We are not abandon

During the Lenten season at church we sing a response that asks "My God, my God why have you abandon me?" Of course, we know that God has done everything for us BUT abandon us.

Though for a few minutes last night I lost it and sure felt abandon. My husband and I were sitting in church and sometime into the mass I happen to notice that there was a notice in the bulletin that upset me. The bulletin stated that one of my favorite people, Sister Bernadette, was leaving. Why was that so upsetting? Sister is my strength, my security, my mentor. During every hard time in my adult life Sister has been there for myself and also my family. When my mother-in-law had to have an emergency procedure, there was Sister. When my mother-in-law died, there was Sister. When my father-in-law was struggling, there was Sister. The same when my father-in-law died...there she was. During the months of Amanda's accident that tested me to the core...who was there..Sister! We turned to Sister when we needed help when my son got engaged and again when Amanda and I were in rehab and home in a hospital bed. Sister was there with a hug, with encouragement, always with communion for us. In fact, Sister was there, along with my mother and sisters when Amanda took her first steps in rehab. My holy Sister Bernadette was there for both my children's first communions and always around as they grew up...she just has always been there with us and for us. Oh God, the last two years have been full of great trials..why are you putting us through one more change? Why are you taking my special friend and Sister from me? I felt alone and abandoned by God.

My dear sweet Sister is loving, giving, dedicated. She is a very tiny woman, with a soft, but assured way of speaking. But every inch of that small frame and soft manner is wholly and humbly dedicated to God our Father and bringing that to others. She gives tirelessly and will not stop at anything to bring comfort to those that need it. She is selfless and don't even try to get her to speak about herself...she is not interested in talking about herself only others.

After church we were able to talk with her and thank you Jesus!...she is not leaving. She won't be working with the sick and shut-ins any more for our church instead she will be working at Catholic Social Services in town. She probably though I was having some kind of breakdown because I hugged her so tight and couldn't stop crying. She knew...she knew. She reassured me and told me this was her home and she wasn't going anywhere! My God, my God...why do we doubt? And not just because Sister Bernadette is staying here but because after all we have been through I know that God would have helped me make one more adjustment. After all we have been through, I know God loves me and will ALWAYS take care of me..."Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5. I know after the events of the last two years that my God loves me beyond measure and even when times are hard he is right there with me ready to minister to my every need. Oh God, my God you will never abandon me!

Thank you dear Sister Bernadette for being Christ in this world and being such a big part of our lives and the lives of so many more.

"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13: 1-2

"For he who touches you touches the apple of his eye." Zechariah 2:8

S Joy!

There are many types of JOY that i'm sure you have experienced. What comes to my mind is probably the same as what comes to your mind. There is the joy of love, the joy of graduating, the joy of birth, the joy of discovering new places and traveling, there is the joy of an expensive gift, the joy of a new home, and the list goes on!



The Lord spoke to me this weekend about a special joy...SIMPLE JOY! How many of us have the honor and priviledge of experiencing plain old simple joy? I have and I do and the Lord would like all of us to experience this gift He brings to us. Simple joy is just that. It is that same joy you feel when something big and important happens but simple joy can come along with the things in life that don't have alot of fanfare, glitz, drama. This kind of joy comes from being happy in life and with life. It is a joy that acknowleges that every minute of every day is a gift...a gift from the Father to us. Simply joy comes from being able to slow down and experience what is important in this life. It is a joy that comes from recognizing that ALL things come from our Lord and that we are not the masters of this world but that God is in control of all things.



Simple joy is excitement upon seeing the first hummingbird at the feeder in the spring, making popcorn for family TV night, getting or giving a hug from or to someone, singing 70's tunes with your children, digging the weeds out of the garden, people watching while eating an ice cream cone on Main Street, listening to the purrs of your kitten. These are some of the simple joys in life.



I am blessed with experiencing the hand of God upon myself and my family. I am honored and privileged that my Saviour has heaped so many blessings upon me and my family. I want to see God's majesty around me and not be too busy and let it pass by me. And I thank my Lord and Father that each and every day he has opened my heart to simple joys!



"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well feed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phillipians 4:11-13"



I am blessed with SIMPLE JOY!

Two or more at Lent

I have noticed that many, as in people, are writing insightful pieces having to do with prayer and Lent. In the past, I have always tried to put together a plan to pray, fast, and hopefuly enter the Easter season closer to God and with a little more spiritual growth than the last year. And I, like most of you, have struggled with the praying, fasting and reflecting. Over the course of my adult life, I have read many articles in books, blogs, church bulletins and newsletters that have all sorts of great thoughts and approaches to having deeper and more committed prayer time. And I, like most of you, have struggled with finding time (and being able to concentrate) on my prayers. And, even with the best intentions, Friday after Friday seem to spring up on me and I haven't done a whole lot of meaningful prayer.





I don't have any insightful thoughts or mind-altering tidbits...I just have some testimony from the past couple years. If you don't know already the past three years have been altering for me. My daughter was hit head-on by a pickup truck in the spring of 2007. They fire dept. had to cut her out of her car with the jaw-of-life. She suffered a major bone break in her foot..her foot will always hamper her. Three months later, she was taken into emergence surgery for some tumor like growths that caused her ovaries to twist. She was experiencing pain and nausea since the accident so the doctors misdiagnosed her, changing her medications and such, thus missing these fast growing tumors until they had become life threatening. Then six months later, she was in an accident on a country road, late at night, and thrown from a big truck. A deer ran out in front her boyfriend's pick-up truck and he lost control. She was thrown from the truck, covered in a six-foot ditch by trees, had to be helicoptered to a trauma hospital, endured 7 + hours of surgery with nine teams of doctors, and wasn't expected to live. We spent months in the hospital, then rehab, then home and during this recovery my husband lost his job twice, of course losing health benefits. Oh, and did I tell you that around the same time as my daughter's first accident, I was having ALOT of migraines and due to that I burned up all the serotonin in my body. The result of that was a loss of energy, memory...mainly you can't function until you build back the serotonin..(you can read more on the post "Suffering but not Separated" March 19,2008). And how is all this related to Lent..to prayer?! I will tell you.



I had always tried to be faithful to having a personal prayer time in the mornings which was good. But, God showed me GREAT! Right after my daughter's first accident, a good friend started coming over to my house and we started praying TOGETHER. "Hear the supplications of your servant and of your people Israel when they pray.." 2 Chronicles 6:21. We would first talk about what prayer needs were on our hearts focusing on our children and husbands. Next, we would open our bibles and the Lord would show us a scripture. Then we would begin to pray...starting with acknowledgment of God's power and reign over us, moving into a time of thanking Him and recounting our blessings and following that with a time of confession. The last part was giving God our petitions. Here is the testimony...the walls of this house shook with the presence of our Almighty. "And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness" Acts 4:31. It wasn't because of the lists of requests, it wasn't because of the order of prayer, it wasn't about the scripture, though all played a part. This house shook because there was more than one of us! Even though we had requests that we intended to bring to the Lord, when we started praying the Holy Spirit took over and spoke for us and through us. It was never my words that acknowledged the almighty power of God, it was the Holy Spirit through me. It was never my words that thanked my Father for all the blessings poured down upon me, it was the Holy Spirit speaking through me..speaking what was deep in my heart. The confessions were not me or my prayer partner, they were the Holy Spirit looking deep into my heart and bringing all into the light. And the requests...I stopped writing them down...the Holy Spirit knew what needed to be petitioned and those are the requests that tumbled from my lips. These prayer sessions were deep, powerful, real, and beyond me. "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express". Romans 8:26



God made himself present to me and my partner in a life changing way. He built my faith, illuminate my failings, bathed me in forgiveness and poured out his mercy. I truly believe that the night my daughter lay fighting for life in that ditch, there was a spiritual war taking place. And due to the prayers that had been prayed by "TWO OR MORE" she is here today, walking, talking, working, playing, living life! Then again, last fall, another friend and I started doing the same..praying several times a week. Again, my house shook from top to bottom. At times, we would be praying over an hour and not even realize how much time had passed. We would weep and laugh, become bold and authoritative, pour out our hearts and hear the Lord give us words of direction, encouragement, and love. He showed us the power in "TWO OR MORE" gathered together to pray. During these months of prayer with a partner, I have seen so much happen in both our lives and seen much of God's power at work. God has shown me that there is something special in praying with someone. God has blessed my partners, the people we have prayed for, and myself.

So, maybe this Lent, you will call a sibling, a friend, a neighbor and step out together in prayer to see what new heights the Lord can stretch you to!

Apart

My niece got married Saturday evening. It was a beautiful wedding and the bride was a vision to behold. And the groom...if he was any happier we would have had to tie him down so he didn't float away. Yet, for me the wedding was bittersweet. My darling niece is thirty years old and has lived in the same general area as I for all her life. She was my baby for 4 years before I had my first baby. I love her so much and feel like she is one of my own. But the young man she married lives in Florida, about 7 hours away.



When I went to give her a farewell hug, I was overcome with emotion. All I could do was quietly weep and hold her tight. I felt such a separation, such a loss. In the dark as we drove home I began to think about the love I have for this young woman in comparision to the love God has for me. How many times have I put distance between me and the one who loves me so very much? How must my Lord's heart break and how many tears has he shed? How many times have I traveled a journey away from my Lord and He had to suffer and endure the feeling of separation and loss from me, one of his children, when it wasn't necessary? If my Father loves me infinitly more than we can love, then when I choose not to be in tune with him how he must suffer. I am now sure my God weeps for me and wants to hold on tightly to me.



It is okay for my niece to start a new life in another town with the man God has called her to unite with...but it is not alright for me to move away from the presence and company of my Saviour. Every day, every hour, every minute I need to be one with the Lord...I need to have no distance, no separation between me and my father. I need him to hold me tight not for a goodbye but for now, today, tomorrow and forever! "But you, beloved, building yourself up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life." Jude 1:21.



Thank you ,my darling, for bringing joy and love into my life. I am so proud of you and will pray for you (as I always have) and for that great new husband of yours.

Whiter than snow

We had a significant snowfall this past weekend as did most of the south. I awoke Saturday morning to see the wonderous sight of around six inches of freshly-fallen, undisturbed, bright white snow. The trees hung over bathed in dazzling, bright-white arches. The pasture, out my window, was one blinding carpet of luscious white. As the sun rose, it's rays kissed the blanket of white and it reflected so much light it was blinding.

This Saturday, in those quiet still morning hours, I thought about this from God's word,..."Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7.
I could clearly see how important this promise from my Father is. When we are truly sorry for the sins we have committed, our loving father as we know, forgives us. And that forgiveness is whole...it is complete. He forgives us but doesn't stop there. He washes away every single speck of dirt and we have the honor and privilege of being cleansed..cleaned until we are "as white as snow". He washes away the ugly, dirty sin and we are left bright, shinning, illluminated. God restores us...we are fresh, bright, untouched, pure.

Did you get snow sometime this past weekend or sometime this winter? If you were privileged enough to look out your window and see a blanket of beautiful blazing white carpet then maybe you thought of this promise too. But, if you haven't had the privilege of see this glorious work of His hands don't feel left out...our Father's promise of "washing us whiter than snow" is for everyone of us no matter what the weather does or doesn't do!