As our children grow, the control is suppose to lessen but for most of us we find that very hard to do. One reason is because we have trained ourselves to micromanage the actions, words, and even thoughts of our children. We are not bad parents, we are human and take the responsibility of raising and caring for our children seriously. Here lies the problem…we begin operating under a false pretense, a false sense of security. We control because we want to keep the people and things around us healthy, happy, and safe. We fall into thinking that if everything and everyone is under our control, then life will be free from worry or pain. That is what happened to me during the last 13 weeks.
I needed to stick to just being a responsible parent…. Keeping her comfortable, getting her to the doctor’s appointments on time, doling out her medicines, keeping her on a healthy diet, taking care of the insurance needs, helping her deal with her school and teachers, etc. Instead I forgot who was in control…fooled myself into thinking it was me, which in turn brought me nothing but worry, anxiety, confusion, and depression. Isn’t it funny…did I really believe I was smarter than God…did I really believe I could control life better than God? To be honest again, I guess I did…but I couldn’t and can’t and will not ever be able to!
I have a responsibility as a mother and that responsibility is not to control but to release the control of my children into the hands of our wise and loving Father. I have a responsibility as their mother to pray for them, asking God to do his mighty work in them in ways I can’t imagine. I have a responsibility to pray for God’s protection and guidance over my children. I have the responsibility to pray that my children will recognize God’s great power at work in their lives….Ephesians 1:18-20, “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.”
There may be times when we need to lovingly suggest a change of course to our children or wisely petition against a dangerous decision. We can suggest, impart our wisdom, and be loving and caring but we need to leave the control and power to God! This has not been the first time in my life I have tried to take over God’s job and control things on this earth. And it probably won’t be the last time. But when I start to feel myself sliding down that slippery slope, trying to use my power to control the safety, the health, the happiness of my children, I will pray these words of encouragement that Paul gave to the Corinthian church:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 1 Corinthians 4: 6-9.
Thank you, Lord, for helping me through this time of trials. Thank you for using this time to teach me to "set my mind on things above". Continue to help me turn my heart and mind toward you and your truth so that I, through your power, may gain a more eternal perspective. AMEN!
2 comments:
Dear Trina,
Yes, control is a huge issue! And, our sense of responsiblity can easily and subtly change to control. How truly finite we are to think that we have control of anything! We can make plans and chart our course, but God often takes our path in a completely different direction. Getting mad at God shows again that I think that I know better than Him. Thank you for sharing your experiences which so clearly mirror mine. Your insights encourage me to look up and beyond the current circumstances to again place my trust in the One who rules all things. Blessings dear friend, Jan
I feel you on this one.
It is soooooooo gooooooood to be reading from your blog again.
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