Thursday, August 31, 2006

POSTSCRIPT......

I try to write at the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have shared that with most of you before. And I have prayed that during this time, while I am in school and pulled in every direction, that the Lord would still speak to me and continue to allow me to write the words that He speaks to me. It has been my buoy, the way I have been able to feel his presence in my life in a powerful way. And apparently He has and is….the story of Esther has mingled in my mind and heart for weeks now. The same words keep stiriring in my spirit and so I trust that my Lord wants them spoken for me…for someone.

The first look into Esther was not what I wrote on my last post…this was what the Lord showed me in the first few minutes of the movie and I didn’t know how to put it into words and actually He used my last post to convict me to write today. So, I hope I can be obedient and let the Holy Spirit to speak through me.

In the first few minutes of the movie they rustled up all the young women. The king’s personal attendants proposed that a search be made for all the beautiful, young virgins. They were to be brought to the royal harem and placed under the care of the king’s eunuch. Esther won his favor and he provided her with beauty treatments, special foods, seven maids selected from the king’s palace and moved her into the best place in the harem.

The girls had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oils and six months with perfumes before they could be brought before the King. When it was her turn, in the evening, she would go to the King and in the morning return to the harem. She would not return to the king unless he was pleased with her and summoned her by name.

This is where I started to feel all kinds of emotions. I even stopped my TIVO and read through my bible to be sure that they weren’t over dramasting the whole process. And it was acted pretty close to scripture. I felt for this young woman, who I can assume being Jewish had a pretty strict upbringing. I felt for her being a young woman and a virgin and thrown into this harem to be treated like a steer up for auction. She was taken from a comfortable life with great freedoms (Jews were even allowed to own and run their own businesses) and put somewhere that had to be against who and what she was. She had no rights or freedoms and even though it doesn’t say this her morality was stripped from her. Her sole purpose and not by her choice but by force, was to serve the king and await his call for sexual pleasure.

Yet, it states in Esther 2:15…And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. It came to me that this couldn’t be only because of her beauty…there had to be more to the substance of this young woman. And sure enough we found out on my last post that there was plenty of outstanding character in this one person. This is what spoke to me and spoke strongly. How many times in our lives are we in a place that we don’t want to be…whether by our choice or circumstance? All of us will be there at some point in life if we haven’t encountered that already. It might be a marriage we shouldn’t have jumped into…it might be a job we took or had to take and then were miserable. It might be losing a child or spouse or being thrust into the throws of disease (the scariest…the big C). It could be any kind of major change in your life that has thrown you off kilter.

And that was the lesson the Holy Spirit was speaking to me…are the changes in my life worse than being taken from my home, family and security and thrust into a harem with hundreds of other young virgins. How do the changes compare to living day in and day out just waiting to hear my name called so I can be used for the sexual pleasures of a king and then possibly cast aside to wait in dread for my name to be called again? Let me tell you….my life is a picnic!!

The problem is, my character has not risen to the character of Esther. I have not focused on the providence of my Savior. I have not run to him and let him give me strength. I have not wanted to risk my security, my life that I love and am comfortable in to serve God in a different plan. I have not wanted any other plan! I only want what I have been comfortable in….yes, I have been extremely selfish! There I said it.

Where would history be if Esther hadn’t gone along with the plan and gone along with it in a positive manner. I believe, because the scriptures tells us, that she won the favor of the king’s eunuch and she didn’t accomplish that by griping and complaining or kicking or crying. She went beyond just doing what she had to do, she trusted in God and made the best of it. And she reaped blessings…the king fell madly in love with her and she became queen. She earned trust and favor and was able to save her people. And because of her Mordecai, who was at one time condemned to death, rose to become the second highest ranking official in the nation. And I am sure there are plenty more great deeds in the life of Esther that are not recorded in those short ten chapters.

The Holy Spirit has played this scripture in my head over and over the last few weeks….”And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14. God knows why we are where we are! We might be in this royal position because he has a great work for us. We might be in this position because, like Esther, God has hand picked us for service to him in a place different from what we are used to. Maybe, He has already called us but we have been digging our heels in the ground and refusing to trust… to relinquish control of all of our life to Him, not just when we are comfortable. And just maybe…we are where we are because this is our royal position and there is a time such as this!!

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