We all have times of testing!

Years ago, when I was in the midst of raising a young family, James Dobson was steadily rising in the ranks of "prominent, know-all authority" in child raising. I, like most of the young moms back then, read his books, listened to her talks on the radio, and discussed his thoughts with other moms. Listening, changing, and the desire to do the right thing has never been a problem for me. In my spiritual life I have never been rebellious... I have always been eager to listen to others and God about how to become closer to God...been willing to change because I long to please my Father...had a desire to love and serve Him to the best of my ability. But, I never thought I handled the trials and tribulations very well.

The problem, for me, was and is that I am a follower not a leader. I have the type of personality that wants someone to direct me...not in theory but literally. One of the things, to this day, that stands out for me was James Dobson telling us mothers "not to let our children throw a temper tantrum at the grocery store." This was a problem I was having at the time...grocery shopping being a war zone. It seemed like when we passed through the threshold of the grocery store we stepped right into another world...one of bad attitudes, disobedience, and general mayhem. We would have a "little talk" outside in the car but the end result was always the same...bad! I clearly remember talking with my girlfriends and asking," but how? If someone would just tell me exactly how not to let her pitch a fit I will do it!" I remember my mother coming to the rescue and answering my questions...not in theory but literally. I literally followed her advise and it worked!

At this point you might be saying, "where is all this dribble going?" I do have a point...My life over the last 2 years has been the hardest it has ever been. Have I handle the hard times well? It doesn't feel like I have. The trials of my life started 2 years ago with the end of homeschooling and the end of my identity as I have known it for the past 25 years. Then my husband was laid off and had to start all over again. Then I stepped out in faith and went to college, which is definitely not my comfort zone...and most recently my daughter's accident and then emergency surgery. I have struggled with loneliness, fear, confusion, shame and condemnation. Sometimes I have felt so worn down that I have almost given up. Did you hear me say almost! One of the questions asked when we go through times of testing is "where is my faith?" Actually, as long as we are hanging in there we are walking in faith (belief in something we can't see)...we are still talking (well maybe crying out) to God. We are laying ourselves at his feet. We are searching his word and asking our brothers and sisters for prayers. Almost doesn't mean anything! "I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to me because my hope is in him, to me because I seek him." But the devil is beside us whispering in our ears. He is telling us that we are doing everything wrong and nothing right. Our guard is put down and before long he has stirred up in us shame, confusion, loneliness and condemnation. I have been told over and over to give it all over to the Lord. But, for me being a follower, what does that mean?

The answer goes against everything we are taught in the world. We might not get immediate gratification...holy moley! We have to think of our trials as battles in a war. Before our soldiers go to war they have to go through training, get suited up, equip themselves with the tools to fight and then go into battle. Let me tell you this...battles are not won in a day! Even in today's world with all the sophisticated equipment, battles can be fought for days, months, years, and even centuries (look at Israel). Not every trial or problem in this life is solved immediately. Every feeling and emotion doesn't automatically come under control as soon as we offer up a prayer. It is a process...it is a battle and each one is fought and won in it's own time. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6". There is no Commander-in-Chief that has more power than our Commander-in-Chief, and every battle is eventually won under his leadership. In that we can put total trust. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. Keeping that in the forefront of our mind, we need to do the training, get suited up and equip ourselves to fight as long as we need to. Our Commander-in-Chief knows all, is in control, and is leading us even when we don't feel like we are being lead or even following very well.

All this isn't new revelation...we as Christians already know what I have just said but sometimes we need to hear it again, see it in print, be reminded of the truth. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. So being a follower instead of a leader let me put specifics down to help with the battle:

• Every single day confess your sins. Be real, even if it seems like it is the same sin day after day. Don't let Satan lie to you (like he does me) and tell you what a mess you are because you are having trouble battling an area of your life. Lack of confessing to God doesn't make fear, or shame, or condemnation go away, instead in confessing it, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES, shows how much we really need God's help and also how much we want his help. "But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I plead aloud in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He rescues me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, even though many still oppose me." Psalm 55:16-18.
• Do spiritual warfare. Using the name of Jesus, command Satan to leave your thoughts and stop playing with your emotions. Again, don't expect your thoughts and feelings to change overnight but keep waging the battle in the "name of Jesus". Pray that your ears will become deaf to the sound of his voice and that your emotions will be numbed to any evil attacks. Ask God to be in control of bringing HIS joy to your thoughts and emotions. As you recognize each lie replace it with truth. It might take some time to recognize the attacks (he comes as a wolf in sheep's clothing) but as soon as you clue in pray, sing, rejoice! Push him out!
• Read your bible...for me that was hard because as soon as I got quiet Satan seemed to enter my thoughts. It was hard to be still and not be distracted. Get a concordance and look up specific passages..protection, mercy, grace...look them up and then write them down. That was a help to me rather than just picking a book of the bible and trying to stay focused on reading it. The important thing is that you are bathing yourself in the bible, HIS word, God's truth. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
• Pray! Pray for strength, wisdom, protection, and growth. Pray for a deeper relationship with him and be sure to give over your will to him for his perfect will. As I sat in that doctor's office 3 weeks ago, and heard the doctor say that they might have to do a full hysterectomy on my only, single, 24-year-old daughter I honestly was able to put fear and control aside ask him to do his will. Oh, I asked him to have mercy and keep her body intact but I was really able to tell him that I would accept his will. I was able to tell God that I knew whatever happened He would be doing the best for her! Pray, pour out your heart to him. "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:1-3
• Do not isolate yourself. Spend time in the fellowship of other believers. Draw from their joy, their love, their faith. No matter what comes our way we need people, relationships, and companionship. Let the people around you encourage you, make you laugh, lift you up and give you break from the "serious life". "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:23-25.
• And finally...bet you thought you would never get to the end!...exercise, eat well and get the proper amount of sleep. All studies show that in times of stress we need our to keep healthy to keep our stress levels under control. I know from personal experience that I come under more attack and have a harder time battling when I am worn down. Physical strength is important to spiritual strength.

This post is really, really long but I feel like the Lord has used my circumstances to help others and if I don't write about it then I will not be doing HIS will. I hope this post has been an encouragement or a help to someone. We all have or will pass through times of testing...each test for us unique to our makeup...what might not be a trial to one might be a very hard test for another. But whatever the trial is God knows about it, is with us, and will bring us through it stronger, wiser, and with more compassion for others. Let's help each other....FOR HIS GLORY AND FOR THE LIFE THAT IS ETERNAL.