Misunderstood and fine with that

Ah, " the chair"...A man and woman from a satellite company came to my house to install my dream appliance...TIVO! They were very friendly and very southern (from Mississippi). While they were working on the installation, we chatted with one another as most southerns do about our children, the economy, and the weather.

Being of no help to them, at all, I decided to sit down in "the chair" to continue our conversation. Very politely the man said, "Hey, that's a really nice chair". It is, in fact, an upholstered recliner and quite nice if I do say so myself. Without hesitation I cheerfully responded with, "it's my dead aunt's." Caught by surprise and not sure of what to say then, the woman took matters into her own hands, probably to salvage the easy going conversation we were having. She cheerfully said,"I love that throw blanket on the arm of the chair...have you had it long?" "About ten years," I replied,"it belonged to my deceased mother -in-law".

My TIVO was installed in record time and my installers (who I had found out were married to one another), didn't offer much conversation for the rest of the installation. I found out later, due to technical difficulties, from a new installer, that my couple had a change in career choices. They left the satellite installation job, moved back to Mississippi and started working for Wal-Mart. Could it have been something I said?!


About "the chair"...It is not only about the chair but the beautiful throw that stays with the chair. I had an aunt, well she really was not a blood aunt but as close as one can get. Aunt Grace or Auntie as we called her and Unc moved here from California so my mom and dad could take care of them in their senior years. You see Auntie and Unc had no children of their own but during my dad's first tour to Viet-Nam when he had to leave a wife and five children behind, they became a lifeline for my mom and acted as grandparents to us children. Our own grandparents lived in Canada and were very far away. The connection stayed and grew even as we traveled the world and they stayed in California. That connection is why my parents wanted them here with us.

During their life here there were many changes in our family dynamics...mom and daddy moved to Sparta, Ga., some 70 miles away, and I was at home with my children homeschooling them. Both my sisters had busy lives, one with children in private school which kept her busy and one with a full-time career. The third sister lives in California and she was totally out of the mix. Auntie and Unc had alot of doctor's appointments and for a season it was my duty to get them to those appointments (I was needed!).

To make a long story short, those times stretched me then, but now that Auntie and Unc have passed away, I know how blessed I was for the time with them for me and my children. The children went to all appointments and the grocery store runs and to Burger King for whoppers since they were not at school. I was not left with only great memories of my time with Auntie, but after she passed away was given, by dad, her chair. That is what we lovingly refer to it as "the chair". I sit in it and in a comforting way feel close to her.

And the "throw"...my mother-in-law, who we always call grandma, became sick. She was hospitalized and fought hard. This was during the time my own parents were in Sparta, Ga. Before she got sick she really became a mother to me and also a deeply treasured and admired friend. She loved my children with all her heart and her son could do no wrong. She lived less than two miles from us and because of homeschooling the children we saw her everyday or close to it.

During her six week stay in the hospital, she became very depresed. After speaking with the nurse, my children, husband and I went shopping for something to cheer her up. When we came upon this beautiful throw, everyone thought it the very best moral booster. She could keep it around her always and think of her grandbabies and loving son. The night we took it to her she was overwhelmed with thanks and promised her babies that she would never remove it from the bed. That was the last visit grandma had with the children. We decided not to take them back to the hospital after that and she passed away a couple of weeks later. We took her throw with us at the end of that last day.

I cannot have grandma or auntie back but I have "the chair" and the "throw". Everyday I visit with them for a time and I feel close to them even though they are gone from this world. I do not mind that I am misunderstood and I suspect they probably know and it gives them a chuckle. I will forever, though, sit in "the chair" covered by grandma's throw and ponder the here and after. In loving memory of Auntie, Unc and Grandma Barnes