I am currently reading a book entitled, Saying “Yes” to God. I have found many nuggets of inspiration, truth, and encouragement in this easy to read book. Simply put this is the message… when you let go of yourself and wholeheartedly embrace obedience to …say “YES!” to Him, you will discover the blessings God has planned for you and your life will be transformed into a remarkable journey. Sounds so easy but yet for so many of us it is so hard. When we find someone who has wholeheartedly honored God’s presence in their lives it truly is a testimony and an inspiration to us and ignites our desire for this same kind of life-changing results in our life and also our passion for our God!
When Amanda was in the hospital God blessed me over and over with gifts of these kinds of people coming into my life…”okay God, put the frying pan away! My head isn’t that hard…I see the example of what you desire of me!” There is one person during that time that was radically obedient to God, and it is him, in particular I would like to share with you. I call him Saint Thomas.
Saint Thomas is a man that lived down the street from my mom and dad while I was pregnant with Amanda. My family has known him for probably 20 years and we love him dearly. I have always felt a special connection to him. He has always been a very good friend to my dad and quite the joker. My dad and Tom have spent a quarter of a century playing practical jokes on one another. I have always loved him for the joy, laughter, and friendship he has brought to my mom and dad. We see him around but are not in the habit of telephoning or note writing, but would stop in a store or restaurant and give a hug and catch up on friendly news. His wife was a member of my dad’s church and also taught Amanda in a little preschool there when she was 4 yr. old. Tom has grown children and they are also grandparents. He owns his own business and works very hard and is a very busy guy.
Regardless of how busy, how much responsibility he had, how inconvient it was for him, how much sleep he was losing, he made a choice to sacrifice many things for us when we were in ICU during Amanda’s accident. He chose to get up every weekday morning, get dressed, ride across town, stop at McDonalds, order biscuits and coffee, drive to the hospital, park in the parking deck, and bring myself and my family breakfast by 6 a.m. He gave of his time to bring us breakfast and hot coffee. He also always paid for everything he brought to us no matter no much and for how many people. And if that wasn’t enough, he had to play psychiatrist, “But if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, then chose today whom you will serve…as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. You see, when you are in the hospital, the demons really seem to come out at night. The nights are long and hard and lonely, and it always seems that some kind of crisis comes about. There is pain that you can’t get control of, or Amanda’s fever would spike, or a lung would collapse, or her heart would act up (they had to resuscitate her 2 times)…things just fall apart at night. And of course, the doctors aren’t around like they are during the day…they do have a life! Every incident seems to be magnified if it happens during the night and it just adds to the stress and exhaustion.
It would be these early hours of the morning, when usually the first comforting face I would see would be Saint Tom’s. He would hand over breakfast and coffee and ask how the night went and then would start therapy! All the fears, stress, and tension of the long before would come tumbling out, “The Lord will redeem those who serve him. Everyone who trusts in him will be freely pardoned.” Psalm 34:22
He would have to wear the hat of friend, father, psychiatrist, priest, doctor and comforter in those early morning hours and I’m not sure that is what he signed up for. But, I am telling you from the heart that I don’t believe I could have remained sane if it hadn’t been for my Saint Tom! “The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.” Isaiah 50:4. Saint Thomas was a great listener, kind, compassionate, loving and most of all patient. During those long days and nights while Amanda was in ICU, I was like a little baby whose legs where too weak to hold them up. I needed to be held up and carried for a short while. My Saint Tom chose to be Jesus’ arms for me. “In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. Isaiah 63:9
Through his service, Saint Tom brought me encouragement, comfort, healing, and faith. He was an example to me, he was able to “let his light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. He did a great service for me but more than that he laid before me and others an example of being Christ like…he helped me further my walk with the Lord. “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” 1 Corinthians 15:58. This one humble man thus was a Saint to me and I thank him for all he did for me and I know he earned many jewels in his crown. I will be quicker to extend myself in service to others and pray that I ears will always be open to the whisper of God’s voice to serve, that my heart will be full of love for others so I don’t miss a beat in accepting service, and that my feet will walk in the steps of Jesus to go anywhere to love and serve others!
“As a fellow elder, this is my appeal to you: Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.” 1 Peter: 1-2
Monday, June 08, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
Billowing smoke
Yesterday, I was looking out the wind and noticed my yard engulfed in a haze of smoke. My husband was mowing the yard when the mower started acting up. Russell stopped to do maintenance on it. He had to turn it over which caused the oil to be distributed to areas the oil was not to go into...thus the billowing smoke! Russell was determined though to get the rest of the mowing completed and it was a pretty comical site...that big figure emerging through the smoke and and yet reemerging because where he and the mower went the smoke went!
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friends
My daughter’s seven month old puppy, who resides at her boyfriend’s farm (they have joint custody), was involved in an accident Tuesday night. His pelvis was injured, which is really ironic…our daughter was injured at night, at the same place, and one of her significant injuries is her pelvis. Anyway, Wednesday morning Bo had to have surgery, stayed overnight at the vets and yesterday we brought him home to our farm to take care of him.
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Making us into something better
As the mom and child walked through the garden, they spied a little cocoon. Upon closer observation, they noticed it wiggling and rolling with an unborn butterfly inside trying to break through the cocoon to greet the world outside.
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Saturday, December 20, 2008
One Bright Star
One bright star that led them to the greatest gift of all...Christmas is almost here!
As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.
I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.
Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.
This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!
Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!
Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.
I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!
Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.
At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!
Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina
As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.
I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.
Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.
This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!
Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!
Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.
I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!
Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.
At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!
Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Belonging to Many
Amanda, her dad and I were at the hospital for an appointment with Amanda’s shock trauma doctor. As we were sitting in the waiting area, just separated by the hospital hallway by an archway, I heard a woman’s voice call out my name. To my pleasant surprise it was Miss Jackie, the secretary from the operating room at the hospital. Miss Jackie was one of those people who knew all that Amanda had been through. She was the first one we would see every time we had to come down to the operating room which was about a dozen or so times. Miss Jackie was the person who placed us in a cubby hole or “holding” as they call it…the last step to the operating room. She always knew what Amanda was having done and because Miss Jackie worked in the OR she pretty much knew Amanda’s condition. She always would smile at me; tell me the best team was ready to go, and that her and her whole church was praying for Amanda.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Preparing the way
In those dark hours the first few days of my daughter Amanda's accident I was told a story....
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
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