"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well feed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phillipians 4:11-13"
I am blessed with SIMPLE JOY!
The Lord spoke to me this weekend about a special joy...SIMPLE JOY! How many of us have the honor and priviledge of experiencing plain old simple joy? I have and I do and the Lord would like all of us to experience this gift He brings to us. Simple joy is just that. It is that same joy you feel when something big and important happens but simple joy can come along with the things in life that don't have alot of fanfare, glitz, drama. This kind of joy comes from being happy in life and with life. It is a joy that acknowleges that every minute of every day is a gift...a gift from the Father to us. Simply joy comes from being able to slow down and experience what is important in this life. It is a joy that comes from recognizing that ALL things come from our Lord and that we are not the masters of this world but that God is in control of all things.
Simple joy is excitement upon seeing the first hummingbird at the feeder in the spring, making popcorn for family TV night, getting or giving a hug from or to someone, singing 70's tunes with your children, digging the weeds out of the garden, people watching while eating an ice cream cone on Main Street, listening to the purrs of your kitten. These are some of the simple joys in life.
I am blessed with experiencing the hand of God upon myself and my family. I am honored and privileged that my Saviour has heaped so many blessings upon me and my family. I want to see God's majesty around me and not be too busy and let it pass by me. And I thank my Lord and Father that each and every day he has opened my heart to simple joys!
"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well feed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phillipians 4:11-13"
I am blessed with SIMPLE JOY!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Two or more at Lent
I have noticed that many, as in people, are writing insightful pieces having to do with prayer and Lent. In the past, I have always tried to put together a plan to pray, fast, and hopefuly enter the Easter season closer to God and with a little more spiritual growth than the last year. And I, like most of you, have struggled with the praying, fasting and reflecting. Over the course of my adult life, I have read many articles in books, blogs, church bulletins and newsletters that have all sorts of great thoughts and approaches to having deeper and more committed prayer time. And I, like most of you, have struggled with finding time (and being able to concentrate) on my prayers. And, even with the best intentions, Friday after Friday seem to spring up on me and I haven't done a whole lot of meaningful prayer.
I don't have any insightful thoughts or mind-altering tidbits...I just have some testimony from the past couple years. If you don't know already the past three years have been altering for me. My daughter was hit head-on by a pickup truck in the spring of 2007. They fire dept. had to cut her out of her car with the jaw-of-life. She suffered a major bone break in her foot..her foot will always hamper her. Three months later, she was taken into emergence surgery for some tumor like growths that caused her ovaries to twist. She was experiencing pain and nausea since the accident so the doctors misdiagnosed her, changing her medications and such, thus missing these fast growing tumors until they had become life threatening. Then six months later, she was in an accident on a country road, late at night, and thrown from a big truck. A deer ran out in front her boyfriend's pick-up truck and he lost control. She was thrown from the truck, covered in a six-foot ditch by trees, had to be helicoptered to a trauma hospital, endured 7 + hours of surgery with nine teams of doctors, and wasn't expected to live. We spent months in the hospital, then rehab, then home and during this recovery my husband lost his job twice, of course losing health benefits. Oh, and did I tell you that around the same time as my daughter's first accident, I was having ALOT of migraines and due to that I burned up all the serotonin in my body. The result of that was a loss of energy, memory...mainly you can't function until you build back the serotonin..(you can read more on the post "Suffering but not Separated" March 19,2008). And how is all this related to Lent..to prayer?! I will tell you.
I had always tried to be faithful to having a personal prayer time in the mornings which was good. But, God showed me GREAT! Right after my daughter's first accident, a good friend started coming over to my house and we started praying TOGETHER. "Hear the supplications of your servant and of your people Israel when they pray.." 2 Chronicles
6:21. We would first talk about what prayer needs were on our hearts focusing on our children and husbands. Next, we would open our bibles and the Lord would show us a scripture. Then we would begin to pray...starting with acknowledgment of God's power and reign over us, moving into a time of thanking Him and recounting our blessings and following that with a time of confession. The last part was giving God our petitions. Here is the testimony...the walls of this house shook with the presence of our Almighty. "And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness" Acts 4:31. It wasn't because of the lists of requests, it wasn't because of the order of prayer, it wasn't about the scripture, though all played a part. This house shook because there was more than one of us! Even though we had requests that we intended to bring to the Lord, when we started praying the Holy Spirit took over and spoke for us and through us. It was never my words that acknowledged the almighty power of God, it was the Holy Spirit through me. It was never my words that thanked my Father for all the blessings poured down upon me, it was the Holy Spirit speaking through me..speaking what was deep in my heart. The confessions were not me or my prayer partner, they were the Holy Spirit looking deep into my heart and bringing all into the light. And the requests...I stopped writing them down...the Holy Spirit knew what needed to be petitioned and those are the requests that tumbled from my lips. These prayer sessions were deep, powerful, real, and beyond me. "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express". Romans 8:26
God made himself present to me and my partner in a life changing way. He built my faith, illuminate my failings, bathed me in forgiveness and poured out his mercy. I truly believe that the night my daughter lay fighting for life in that ditch, there was a spiritual war taking place. And due to the prayers that had been prayed by "TWO OR MORE" she is here today, walking, talking, working, playing, living life! Then again, last fall, another friend and I started doing the same..praying several times a week. Again, my house shook from top to bottom. At times, we would be praying over an hour and not even realize how much time had passed. We would weep and laugh, become bold and authoritative, pour out our hearts and hear the Lord give us words of direction, encouragement, and love. He showed us the power in "TWO OR MORE" gathered together to pray. During these months of prayer with a partner, I have seen so much happen in both our lives and seen much of God's power at work. God has shown me that there is something special in praying with someone. God has blessed my partners, the people we have prayed for, and myself.
So, maybe this Lent, you will call a sibling, a friend, a neighbor and step out together in prayer to see what new heights the Lord can stretch you to!
I don't have any insightful thoughts or mind-altering tidbits...I just have some testimony from the past couple years. If you don't know already the past three years have been altering for me. My daughter was hit head-on by a pickup truck in the spring of 2007. They fire dept. had to cut her out of her car with the jaw-of-life. She suffered a major bone break in her foot..her foot will always hamper her. Three months later, she was taken into emergence surgery for some tumor like growths that caused her ovaries to twist. She was experiencing pain and nausea since the accident so the doctors misdiagnosed her, changing her medications and such, thus missing these fast growing tumors until they had become life threatening. Then six months later, she was in an accident on a country road, late at night, and thrown from a big truck. A deer ran out in front her boyfriend's pick-up truck and he lost control. She was thrown from the truck, covered in a six-foot ditch by trees, had to be helicoptered to a trauma hospital, endured 7 + hours of surgery with nine teams of doctors, and wasn't expected to live. We spent months in the hospital, then rehab, then home and during this recovery my husband lost his job twice, of course losing health benefits. Oh, and did I tell you that around the same time as my daughter's first accident, I was having ALOT of migraines and due to that I burned up all the serotonin in my body. The result of that was a loss of energy, memory...mainly you can't function until you build back the serotonin..(you can read more on the post "Suffering but not Separated" March 19,2008). And how is all this related to Lent..to prayer?! I will tell you.
I had always tried to be faithful to having a personal prayer time in the mornings which was good. But, God showed me GREAT! Right after my daughter's first accident, a good friend started coming over to my house and we started praying TOGETHER. "Hear the supplications of your servant and of your people Israel when they pray.." 2 Chronicles
6:21. We would first talk about what prayer needs were on our hearts focusing on our children and husbands. Next, we would open our bibles and the Lord would show us a scripture. Then we would begin to pray...starting with acknowledgment of God's power and reign over us, moving into a time of thanking Him and recounting our blessings and following that with a time of confession. The last part was giving God our petitions. Here is the testimony...the walls of this house shook with the presence of our Almighty. "And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness" Acts 4:31. It wasn't because of the lists of requests, it wasn't because of the order of prayer, it wasn't about the scripture, though all played a part. This house shook because there was more than one of us! Even though we had requests that we intended to bring to the Lord, when we started praying the Holy Spirit took over and spoke for us and through us. It was never my words that acknowledged the almighty power of God, it was the Holy Spirit through me. It was never my words that thanked my Father for all the blessings poured down upon me, it was the Holy Spirit speaking through me..speaking what was deep in my heart. The confessions were not me or my prayer partner, they were the Holy Spirit looking deep into my heart and bringing all into the light. And the requests...I stopped writing them down...the Holy Spirit knew what needed to be petitioned and those are the requests that tumbled from my lips. These prayer sessions were deep, powerful, real, and beyond me. "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express". Romans 8:26God made himself present to me and my partner in a life changing way. He built my faith, illuminate my failings, bathed me in forgiveness and poured out his mercy. I truly believe that the night my daughter lay fighting for life in that ditch, there was a spiritual war taking place. And due to the prayers that had been prayed by "TWO OR MORE" she is here today, walking, talking, working, playing, living life! Then again, last fall, another friend and I started doing the same..praying several times a week. Again, my house shook from top to bottom. At times, we would be praying over an hour and not even realize how much time had passed. We would weep and laugh, become bold and authoritative, pour out our hearts and hear the Lord give us words of direction, encouragement, and love. He showed us the power in "TWO OR MORE" gathered together to pray. During these months of prayer with a partner, I have seen so much happen in both our lives and seen much of God's power at work. God has shown me that there is something special in praying with someone. God has blessed my partners, the people we have prayed for, and myself.
So, maybe this Lent, you will call a sibling, a friend, a neighbor and step out together in prayer to see what new heights the Lord can stretch you to!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Apart
My niece got married Saturday evening. It was a beautiful wedding and the bride was a vision to behold. And the groom...if he was any happier we would have had to tie him down so he didn't float away. Yet, for me the wedding was bittersweet. My darling niece is thirty years old and has lived in the same general area as I for all her life. She was my baby for 4 years before I had my first baby. I love her so much and feel like she is one of my own. But the young man she married lives in Florida, about 7 hours away.
When I went to give her a farewell hug, I was overcome with emotion. All I could do was quietly weep and hold her tight. I felt such a separation, such a loss. In the dark as we drove home I began to think about the love I have for this young woman in comparision to the love God has for me. How many times have I put distance between me and the one who loves me so very much? How must my Lord's heart break and how many tears has he shed? How many times have I traveled a journey away from my Lord and He had to suffer and endure the feeling of separation and loss from me, one of his children, when it wasn't necessary? If my Father loves me infinitly more than we can love, then when I choose not to be in tune with him how he must suffer. I am now sure my God weeps for me and wants to hold on tightly to me.
It is okay for my niece to start a new life in another town with the man God has called her to unite with...but it is not alright for me to move away from the presence and company of my Saviour. Every day, every hour, every minute I need to be one with the Lord...I need to have no distance, no separation between me and my father. I need him to hold me tight not for a goodbye but for now, today, tomorrow and forever! "But you, beloved, building yourself up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life." Jude 1:21.
Thank you ,my darling, for bringing joy and love into my life. I am so proud of you and will pray for you (as I always have) and for that great new husband of yours.
When I went to give her a farewell hug, I was overcome with emotion. All I could do was quietly weep and hold her tight. I felt such a separation, such a loss. In the dark as we drove home I began to think about the love I have for this young woman in comparision to the love God has for me. How many times have I put distance between me and the one who loves me so very much? How must my Lord's heart break and how many tears has he shed? How many times have I traveled a journey away from my Lord and He had to suffer and endure the feeling of separation and loss from me, one of his children, when it wasn't necessary? If my Father loves me infinitly more than we can love, then when I choose not to be in tune with him how he must suffer. I am now sure my God weeps for me and wants to hold on tightly to me.
It is okay for my niece to start a new life in another town with the man God has called her to unite with...but it is not alright for me to move away from the presence and company of my Saviour. Every day, every hour, every minute I need to be one with the Lord...I need to have no distance, no separation between me and my father. I need him to hold me tight not for a goodbye but for now, today, tomorrow and forever! "But you, beloved, building yourself up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life." Jude 1:21.
Thank you ,my darling, for bringing joy and love into my life. I am so proud of you and will pray for you (as I always have) and for that great new husband of yours.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Whiter than snow
We had a significant snowfall this past weekend as did most of the south. I awoke Saturday morning to see the wonderous sight of around six inches of freshly-fallen, undisturbed, bright white snow. The trees hung over bathed in dazzling, bright-white arches. The pasture, out my window, was one blinding carpet of luscious white. As the sun rose, it's rays kissed the blanket of white and it reflected so much light it was blinding.
This Saturday, in those quiet still morning hours, I thought about this from God's word,..."Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7.
I could clearly see how important this promise from my Father is. When we are truly sorry for the sins we have committed, our loving father as we know, forgives us. And that forgiveness is whole...it is complete. He forgives us but doesn't stop there. He washes away every single speck of dirt and we have the honor and privilege of being cleansed..cleaned until we are "as white as snow". He washes away the ugly, dirty sin and we are left bright, shinning, illluminated. God restores us...we are fresh, bright, untouched, pure.
Did you get snow sometime this past weekend or sometime this winter? If you were privileged enough to look out your window and see a blanket of beautiful blazing white carpet then maybe you thought of this promise too. But, if you haven't had the privilege of see this glorious work of His hands don't feel left out...our Father's promise of "washing us whiter than snow" is for everyone of us no matter what the weather does or doesn't do!
This Saturday, in those quiet still morning hours, I thought about this from God's word,..."Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7.
I could clearly see how important this promise from my Father is. When we are truly sorry for the sins we have committed, our loving father as we know, forgives us. And that forgiveness is whole...it is complete. He forgives us but doesn't stop there. He washes away every single speck of dirt and we have the honor and privilege of being cleansed..cleaned until we are "as white as snow". He washes away the ugly, dirty sin and we are left bright, shinning, illluminated. God restores us...we are fresh, bright, untouched, pure.
Did you get snow sometime this past weekend or sometime this winter? If you were privileged enough to look out your window and see a blanket of beautiful blazing white carpet then maybe you thought of this promise too. But, if you haven't had the privilege of see this glorious work of His hands don't feel left out...our Father's promise of "washing us whiter than snow" is for everyone of us no matter what the weather does or doesn't do!
Monday, June 08, 2009
My Saint Thomas
I am currently reading a book entitled, Saying “Yes” to God. I have found many nuggets of inspiration, truth, and encouragement in this easy to read book. Simply put this is the message… when you let go of yourself and wholeheartedly embrace obedience to …say “YES!” to Him, you will discover the blessings God has planned for you and your life will be transformed into a remarkable journey. Sounds so easy but yet for so many of us it is so hard. When we find someone who has wholeheartedly honored God’s presence in their lives it truly is a testimony and an inspiration to us and ignites our desire for this same kind of life-changing results in our life and also our passion for our God!
When Amanda was in the hospital God blessed me over and over with gifts of these kinds of people coming into my life…”okay God, put the frying pan away! My head isn’t that hard…I see the example of what you desire of me!” There is one person during that time that was radically obedient to God, and it is him, in particular I would like to share with you. I call him Saint Thomas.
Saint Thomas is a man that lived down the street from my mom and dad while I was pregnant with Amanda. My family has known him for probably 20 years and we love him dearly. I have always felt a special connection to him. He has always been a very good friend to my dad and quite the joker. My dad and Tom have spent a quarter of a century playing practical jokes on one another. I have always loved him for the joy, laughter, and friendship he has brought to my mom and dad. We see him around but are not in the habit of telephoning or note writing, but would stop in a store or restaurant and give a hug and catch up on friendly news. His wife was a member of my dad’s church and also taught Amanda in a little preschool there when she was 4 yr. old. Tom has grown children and they are also grandparents. He owns his own business and works very hard and is a very busy guy.
Regardless of how busy, how much responsibility he had, how inconvient it was for him, how much sleep he was losing, he made a choice to sacrifice many things for us when we were in ICU during Amanda’s accident. He chose to get up every weekday morning, get dressed, ride across town, stop at McDonalds, order biscuits and coffee, drive to the hospital, park in the parking deck, and bring myself and my family breakfast by 6 a.m. He gave of his time to bring us breakfast and hot coffee. He also always paid for everything he brought to us no matter no much and for how many people. And if that wasn’t enough, he had to play psychiatrist, “But if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, then chose today whom you will serve…as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. You see, when you are in the hospital, the demons really seem to come out at night. The nights are long and hard and lonely, and it always seems that some kind of crisis comes about. There is pain that you can’t get control of, or Amanda’s fever would spike, or a lung would collapse, or her heart would act up (they had to resuscitate her 2 times)…things just fall apart at night. And of course, the doctors aren’t around like they are during the day…they do have a life! Every incident seems to be magnified if it happens during the night and it just adds to the stress and exhaustion.
It would be these early hours of the morning, when usually the first comforting face I would see would be Saint Tom’s. He would hand over breakfast and coffee and ask how the night went and then would start therapy! All the fears, stress, and tension of the long before would come tumbling out, “The Lord will redeem those who serve him. Everyone who trusts in him will be freely pardoned.” Psalm 34:22
He would have to wear the hat of friend, father, psychiatrist, priest, doctor and comforter in those early morning hours and I’m not sure that is what he signed up for. But, I am telling you from the heart that I don’t believe I could have remained sane if it hadn’t been for my Saint Tom! “The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.” Isaiah 50:4. Saint Thomas was a great listener, kind, compassionate, loving and most of all patient. During those long days and nights while Amanda was in ICU, I was like a little baby whose legs where too weak to hold them up. I needed to be held up and carried for a short while. My Saint Tom chose to be Jesus’ arms for me. “In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. Isaiah 63:9
Through his service, Saint Tom brought me encouragement, comfort, healing, and faith. He was an example to me, he was able to “let his light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. He did a great service for me but more than that he laid before me and others an example of being Christ like…he helped me further my walk with the Lord. “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” 1 Corinthians 15:58. This one humble man thus was a Saint to me and I thank him for all he did for me and I know he earned many jewels in his crown. I will be quicker to extend myself in service to others and pray that I ears will always be open to the whisper of God’s voice to serve, that my heart will be full of love for others so I don’t miss a beat in accepting service, and that my feet will walk in the steps of Jesus to go anywhere to love and serve others!
“As a fellow elder, this is my appeal to you: Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.” 1 Peter: 1-2
When Amanda was in the hospital God blessed me over and over with gifts of these kinds of people coming into my life…”okay God, put the frying pan away! My head isn’t that hard…I see the example of what you desire of me!” There is one person during that time that was radically obedient to God, and it is him, in particular I would like to share with you. I call him Saint Thomas.
Saint Thomas is a man that lived down the street from my mom and dad while I was pregnant with Amanda. My family has known him for probably 20 years and we love him dearly. I have always felt a special connection to him. He has always been a very good friend to my dad and quite the joker. My dad and Tom have spent a quarter of a century playing practical jokes on one another. I have always loved him for the joy, laughter, and friendship he has brought to my mom and dad. We see him around but are not in the habit of telephoning or note writing, but would stop in a store or restaurant and give a hug and catch up on friendly news. His wife was a member of my dad’s church and also taught Amanda in a little preschool there when she was 4 yr. old. Tom has grown children and they are also grandparents. He owns his own business and works very hard and is a very busy guy.
Regardless of how busy, how much responsibility he had, how inconvient it was for him, how much sleep he was losing, he made a choice to sacrifice many things for us when we were in ICU during Amanda’s accident. He chose to get up every weekday morning, get dressed, ride across town, stop at McDonalds, order biscuits and coffee, drive to the hospital, park in the parking deck, and bring myself and my family breakfast by 6 a.m. He gave of his time to bring us breakfast and hot coffee. He also always paid for everything he brought to us no matter no much and for how many people. And if that wasn’t enough, he had to play psychiatrist, “But if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, then chose today whom you will serve…as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. You see, when you are in the hospital, the demons really seem to come out at night. The nights are long and hard and lonely, and it always seems that some kind of crisis comes about. There is pain that you can’t get control of, or Amanda’s fever would spike, or a lung would collapse, or her heart would act up (they had to resuscitate her 2 times)…things just fall apart at night. And of course, the doctors aren’t around like they are during the day…they do have a life! Every incident seems to be magnified if it happens during the night and it just adds to the stress and exhaustion.
It would be these early hours of the morning, when usually the first comforting face I would see would be Saint Tom’s. He would hand over breakfast and coffee and ask how the night went and then would start therapy! All the fears, stress, and tension of the long before would come tumbling out, “The Lord will redeem those who serve him. Everyone who trusts in him will be freely pardoned.” Psalm 34:22
He would have to wear the hat of friend, father, psychiatrist, priest, doctor and comforter in those early morning hours and I’m not sure that is what he signed up for. But, I am telling you from the heart that I don’t believe I could have remained sane if it hadn’t been for my Saint Tom! “The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.” Isaiah 50:4. Saint Thomas was a great listener, kind, compassionate, loving and most of all patient. During those long days and nights while Amanda was in ICU, I was like a little baby whose legs where too weak to hold them up. I needed to be held up and carried for a short while. My Saint Tom chose to be Jesus’ arms for me. “In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. Isaiah 63:9
Through his service, Saint Tom brought me encouragement, comfort, healing, and faith. He was an example to me, he was able to “let his light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. He did a great service for me but more than that he laid before me and others an example of being Christ like…he helped me further my walk with the Lord. “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” 1 Corinthians 15:58. This one humble man thus was a Saint to me and I thank him for all he did for me and I know he earned many jewels in his crown. I will be quicker to extend myself in service to others and pray that I ears will always be open to the whisper of God’s voice to serve, that my heart will be full of love for others so I don’t miss a beat in accepting service, and that my feet will walk in the steps of Jesus to go anywhere to love and serve others!
“As a fellow elder, this is my appeal to you: Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.” 1 Peter: 1-2
Monday, June 01, 2009
Billowing smoke
Yesterday, I was looking out the wind and noticed my yard engulfed in a haze of smoke. My husband was mowing the yard when the mower started acting up. Russell stopped to do maintenance on it. He had to turn it over which caused the oil to be distributed to areas the oil was not to go into...thus the billowing smoke! Russell was determined though to get the rest of the mowing completed and it was a pretty comical site...that big figure emerging through the smoke and and yet reemerging because where he and the mower went the smoke went!
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friends
My daughter’s seven month old puppy, who resides at her boyfriend’s farm (they have joint custody), was involved in an accident Tuesday night. His pelvis was injured, which is really ironic…our daughter was injured at night, at the same place, and one of her significant injuries is her pelvis. Anyway, Wednesday morning Bo had to have surgery, stayed overnight at the vets and yesterday we brought him home to our farm to take care of him.
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Making us into something better
As the mom and child walked through the garden, they spied a little cocoon. Upon closer observation, they noticed it wiggling and rolling with an unborn butterfly inside trying to break through the cocoon to greet the world outside.
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Saturday, December 20, 2008
One Bright Star
One bright star that led them to the greatest gift of all...Christmas is almost here!
As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.
I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.
Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.
This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!
Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!
Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.
I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!
Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.
At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!
Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina
As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.
I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.
Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.
This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!
Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!
Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.
I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!
Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.
At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!
Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Belonging to Many
Amanda, her dad and I were at the hospital for an appointment with Amanda’s shock trauma doctor. As we were sitting in the waiting area, just separated by the hospital hallway by an archway, I heard a woman’s voice call out my name. To my pleasant surprise it was Miss Jackie, the secretary from the operating room at the hospital. Miss Jackie was one of those people who knew all that Amanda had been through. She was the first one we would see every time we had to come down to the operating room which was about a dozen or so times. Miss Jackie was the person who placed us in a cubby hole or “holding” as they call it…the last step to the operating room. She always knew what Amanda was having done and because Miss Jackie worked in the OR she pretty much knew Amanda’s condition. She always would smile at me; tell me the best team was ready to go, and that her and her whole church was praying for Amanda.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Preparing the way
In those dark hours the first few days of my daughter Amanda's accident I was told a story....
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Not Just a Number!
I have a thing about hair. I have always wanted and kept long hair, enjoyed all the ways you can style and wear long hair, and even enjoy caring and brushing my hair.
When I first met my husband he had long, dark, thick hair (he has some Cherokee Indian genes). I was envious of how thick and dark his hair was. My daughter was born with a head full of her daddy's dark hair. As she grew, it took on a beautiful auburn red color with sparkling gold highlights when the sun hit it as if it was dusted with gold....thick and beautiful! My son's hair got much attention from me also but for the opposite reason. He was born bald and it wasn't until about 2 years of age that he grew any hair. But when he did it was the cutest blonde curls you could imagine. Not exactly boyish but remember he was a toddler. I loved those curls and couldn't keep my hands from stroking those little curls that covered that head!
Over the past year God has been helping me to dealing with totally putting my trust in him. Most of you know that this year has been a real test for me and my family...my daughter in April of 2007 was hit head-on in her car, then in July of 2007 she had to have emergency surgery, and then again she was in a devastating truck accident, that almost took her life, this January. My son works on two fire departments and is in EMT school, and my husband, who hasn't been without a job since he was 14 years old, has been laid off twice in the last 2 years! Yes, God is doing something in our lives and we are either going to sink or swim and we are swimming like crazy right now!
Anyway, God reminded me of this very small scripture in the book of Matthew but it shouted out to me. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31
God knows of everything that happens even to the sparrows and he tells us that we are much more important than they are. We are of so much value to him that he knows the number of every hair on our heads! WOW! Because God places such worth, such value on us we should never fear difficult trials. These can't turn God's love from us.
When I first met my husband he had long, dark, thick hair (he has some Cherokee Indian genes). I was envious of how thick and dark his hair was. My daughter was born with a head full of her daddy's dark hair. As she grew, it took on a beautiful auburn red color with sparkling gold highlights when the sun hit it as if it was dusted with gold....thick and beautiful! My son's hair got much attention from me also but for the opposite reason. He was born bald and it wasn't until about 2 years of age that he grew any hair. But when he did it was the cutest blonde curls you could imagine. Not exactly boyish but remember he was a toddler. I loved those curls and couldn't keep my hands from stroking those little curls that covered that head!
Over the past year God has been helping me to dealing with totally putting my trust in him. Most of you know that this year has been a real test for me and my family...my daughter in April of 2007 was hit head-on in her car, then in July of 2007 she had to have emergency surgery, and then again she was in a devastating truck accident, that almost took her life, this January. My son works on two fire departments and is in EMT school, and my husband, who hasn't been without a job since he was 14 years old, has been laid off twice in the last 2 years! Yes, God is doing something in our lives and we are either going to sink or swim and we are swimming like crazy right now!
Anyway, God reminded me of this very small scripture in the book of Matthew but it shouted out to me. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31
God knows of everything that happens even to the sparrows and he tells us that we are much more important than they are. We are of so much value to him that he knows the number of every hair on our heads! WOW! Because God places such worth, such value on us we should never fear difficult trials. These can't turn God's love from us.
The next time you run your hand through your hair or run your hand through the hair of your family member, the next time you brush your child's hair, or fix your husband's unruly locks, turn your eyes up toward the Father and thank him for having all those hairs numbered...for that is not just a number...that is a heap of love, worth, and protection!
"This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it--the Lord is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:2-3Saturday, March 22, 2008
From broken to joyous...
Today in the life of the church is the Easter Vigil. What a difference today must of been for the disciples after the shock and grief over the death of their beloved Savior.
Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".
God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).
Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.
And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.
I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Happy Easter to you all!
Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".
God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).
Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.
And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.
I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Happy Easter to you all!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Suffering but not separated...
God has moved me to take the time to quietly sit down and once again share with all of you what HE has laid upon my heart.
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Radiant Faces
This past Sunday, I was a visitor at a little country church. In the traditional manner, at a Roman Catholic church, most of the people were on their knees praying. What I observed, though, caused me to pause. Their body language spoke of anguish, pain, suffering. They were very bent over, had their hands covering their faces or either had their heads in their hands. Don’t misunderstand what I am trying to convey. It is not wrong to be reverent…to pour out your heart to the Lord…to be lost in prayer with Him. I am positive that these people were praying heartfelt, sincere prayers and listening to the voice of God. I am not judging them, or saying that I think they were doing anything wrong, it was just something that I noticed. It just struck me and, I must admit, my first thought was how sad they looked in contrast to how happy I was to be sitting there. I find myself smiling a lot in church, even though I have had the occasional time I probably looked a lot like they looked…I love being in church! I feel lifted up by my church family, happy to be giving my time to my Lord, and I feel His presence in a special way at church.
What I observed Sunday, came back to mind again yesterday. My friend and I pray every Tuesday afternoon (a part of the Mom In Touch International) for our children. We pray for a solid hour, deep in prayer, lost in the Holy Spirit. But every Tuesday, when we finish praying and open our eyes we are smiling! As we grinned at each other yesterday and uttered the words that always seem to jump from our lips “that was awesome!”, the imagery of Sunday came back to mind.
Today, I opened my devotion book and the scripture to read was Exodus 34:29-35. That is the scripture on “The Radiant Face of Moses”. God is telling me something! It starts out…”When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord”. Exodus 34:29. Then in the next verse, “When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant…”. Exodus 34:30. And again in verse 35…”And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, they saw that his face was radiant.”
Moses’ face was radiant after he spent time with God. The people around him could clearly see God’s presence within him. We have Christ within us and since he is in us, our faces can reflect Christ. Remember in the book of Matthew, the transfiguration of Jesus….”There he (Jesus) was transfigured before them (Peter, James, and John). His face shone like the sun…” Matthew 17:2. I know that every prayer time with God will not produce a face that can light up a room. Reverence, solemnity, piety and veneration are very holy…they are show our devotion, our holiness…they are a form of worshipping our Father. Our time meditating, praying, and sitting in God’s presence should have such an effect on our lives that people will know we have been with God, that the risen Lord is dwelling within us.
So, if you see a “radiant face” or a “face shinning like the sun” don’t assume that that person’s life is perfect, that they have no trials or tribulations, or that they have it all together. Instead, recognize that that person is a sinner just like you or I, that they have problems and stress just like you and I, and they are covered by the blood of Jesus just like you and I. But they probably and consistently are praying and meditating and sitting in the presence of God and it is our Lord’s presence within them that is making their “face shine like the sun”!
What I observed Sunday, came back to mind again yesterday. My friend and I pray every Tuesday afternoon (a part of the Mom In Touch International) for our children. We pray for a solid hour, deep in prayer, lost in the Holy Spirit. But every Tuesday, when we finish praying and open our eyes we are smiling! As we grinned at each other yesterday and uttered the words that always seem to jump from our lips “that was awesome!”, the imagery of Sunday came back to mind.
Today, I opened my devotion book and the scripture to read was Exodus 34:29-35. That is the scripture on “The Radiant Face of Moses”. God is telling me something! It starts out…”When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord”. Exodus 34:29. Then in the next verse, “When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant…”. Exodus 34:30. And again in verse 35…”And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, they saw that his face was radiant.”
Moses’ face was radiant after he spent time with God. The people around him could clearly see God’s presence within him. We have Christ within us and since he is in us, our faces can reflect Christ. Remember in the book of Matthew, the transfiguration of Jesus….”There he (Jesus) was transfigured before them (Peter, James, and John). His face shone like the sun…” Matthew 17:2. I know that every prayer time with God will not produce a face that can light up a room. Reverence, solemnity, piety and veneration are very holy…they are show our devotion, our holiness…they are a form of worshipping our Father. Our time meditating, praying, and sitting in God’s presence should have such an effect on our lives that people will know we have been with God, that the risen Lord is dwelling within us.
So, if you see a “radiant face” or a “face shinning like the sun” don’t assume that that person’s life is perfect, that they have no trials or tribulations, or that they have it all together. Instead, recognize that that person is a sinner just like you or I, that they have problems and stress just like you and I, and they are covered by the blood of Jesus just like you and I. But they probably and consistently are praying and meditating and sitting in the presence of God and it is our Lord’s presence within them that is making their “face shine like the sun”!
Friday, July 27, 2007
FUN FRIDAY!
How well do you know the meanings of the names in the BIBLE? After taking this I realized I didn't know very much at all on this topic...so you give it a try! The answers will be printed at the bottom of this post.
1: Who was blessed with laughter when her son was born, and named him accordingly? Sarah...Rachel...Leah...Rebekah
2: What does the name "Adam" mean? man, or blue sky....man, or red earth...man, or green grass...man, or rocks of earth
3: When Naomi retured to Bethlehem, to what name, meaning "bitterness", did she change her name? Sarah...Mary...Hannah...Mara
4: Whose name means "my judge is God"? Samuel...Daniel...Ezekiel...Jaaziel
5: Which of Jesus' titles means "the anointed"? Lord...Jesus...Emmanuel...Christ
6: What does the name "Elisha" mean? my God is faithful.....my God is salvation...my God is king...my God is joyful
7: Which disciple's name means "manly"? Peter...James...Andrew...Matthew
8: Which man's name changed from meaning "requested" to meaning "little"? Abraham...Jacob...Peter...Paul
9: What does the prefix "Bar" mean in a name? son of...house of...tree of...light of...
10: Which king had a name which means "healer"? Josiah...Asa...Soloman...Jereboam
Next Friday I will post 10 new questions so study up!
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
Today is four weeks since my daughter's surgery...she is healing fine and we can finally laugh a little. Here are ten things you hope never to hear in surgery...in celebration have a laugh!
Answer to brain teaser: There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
1: Who was blessed with laughter when her son was born, and named him accordingly? Sarah...Rachel...Leah...Rebekah
2: What does the name "Adam" mean? man, or blue sky....man, or red earth...man, or green grass...man, or rocks of earth
3: When Naomi retured to Bethlehem, to what name, meaning "bitterness", did she change her name? Sarah...Mary...Hannah...Mara
4: Whose name means "my judge is God"? Samuel...Daniel...Ezekiel...Jaaziel
5: Which of Jesus' titles means "the anointed"? Lord...Jesus...Emmanuel...Christ
6: What does the name "Elisha" mean? my God is faithful.....my God is salvation...my God is king...my God is joyful
7: Which disciple's name means "manly"? Peter...James...Andrew...Matthew
8: Which man's name changed from meaning "requested" to meaning "little"? Abraham...Jacob...Peter...Paul
9: What does the prefix "Bar" mean in a name? son of...house of...tree of...light of...
10: Which king had a name which means "healer"? Josiah...Asa...Soloman...Jereboam
Next Friday I will post 10 new questions so study up!
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
Today is four weeks since my daughter's surgery...she is healing fine and we can finally laugh a little. Here are ten things you hope never to hear in surgery...in celebration have a laugh!
- What's this doing in here?
- DARN! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
- You sure it wasn't this leg?
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- There go the lights again...
Here's a brain teaser...
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the ' F' s in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again. The answer is at the bottom.
Answers: 1. Sarah 2. man, red earth 3. Mara 4. Daniel 5. Christ 6. God is salvation 7. Andrew 8. Paul 9. son of 10. Asa
Answer to brain teaser: There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Being Pursued
As a woman, and a romantic at heart, I love the idea of a man pursuing a woman. The definition of pursue…”to follow, to seek, to find, to chase”. When I was young the thought of a young man seeking me and then chasing me was something right out of movies like “An Affair to Remember”. I was pursued some 30 years ago by a very handsome young man who caught me so that special kind of pursuit, for me, is over.
But I was thinking yesterday that I have been being pursued… pursued every single day, every single hour, every single minute of my whole life. I have a God in heaven that pursues me every second of this life. My God is following me, he is seeking me, and yes, he has chased me! He is relentless, focused, and unwavering in his want to “catch” me. He has put his whole being into me…even more than that…he even gave his only son in pursuit of me. In contrast to some 30 years ago, this pursuit doesn’t matter if I’m charming or beautiful...if I have social skills or status. To this holy pursuer it doesn’t matter whether I make mistake or make all the right steps in life. I still get pursued! His constancy, his devotion in pursuit of me is always and forever.
That takes me to a hard look at myself and my pursuit of my God and King. Is my pursuit of my Lord and Saviour aggressive? Am I seeking a relationship with him unceasingly? Do I him follow him relentlessly? Is my pursuit of being one with him focused and unwavering?
Take this little test and see how you would rate as a “pursuer” of our Heavenly Father. The great news is however we rate ourselves it doesn’t matter to our God….we will still be pursued. He is so enamoured with us that he will continue to pursue us despite anything we have done or haven’t done…whether we are on the social register or homeless…whether we are beautiful or need plastic surgery…whether we welcome him or push him away. What a love story! Looks like tomorrow I’ll be pursuing my Saviour in a whole new way…focused, unceasing, aggressive. What about you?
But I was thinking yesterday that I have been being pursued… pursued every single day, every single hour, every single minute of my whole life. I have a God in heaven that pursues me every second of this life. My God is following me, he is seeking me, and yes, he has chased me! He is relentless, focused, and unwavering in his want to “catch” me. He has put his whole being into me…even more than that…he even gave his only son in pursuit of me. In contrast to some 30 years ago, this pursuit doesn’t matter if I’m charming or beautiful...if I have social skills or status. To this holy pursuer it doesn’t matter whether I make mistake or make all the right steps in life. I still get pursued! His constancy, his devotion in pursuit of me is always and forever.
That takes me to a hard look at myself and my pursuit of my God and King. Is my pursuit of my Lord and Saviour aggressive? Am I seeking a relationship with him unceasingly? Do I him follow him relentlessly? Is my pursuit of being one with him focused and unwavering?
Take this little test and see how you would rate as a “pursuer” of our Heavenly Father. The great news is however we rate ourselves it doesn’t matter to our God….we will still be pursued. He is so enamoured with us that he will continue to pursue us despite anything we have done or haven’t done…whether we are on the social register or homeless…whether we are beautiful or need plastic surgery…whether we welcome him or push him away. What a love story! Looks like tomorrow I’ll be pursuing my Saviour in a whole new way…focused, unceasing, aggressive. What about you?
Monday, July 23, 2007
We all have times of testing!
Years ago, when I was in the midst of raising a young family, James Dobson was steadily rising in the ranks of "prominent, know-all authority" in child raising. I, like most of the young moms back then, read his books, listened to her talks on the radio, and discussed his thoughts with other moms. Listening, changing, and the desire to do the right thing has never been a problem for me. In my spiritual life I have never been rebellious... I have always been eager to listen to others and God about how to become closer to God...been willing to change because I long to please my Father...had a desire to love and serve Him to the best of my ability. But, I never thought I handled the trials and tribulations very well.
The problem, for me, was and is that I am a follower not a leader. I have the type of personality that wants someone to direct me...not in theory but literally. One of the things, to this day, that stands out for me was James Dobson telling us mothers "not to let our children throw a temper tantrum at the grocery store." This was a problem I was having at the time...grocery shopping being a war zone. It seemed like when we passed through the threshold of the grocery store we stepped right into another world...one of bad attitudes, disobedience, and general mayhem. We would have a "little talk" outside in the car but the end result was always the same...bad! I clearly remember talking with my girlfriends and asking," but how? If someone would just tell me exactly how not to let her pitch a fit I will do it!" I remember my mother coming to the rescue and answering my questions...not in theory but literally. I literally followed her advise and it worked!
At this point you might be saying, "where is all this dribble going?" I do have a point...My life over the last 2 years has been the hardest it has ever been. Have I handle the hard times well? It doesn't feel like I have. The trials of my life started 2 years ago with the end of homeschooling and the end of my identity as I have known it for the past 25 years. Then my husband was laid off and had to start all over again. Then I stepped out in faith and went to college, which is definitely not my comfort zone...and most recently my daughter's accident and then emergency surgery. I have struggled with loneliness, fear, confusion, shame and condemnation. Sometimes I have felt so worn down that I have almost given up. Did you hear me say almost! One of the questions asked when we go through times of testing is "where is my faith?" Actually, as long as we are hanging in there we are walking in faith (belief in something we can't see)...we are still talking (well maybe crying out) to God. We are laying ourselves at his feet. We are searching his word and asking our brothers and sisters for prayers. Almost doesn't mean anything! "I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to me because my hope is in him, to me because I seek him." But the devil is beside us whispering in our ears. He is telling us that we are doing everything wrong and nothing right. Our guard is put down and before long he has stirred up in us shame, confusion, loneliness and condemnation. I have been told over and over to give it all over to the Lord. But, for me being a follower, what does that mean?
The answer goes against everything we are taught in the world. We might not get immediate gratification...holy moley! We have to think of our trials as battles in a war. Before our soldiers go to war they have to go through training, get suited up, equip themselves with the tools to fight and then go into battle. Let me tell you this...battles are not won in a day! Even in today's world with all the sophisticated equipment, battles can be fought for days, months, years, and even centuries (look at Israel). Not every trial or problem in this life is solved immediately. Every feeling and emotion doesn't automatically come under control as soon as we offer up a prayer. It is a process...it is a battle and each one is fought and won in it's own time. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6". There is no Commander-in-Chief that has more power than our Commander-in-Chief, and every battle is eventually won under his leadership. In that we can put total trust. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. Keeping that in the forefront of our mind, we need to do the training, get suited up and equip ourselves to fight as long as we need to. Our Commander-in-Chief knows all, is in control, and is leading us even when we don't feel like we are being lead or even following very well.
All this isn't new revelation...we as Christians already know what I have just said but sometimes we need to hear it again, see it in print, be reminded of the truth. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. So being a follower instead of a leader let me put specifics down to help with the battle:
The problem, for me, was and is that I am a follower not a leader. I have the type of personality that wants someone to direct me...not in theory but literally. One of the things, to this day, that stands out for me was James Dobson telling us mothers "not to let our children throw a temper tantrum at the grocery store." This was a problem I was having at the time...grocery shopping being a war zone. It seemed like when we passed through the threshold of the grocery store we stepped right into another world...one of bad attitudes, disobedience, and general mayhem. We would have a "little talk" outside in the car but the end result was always the same...bad! I clearly remember talking with my girlfriends and asking," but how? If someone would just tell me exactly how not to let her pitch a fit I will do it!" I remember my mother coming to the rescue and answering my questions...not in theory but literally. I literally followed her advise and it worked!
At this point you might be saying, "where is all this dribble going?" I do have a point...My life over the last 2 years has been the hardest it has ever been. Have I handle the hard times well? It doesn't feel like I have. The trials of my life started 2 years ago with the end of homeschooling and the end of my identity as I have known it for the past 25 years. Then my husband was laid off and had to start all over again. Then I stepped out in faith and went to college, which is definitely not my comfort zone...and most recently my daughter's accident and then emergency surgery. I have struggled with loneliness, fear, confusion, shame and condemnation. Sometimes I have felt so worn down that I have almost given up. Did you hear me say almost! One of the questions asked when we go through times of testing is "where is my faith?" Actually, as long as we are hanging in there we are walking in faith (belief in something we can't see)...we are still talking (well maybe crying out) to God. We are laying ourselves at his feet. We are searching his word and asking our brothers and sisters for prayers. Almost doesn't mean anything! "I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to me because my hope is in him, to me because I seek him." But the devil is beside us whispering in our ears. He is telling us that we are doing everything wrong and nothing right. Our guard is put down and before long he has stirred up in us shame, confusion, loneliness and condemnation. I have been told over and over to give it all over to the Lord. But, for me being a follower, what does that mean?
The answer goes against everything we are taught in the world. We might not get immediate gratification...holy moley! We have to think of our trials as battles in a war. Before our soldiers go to war they have to go through training, get suited up, equip themselves with the tools to fight and then go into battle. Let me tell you this...battles are not won in a day! Even in today's world with all the sophisticated equipment, battles can be fought for days, months, years, and even centuries (look at Israel). Not every trial or problem in this life is solved immediately. Every feeling and emotion doesn't automatically come under control as soon as we offer up a prayer. It is a process...it is a battle and each one is fought and won in it's own time. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6". There is no Commander-in-Chief that has more power than our Commander-in-Chief, and every battle is eventually won under his leadership. In that we can put total trust. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. Keeping that in the forefront of our mind, we need to do the training, get suited up and equip ourselves to fight as long as we need to. Our Commander-in-Chief knows all, is in control, and is leading us even when we don't feel like we are being lead or even following very well.
All this isn't new revelation...we as Christians already know what I have just said but sometimes we need to hear it again, see it in print, be reminded of the truth. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. So being a follower instead of a leader let me put specifics down to help with the battle:
- Every single day confess your sins. Be real, even if it seems like it is the same sin day after day. Don't let Satan lie to you (like he does me) and tell you what a mess you are because you are having trouble battling an area of your life. Lack of confessing to God doesn't make fear, or shame, or condemnation go away, instead in confessing it, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES, shows how much we really need God's help and also how much we want his help. "But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I plead aloud in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He rescues me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, even though many still oppose me." Psalm 55:16-18.
- Do spiritual warfare. Using the name of Jesus, command Satan to leave your thoughts and stop playing with your emotions. Again, don't expect your thoughts and feelings to change overnight but keep waging the battle in the "name of Jesus". Pray that your ears will become deaf to the sound of his voice and that your emotions will be numbed to any evil attacks. Ask God to be in control of bringing HIS joy to your thoughts and emotions. As you recognize each lie replace it with truth. It might take some time to recognize the attacks (he comes as a wolf in sheep's clothing) but as soon as you clue in pray, sing, rejoice! Push him out!
- Read your bible...for me that was hard because as soon as I got quiet Satan seemed to enter my thoughts. It was hard to be still and not be distracted. Get a concordance and look up specific passages..protection, mercy, grace...look them up and then write them down. That was a help to me rather than just picking a book of the bible and trying to stay focused on reading it. The important thing is that you are bathing yourself in the bible, HIS word, God's truth. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
- Pray! Pray for strength, wisdom, protection, and growth. Pray for a deeper relationship with him and be sure to give over your will to him for his perfect will. As I sat in that doctor's office 3 weeks ago, and heard the doctor say that they might have to do a full hysterectomy on my only, single, 24-year-old daughter I honestly was able to put fear and control aside ask him to do his will. Oh, I asked him to have mercy and keep her body intact but I was really able to tell him that I would accept his will. I was able to tell God that I knew whatever happened He would be doing the best for her! Pray, pour out your heart to him. "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:1-3
- Do not isolate yourself. Spend time in the fellowship of other believers. Draw from their joy, their love, their faith. No matter what comes our way we need people, relationships, and companionship. Let the people around you encourage you, make you laugh, lift you up and give you break from the "serious life". "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25.
- And finally...bet you thought you would never get to the end!...exercise, eat well and get the proper amount of sleep. All studies show that in times of stress we need our to keep healthy to keep our stress levels under control. I know from personal experience that I come under more attack and have a harder time battling when I am worn down. Physical strength is important to spiritual strength.
This post is really, really long but I feel like the Lord has used my circumstances to help others and if I don't write about it then I will not be doing HIS will. I hope this post has been an encouragement or a help to someone. We all have or will pass through times of testing...each test for us unique to our makeup...what might not be a trial to one might be a very hard test for another. But whatever the trial is God knows about it, is with us, and will bring us through it stronger, wiser, and with more compassion for others. Let's help each other....FOR HIS GLORY AND FOR THE LIFE THAT IS ETERNAL.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thinking we are smarter and bigger than GOD!
I am going to be honest…I have a problem distinguishing between CONTROL and RESPONSIBILITY. In talking with other moms, I have found that I am not the only one out there that crosses the line from responsibility to control. In defense of “us” it is an easy trap to fall into. As moms we have to take responsibility for our children, the running of our homes, the family’s social agenda, and a whole lot more. From the time our children are babies we control almost everything in their lives….when and what they eat, where and who they play with, what they wear, when they sleep, when they awake, what they watch, read, and discuss….the list continues. We are being responsible moms.
As our children grow, the control is suppose to lessen but for most of us we find that very hard to do. One reason is because we have trained ourselves to micromanage the actions, words, and even thoughts of our children. We are not bad parents, we are human and take the responsibility of raising and caring for our children seriously. Here lies the problem…we begin operating under a false pretense, a false sense of security. We control because we want to keep the people and things around us healthy, happy, and safe. We fall into thinking that if everything and everyone is under our control, then life will be free from worry or pain. That is what happened to me during the last 13 weeks.
I needed to stick to just being a responsible parent…. Keeping her comfortable, getting her to the doctor’s appointments on time, doling out her medicines, keeping her on a healthy diet, taking care of the insurance needs, helping her deal with her school and teachers, etc. Instead I forgot who was in control…fooled myself into thinking it was me, which in turn brought me nothing but worry, anxiety, confusion, and depression. Isn’t it funny…did I really believe I was smarter than God…did I really believe I could control life better than God? To be honest again, I guess I did…but I couldn’t and can’t and will not ever be able to!
I have a responsibility as a mother and that responsibility is not to control but to release the control of my children into the hands of our wise and loving Father. I have a responsibility as their mother to pray for them, asking God to do his mighty work in them in ways I can’t imagine. I have a responsibility to pray for God’s protection and guidance over my children. I have the responsibility to pray that my children will recognize God’s great power at work in their lives….Ephesians 1:18-20, “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.”
There may be times when we need to lovingly suggest a change of course to our children or wisely petition against a dangerous decision. We can suggest, impart our wisdom, and be loving and caring but we need to leave the control and power to God! This has not been the first time in my life I have tried to take over God’s job and control things on this earth. And it probably won’t be the last time. But when I start to feel myself sliding down that slippery slope, trying to use my power to control the safety, the health, the happiness of my children, I will pray these words of encouragement that Paul gave to the Corinthian church:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 1 Corinthians 4: 6-9.
As our children grow, the control is suppose to lessen but for most of us we find that very hard to do. One reason is because we have trained ourselves to micromanage the actions, words, and even thoughts of our children. We are not bad parents, we are human and take the responsibility of raising and caring for our children seriously. Here lies the problem…we begin operating under a false pretense, a false sense of security. We control because we want to keep the people and things around us healthy, happy, and safe. We fall into thinking that if everything and everyone is under our control, then life will be free from worry or pain. That is what happened to me during the last 13 weeks.
I needed to stick to just being a responsible parent…. Keeping her comfortable, getting her to the doctor’s appointments on time, doling out her medicines, keeping her on a healthy diet, taking care of the insurance needs, helping her deal with her school and teachers, etc. Instead I forgot who was in control…fooled myself into thinking it was me, which in turn brought me nothing but worry, anxiety, confusion, and depression. Isn’t it funny…did I really believe I was smarter than God…did I really believe I could control life better than God? To be honest again, I guess I did…but I couldn’t and can’t and will not ever be able to!
I have a responsibility as a mother and that responsibility is not to control but to release the control of my children into the hands of our wise and loving Father. I have a responsibility as their mother to pray for them, asking God to do his mighty work in them in ways I can’t imagine. I have a responsibility to pray for God’s protection and guidance over my children. I have the responsibility to pray that my children will recognize God’s great power at work in their lives….Ephesians 1:18-20, “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.”
There may be times when we need to lovingly suggest a change of course to our children or wisely petition against a dangerous decision. We can suggest, impart our wisdom, and be loving and caring but we need to leave the control and power to God! This has not been the first time in my life I have tried to take over God’s job and control things on this earth. And it probably won’t be the last time. But when I start to feel myself sliding down that slippery slope, trying to use my power to control the safety, the health, the happiness of my children, I will pray these words of encouragement that Paul gave to the Corinthian church:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 1 Corinthians 4: 6-9.
Thank you, Lord, for helping me through this time of trials. Thank you for using this time to teach me to "set my mind on things above". Continue to help me turn my heart and mind toward you and your truth so that I, through your power, may gain a more eternal perspective. AMEN!
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