Today in the life of the church is the Easter Vigil. What a difference today must of been for the disciples after the shock and grief over the death of their beloved Savior.
Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".
God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).
Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.
And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.
I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Happy Easter to you all!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Suffering but not separated...
God has moved me to take the time to quietly sit down and once again share with all of you what HE has laid upon my heart.
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)