I am currently reading a book entitled, Saying “Yes” to God. I have found many nuggets of inspiration, truth, and encouragement in this easy to read book. Simply put this is the message… when you let go of yourself and wholeheartedly embrace obedience to …say “YES!” to Him, you will discover the blessings God has planned for you and your life will be transformed into a remarkable journey. Sounds so easy but yet for so many of us it is so hard. When we find someone who has wholeheartedly honored God’s presence in their lives it truly is a testimony and an inspiration to us and ignites our desire for this same kind of life-changing results in our life and also our passion for our God!
When Amanda was in the hospital God blessed me over and over with gifts of these kinds of people coming into my life…”okay God, put the frying pan away! My head isn’t that hard…I see the example of what you desire of me!” There is one person during that time that was radically obedient to God, and it is him, in particular I would like to share with you. I call him Saint Thomas.
Saint Thomas is a man that lived down the street from my mom and dad while I was pregnant with Amanda. My family has known him for probably 20 years and we love him dearly. I have always felt a special connection to him. He has always been a very good friend to my dad and quite the joker. My dad and Tom have spent a quarter of a century playing practical jokes on one another. I have always loved him for the joy, laughter, and friendship he has brought to my mom and dad. We see him around but are not in the habit of telephoning or note writing, but would stop in a store or restaurant and give a hug and catch up on friendly news. His wife was a member of my dad’s church and also taught Amanda in a little preschool there when she was 4 yr. old. Tom has grown children and they are also grandparents. He owns his own business and works very hard and is a very busy guy.
Regardless of how busy, how much responsibility he had, how inconvient it was for him, how much sleep he was losing, he made a choice to sacrifice many things for us when we were in ICU during Amanda’s accident. He chose to get up every weekday morning, get dressed, ride across town, stop at McDonalds, order biscuits and coffee, drive to the hospital, park in the parking deck, and bring myself and my family breakfast by 6 a.m. He gave of his time to bring us breakfast and hot coffee. He also always paid for everything he brought to us no matter no much and for how many people. And if that wasn’t enough, he had to play psychiatrist, “But if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, then chose today whom you will serve…as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. You see, when you are in the hospital, the demons really seem to come out at night. The nights are long and hard and lonely, and it always seems that some kind of crisis comes about. There is pain that you can’t get control of, or Amanda’s fever would spike, or a lung would collapse, or her heart would act up (they had to resuscitate her 2 times)…things just fall apart at night. And of course, the doctors aren’t around like they are during the day…they do have a life! Every incident seems to be magnified if it happens during the night and it just adds to the stress and exhaustion.
It would be these early hours of the morning, when usually the first comforting face I would see would be Saint Tom’s. He would hand over breakfast and coffee and ask how the night went and then would start therapy! All the fears, stress, and tension of the long before would come tumbling out, “The Lord will redeem those who serve him. Everyone who trusts in him will be freely pardoned.” Psalm 34:22
He would have to wear the hat of friend, father, psychiatrist, priest, doctor and comforter in those early morning hours and I’m not sure that is what he signed up for. But, I am telling you from the heart that I don’t believe I could have remained sane if it hadn’t been for my Saint Tom! “The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.” Isaiah 50:4. Saint Thomas was a great listener, kind, compassionate, loving and most of all patient. During those long days and nights while Amanda was in ICU, I was like a little baby whose legs where too weak to hold them up. I needed to be held up and carried for a short while. My Saint Tom chose to be Jesus’ arms for me. “In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. Isaiah 63:9
Through his service, Saint Tom brought me encouragement, comfort, healing, and faith. He was an example to me, he was able to “let his light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. He did a great service for me but more than that he laid before me and others an example of being Christ like…he helped me further my walk with the Lord. “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” 1 Corinthians 15:58. This one humble man thus was a Saint to me and I thank him for all he did for me and I know he earned many jewels in his crown. I will be quicker to extend myself in service to others and pray that I ears will always be open to the whisper of God’s voice to serve, that my heart will be full of love for others so I don’t miss a beat in accepting service, and that my feet will walk in the steps of Jesus to go anywhere to love and serve others!
“As a fellow elder, this is my appeal to you: Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.” 1 Peter: 1-2
Monday, June 08, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
Billowing smoke
Yesterday, I was looking out the wind and noticed my yard engulfed in a haze of smoke. My husband was mowing the yard when the mower started acting up. Russell stopped to do maintenance on it. He had to turn it over which caused the oil to be distributed to areas the oil was not to go into...thus the billowing smoke! Russell was determined though to get the rest of the mowing completed and it was a pretty comical site...that big figure emerging through the smoke and and yet reemerging because where he and the mower went the smoke went!
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
The billowing smoke made me think about the last six or eight months. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and it is like being covered over in a cloud of smoke. The smoke blurs my vision, makes it hard to breathe, and wears you out and down. For instance, the other day, we were driving down the road in broad daylight and there were 3 deer on the side of the road minding their own business just having a little to eat. Upon seeing them I started to cry. It took me a minute or two to get myself together. I feel like my husband, I wish someone would drop a bomb and just do away with the whole deer population and I am not a violent person (in fact, I am an animal lover)! Another problem I have is aniexty attacks at night in my sleep. I wake myself up breathing heavy and, I suppose, dreaming though I don't remember what or if i'm dreaming. I then, can't seem to go back to sleep so I spend the rest of the night walking the floors. Then there are the times I have to ride down the road where the accident took place. I get very emotional and nervous...always feel like we are driving too fast, like something is going to jump out in front of us, or the other cars are driving too fast and going to cause us to get hurt.
These are just some of the lingering post accident things I struggle with. But even though I have struggles they are so much less than the struggles we went through 16 months ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago. We serve and love a God that has given us the grace to ..." press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12b. He has covered us in his grace because He taught me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9. No matter how much smoke, how long the smoke lasts, how blurry my vision... "all this is for my benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God!"
2 Corinthians 4:15. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17. I know as my God has and continues to heal Amanda he has and continues to heal me and the rest of my family. He loves us very much and he is growing me everyday.."I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17.
As God leads me through the smoke, sometimes my eyes will be blurry and I will feel like I am on my own and I will need extra prayer and support from ya'll. Then there will be the times when a soft breeze will come and blow the smoke out of the way and everything will seem clear again and with God's grace and mercy those times will be coming more often than not. But as we have discovered, the timetable to this life is up to God and all things will be happening on His schedule. Until then I will praise His holy name and pray for you my dear brothers and sisters!
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friends
My daughter’s seven month old puppy, who resides at her boyfriend’s farm (they have joint custody), was involved in an accident Tuesday night. His pelvis was injured, which is really ironic…our daughter was injured at night, at the same place, and one of her significant injuries is her pelvis. Anyway, Wednesday morning Bo had to have surgery, stayed overnight at the vets and yesterday we brought him home to our farm to take care of him.
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Bo is an American bulldog, weighs 55 lbs. and is considered a large dog. Oh, he is not of Great Dane large size (Amanda’s boyfriend does have one of those too.), but he is large and solid. Bringing Bo home from the vets was an experience. When we got him in the car he refused to lie down on his bed and stood with his head on Daddy’s leg the 12 miles or so home. Then once home, he limped around the house for a good while crying and no matter how much coaxing we did, we could not convince him to get on his bed. Finally, our daughter, Amanda, realized Bo wanted up on the couch with her. The end result…Bo on the couch next to Amanda with his head on a pillow…crying ceased…sleep ensued.
The last 18 hours have been all about Bo. This puppy has personality and knows what he wants. And what he wants is companionship. We cannot leave him alone or even sit in a chair where he thinks he is alone or he starts crying! I spent the night in the recliner in the living room with Bo in his place on the couch. He has woke up about every two hours, sat up, searched the room for me, cried until I came over to sit with him, and then he settles down and goes back to sleep. He is not acting that different from a person when they are in pain, or sick, or just had surgery.
During the night watching Bo, brought back the memories of our time in Shock Trauma ICU and how important to us the other two families were. The Ashleys and the Eubank were definitely handpicked by God to be our extended family the month we spent in that waiting room. If we do the math…24 hours a day, multiplied by 7 days a week, multiplied by over 30 days…that is a lot of time spent with two other families. We needed that companionship, the strength that flowed through them from their faith in our God. We were afraid and as Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17 “O Lord, open Then his eyes so he may see.” the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’, so these two families and our own prayed this prayer for us. When we were too afraid and overcome they used their faith to give us courage. Also, because the righteous King was King of their lives they were able to give us spiritual shelter from the howling winds that raged around us. They prayed with us and for us and always spoke encouraging words. God refreshed us using them...”refreshed us as a river in the desert “using their powerful group prayers, which they always opened to everyone, to fill the room with the Holy Spirit. There were times I was so depressed and then their pastor would come in and hold prayer and the roof would be lifted off the top of the building! God would make his presence so real, so here, so now, that we would be on a high for days. Thank you Lord! “Look, a righteous king is coming! And honest princes will rule under him. He will shelter Israel from the storm and the wind. He will refresh her as a river in the desert and as the cool shadow of a large rock in a hot and weary land.” Isaiah 32:1-2
Companionship, friendship, support are essential in life. God loves us so much that he blesses us by bringing the right friends, at the right times into our lives. I am so grateful to God for covering us that very, very long month as we fought not only for Amanda’s life but for our sanity. He knew the friends we needed, especially in those hard times in the middle of the night, were the Ashleys and the Eubanks and thank God that that are such good and faithful servants. I am continually reminded of what a loving and merciful God we serve!
“I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”
John 15:15
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Making us into something better
As the mom and child walked through the garden, they spied a little cocoon. Upon closer observation, they noticed it wiggling and rolling with an unborn butterfly inside trying to break through the cocoon to greet the world outside.
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Under the pair’s watchful eye a tiny hole appeared as the insect began to work its way out. Slowly, before their very eyes the butterfly enlarged the hole and began to squeeze through. But, to the young child it seemed the struggle would never end as the hole seemed far too small for the butterfly to squeeze through. It also seemed that even at one point the insect himself gave up. Hoping to make it easier for the butterfly, the child reached down and tore the small hole in the cocoon completely open thinking the butterfly could escape with ease. The butterfly did emerge from the cocoon but the child nor did mom know what a dreadful mistake had been made. The butterfly did emerge but his head was too large and the wings were too small and brittle. You see, God had designed the cocoon to be difficult to climb out of so that as the butterfly squeezed through the hole, the pressure forced fluids in the insect’s body back into the wings. In reality, it was the struggle that gave the butterfly its wings to fly!
Is it the same for us? I know that God is here with me, but is He making me stronger as I struggle to work my way through the hardships in life? As I wiggle and squirm down the steep hills in life I can have faith that God is always near. And when I grow weak and tired I can stand on his promises to give me strength…Isaiah 40:29…”He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” I certainly don’t know why these trials and tribulations have been cast in my life but a little voice inside me whispers to hang in there for He is growing me into something far better than I was. When I bust out of this cocoon I will have wings not just to fly…they will be wings to soar!
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
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