The definition in my Christian dictionary of humble is this: "Not proud or haughty; having or showing a modest estimate of one's own importance". A word with just six little letters but a character trait that is so hard to gain. The opposite of humble is proud...and I think, we as humans, are born with some pride in some area of our lives. I know that because of pride God has had to humble me and let me tell you...it ain't pretty!
My husband and I use to get tickets for "Duck Unlimited" dinners. The organization promotes the wood duck and it is usually a "guy's" thing. They have a bar with your usual "Hooters" girls serving the drinks, a buffet with fried quail, BIG steamed shrimp, and usually some big roasted hog laid out in the middle of the table. And then there is the auction...shotguns, outdoor signed prints of ducks and deer and BIG fish, more guns, wilderness trips to hunt some kind of fowl or four legged creature, more guns, and the big prize...the newest four wheeler on the market. Anyway, we always get tickets and go for business reasons. One of my husband's biggest clients is the president and there are many engineers, contractors, DOT management men there. Alot of people to see and alot of being seen for my husband. My husband always takes me even though (other than the Hooter's girls) there are not many women. He has always seen it as an opportunity for a night out for us and I do enjoy it. I know alot of the men and know a good bit about the projects my husband works on. So, after going a few times....yes, I got a little proud...proud you say! Oh, yes, it was fun for me to be arm candy for the night and show those Hooter girls a little class! That was my mistake...you see, no one would have ever guessed I felt that way...pride can be an easy thing to hide...but boy, it had welled up in me. This particular Thursday, that night being our dinner, I bought some really cool white designer slacks, a white silk blouse, and headed for my stylist. She was going to give me some blonde highlights, give me a cut and then fix my hair and all in time to meet up with my hubby. I wore my designer outfit....I would have no time to go home. Proud, oh yea, when I walked into the room they where going to know I had arrived! Well, I did turn heads, everyone knew I arrived but not in the way my pride and vanity wanted. You see, my stylist (who is no longer my stylist) made a boo-boo on my hair. My whole head came out white...yes, white. I had to go there. My husband was waiting with two other couples and there was no way to contact him. So, when I walked through the doors that night for dinner, I turned heads, people talked about me, I made an impression.....but not because I looked so sophisticated, not because I looked like I had class, not because of any of the reasons my pride had been setting me up for. They noticed me because I looked like one huge marshmallow! And I mean, one BIG WHITE MARSHMALLOW! The last thing I had earlier that day was a "modest estimate of my importance" but boy, did that put me in my place. I was humbled!
How many of you like the picture on your driver's license? In the past, I thought my pictures were all pretty good up until the dreadful picture of 2001. I had become very self -conscious about having my picture taken. I was going through that "getting old" phase and I had gained some weight and it seemed to me that, in most pictures, my head was the size of a balloon, my eyes the size of LeSeur tiny peas and wrinkles that looked like the San Andeas fault. But, this was the year I had to renew my license and that meant getting my picture taken. When it came time to stand in the little red box and look at the camera....well, let's say it was beyond the worse picture I have ever taken. I cocked my head to one side, squinted, but at the same time rolled my eyes almost into the back of my head and did something really weird with my mouth. I don't think what I did could be classified as a smile...it kind of looked like a snarl with my mouth opened. Let's put it this way...when I showed it to my husband he looked at it and told me he willing to pay WHATEVER it cost and get the picture redone. It became such a joke within my family that every time we would go to Wal-Mart or Target and someone would ask to see my license when writing a check they would stand behind me and shake their heads to the checkout person like they were giving the person a warning. Once in a while they would actually say "Oh, you don't really want her to show you that!" It was all in fun...the fact being that I had "exalted myself"...age wasn't going to show on me...I had been a model in my younger days and I was always going to be able to look good...I was hiding pride....I was prideful of the way I looked and every time I had to pull out that driver's license I was brought to a place where I had to "have a modest estimate of my own importance". Yes, I was humbled over and over and over!
There are many more....things that happen in life to make you realize that you are "not as important" as you think you are. All of us have been there and felt that! And, yes, I have been humbled and then had to examine my own motives, my own desires, my own private thoughts. I have had to swallow my pride, recognize why I did what I did, repent and then try to put it behind me. Some of the time that has been easy, other times not so easy, especially when it involves other people and you have to "show your face again", those times when my humbling is more public than private.
But go on I do and with a changed heart. My goal and aim to do as it imstructs us in Ephesians 4:2, "Be completely humble and gentle". When I loose my way and start thinking like the world would have me think, my Father gently stands with me while I learn my lesson and then He is there with loving arms to welcome me back. He continually reminds me that by the world's standards I might be lowly, and unimportant...I might not be the most liked or the smartest. But, by His standards I was hand picked...I was made just as I should have been and that I am so important in the heavenly realm that death came upon my Father so that I might live....mistakes and all.
Today, with ashes on my forehead I am humbled...I am humbled because with all my failures..with all my imperfections...with stubborness and willfullness I have a Father who loves me anyway. Today, this humbling I am rejoicing in...a word with six sweet letters.
And what does the Lord require of me? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God. Micah 6:8
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