One bright star that led them to the greatest gift of all...Christmas is almost here!
As I was debating on whether to write a Christmas letter or not the Lord spoke to me through a memory. My daughter, Amanda, my husband and I were driving in the car this week together when Amanda spoke up from the back seat. She spoke so sincerely, so joyfully, so gratefully as she said, "this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Those six small, but sincere, joyful, grateful words immediately made tears spring to my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew that the Lord would have me writing today.
I wrote about those very six small, sincere, joyful, and yes, grateful words back in August of 2005 (August 19, 2005 if you want to archive and reread it). That post was about the joy of my children…how they perceive life and how they have found the joy in the small things. Vacations never had to be big events to the biggest theme parks or cruise ships or exotic places but just simple bike rides and fishing at the beach with Dad.
Christmas was never about the presents but about the traditions and about being together and feeling the love of brother, sister, Mom, Dad, Grammie and Grandpa, their cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. It was about riding every weekend, for years by the Catholic hospital and watch the journey of the wise men making their way across the front of the lawn to the manager on the other side.
This Christmas there is a choice to make. Amanda suffered a near fatal accident on January 26, 2008. She went to the ER 15 times; she is walking around with the front of her pelvic bones crushed and has an open book pelvic fracture that cannot be fixed. She has no stomach muscles, those have retracted to her sides and only the thin top layer of her skin is closed over her stomach. She will be going back into surgery in February and it will be a big surgery on her abdomen and she will be back in Shock Trauma, a stay in the hospital, and then some months at home recuperation and then therapy. She is not looking forward to this, I am not looking forward to this, her father is not looking forward to this, and her brother is not looking forward to this. We all have issues!
Then there is her brother…on October 31 he bought a little house and is working night and day. He is also planning on getting married the first week in April 2009. He is so busy working for the city and county fire departments and taking extra fire department training classes that he meets himself coming and going. At the same time his bride-to-be just started school at MCG training to give patients their radiology treatments for cancer. She is very busy with her schooling and planning a wedding. Russell and Ashley only get snatches of time with each other, we only get snatches of time with them and none of us think we get enough time with each other!
Then there is Russell…yes, normally everything stays the same with him. Only not this year. Since Amanda has come home from the hospital he has lost his job not once but twice. Oh, yes…just ask him how the economy is…he would be glad to give you an earful. Yes, for the second time since June he has lost his job and that is not an easy pill to swallow.
WAIT!!! I bet you are wondering where the inspiring Christmas letter is. Oh, it is here! Remember in the fourth paragraph when I said we have a choice? In that post back in August of 2005 I was thinking that maybe my children were teaching me. My children were the example of seeing things the way God wants us to see them…JOYFULLY! I wrote back then “could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiasm and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Do not worry my wonderful friends and family…I have learned “this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I know that Amanda was not supposed to live and my Lord and Savior saved her for a wonderful, wonderful, purpose sometime in her life. She was not supposed to walk, but she has been healed and walks. I know my Lord and Savior has her walking and has a wonderful, a wonderful purpose for her sometime in her life. Her surgeon is the best of the best and her physician is the holiest of holies. Our God, our Father who has been with us carrying us through this ordeal (most of the time on his back) will be with Amanda in the operating room and be with her Dad, me, brother, and his fiancee while we wait on her to come out of surgery. He again will stay by our side during all the phases of recovery and we will not only heal and come through this but we will grow and our faith will deepen and our relationship with each other and with our family and friends and the hundreds of believers who have been constant in their prayers for Amanda will strengthen us and bind us together in a miraculous way that only the heavens can do. She also is in love with Alex and he with her (the young man that was with her in the truck when they hit the deer). He is so committed to her and will be with us every step of the way also. And the reason she was saying this was the best Christmas ever was because he had bought her a puppy for Christmas and she was beside herself with joy. What happiness a couple of wet, sloppy licks from a puppy can bring! It will also be great company for her when she is laid up recuperating.
I am a mother that has a heart bursting with pride for my young man. Young Russ is building his career, building an honest and hardworking reputation. He is learning to provide for a wife and a future family. He works and lives very close to us so it is not a problem to run by to visit him if he is on overload. His fiancée is a wonderful young woman who loves him very much and also works hard and wants very much to have an education so that she can help Russell provide for the family while he continues his education. I love them both very much and am very proud of them and how hard they are working to be responsible young adults. They have good friends, they are building their spiritual life together and we are all looking forward to the joy of their wedding day! I know no matter how hard I try I will cry…sorry you guys!
Praise God for my husband! I am going to say it again…Praise God for my husband! This year has been so hard on him and maybe God knows better than the rest of us. Maybe he needs a rest…maybe I need some time with him (I stayed the whole three months in the hospital with Amanda). Amanda and Daddy have been doing lots together…cooking, walking the dog, going to the store, taking care of school business….maybe Amanda needs time with him. Now he can run over to the fire station to see his son…maybe his son needs him. Oh, I don’t know what the reason is but even though as far as money times are tough I see good things happening. I can really “count it all joy!” I know for me that “you turned my wailing into dancing and that you have clothed me with joy”. I know Lord that you will provide somehow, someway for our family and that we will continue to see your hands of protection over us. I know that you will provide just the right job at the right time for my husband and that until then “my heart will sing to you and not be silent and I will continue to give you thanks”.
At this Christmas time, this time of miracles, this time when “One bright star led them to the greatest gift of all” I want to thank each and everyone of you for your miracle…your miracle of joy, of your commitment to us, of praying for us, for loving us, for caring for us, for serving us, for visiting us, for inquiring about us, but most of all for sharing with us in the love of our King of Kings that came to greet us here on earth…in a lowly manager, as a tiny baby, but filled with hope, joy, and peace to pass on to us all!
Hope, joy, and peace to you all this Christmas…Trina
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Belonging to Many
Amanda, her dad and I were at the hospital for an appointment with Amanda’s shock trauma doctor. As we were sitting in the waiting area, just separated by the hospital hallway by an archway, I heard a woman’s voice call out my name. To my pleasant surprise it was Miss Jackie, the secretary from the operating room at the hospital. Miss Jackie was one of those people who knew all that Amanda had been through. She was the first one we would see every time we had to come down to the operating room which was about a dozen or so times. Miss Jackie was the person who placed us in a cubby hole or “holding” as they call it…the last step to the operating room. She always knew what Amanda was having done and because Miss Jackie worked in the OR she pretty much knew Amanda’s condition. She always would smile at me; tell me the best team was ready to go, and that her and her whole church was praying for Amanda.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
I have thought a lot about what drew me to Miss Jackie and I always felt that even though she didn’t know Amanda (at least up until the accident), she loved Amanda. Somehow when she told me she was praying for Amanda I really, really believed her…not like it was just the proper thing to say.
Up until this afternoon when she called my name from the hallway, the last time we saw her was when Amanda when down to the OR to have her metal rods removed from her hips. It was at this time that she was also infected with MRSA (staff infection). Miss Jackie was as usual, smiling, encouraging, so very king and loving…and of course, reassuring telling me that everything was going to be alright and that she and her church were praying. When I heard her say Mrs. Barnes, I jumped up, pulled her into the waiting area eager for her to see Amanda. What took me totally by surprise was her response. When she spotted Amanda she was overcome…totally overcome! She said several times that she thought Amanda was DEAD!...as she kept repeating this tears just streamed down her cheeks.
I was startled and speechless. Hearing her words and seeing her reaction knocked the sense right out of me. But as the tears streamed down Miss Jackie’s cheeks incredible joy came over me. I asked Amanda to stand and show Miss Jackie what God had done for us…she stood and walked for Miss Jackie! What a miracle to see the look on Miss Jackie’s face…she cried and pointed to the sky. She kept saying “HE did this, HE healed her. HE brought her back to life!” We laughed, all four of us, we cried, we hugged, and she told us how worried they were about Amanda the last time we came down to the operating room. When we didn’t come down anymore they thought the infection had gotten to her and Amanda had died. Miss Jackie said that she knew how serious Amanda’s injuries were and knew it was in God’s hands.
Well, Amanda didn’t die as Miss Jackie thought but Amanda was in God’s hands and she is a miracle. One thing I came to realize is that Amanda doesn’t just belong to me and her Daddy, and her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins in this life anymore.. she belongs to a whole bunch of people. She belongs to Miss Jackie who cares for her deeply. She belongs to the doctors and nurses who formed a close bond with her as they used their skill and knowledge and training to fight for her life, she belongs to the staff and others in the hospital who came to know and love Amanda as they cared for her and us and did their best to serve us and meet our needs in the hospital, she belongs to the families who prayed with us in the dark, desperate hours, days, and weeks at the beginning when Amanda was in ICU. She belongs to the members of the churches, the Sunday school classes, the prayer meetings, the women’s groups, the school children, all that were faithful to hold Amanda up during this time of trial and tribulation. God has given Amanda to a huge number on people on this earth…some she knows and many more she doesn’t. But they know her, they love her, they care about her and they love God more because they have seen God work through her. WHAT A MIRACLE!
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”.
Galatians 4:14 “and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself”.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Preparing the way
In those dark hours the first few days of my daughter Amanda's accident I was told a story....
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
There was an elderly woman, in her seventies, who was unable to sleep during the late night hours of January 25 and the early morning hours of January 26. Let's call her Martha to make the story easier for us to follow. She had turned on a police scanner and was listening to the local emergency calls.
Amanda's accident happened at approximately 1:35 a.m. Saturday, January 26, 2008. The 911 call came in at 2:02 a.m. Martha's scanner picked up the call to the First Responders. Over the next few hours there was a lot of confusion and a lot of intimate chatter over the airwaves. Martha and her scanner kept abreast of every bit of it. The First Responders were not prepared and did not have adequate equipment to deal with Amanda's injuries. EMTs from the county the accident was in and also the neighboring county were called in but there was a lack of manpower to go around. They lost time and the situation was becoming more critical with the loss of precious time as they tried to get men and equipment. They had to saw trees and remove debris from her and then try to haul her out of a six-foot ditch without injuring her anymore as she bled out and complained of her back hurting. All the emergency people, from the police to the EMTs, thought that Amanda was going to die on the scene and said that over the airwaves and within earshot of Amanda. Martha heard them, too. Martha from the start, 2:03 a.m. was praying that God would have mercy on Amanda, would be with her and would comfort her and take care of her. You see Martha was a spirit filled christian...she had a very personal relationship with Jesus and she knew Amanda needed him! She prayed down on her knees, before any emergency help came to the scene, through getting her into the ambulance, through transporting Amanda across town to meet the helicopter. She prayed as the helicopter flew 50 miles to the medical center and landed on the landing pad of the hospital. It was then that she lost contact with the chatter from the scanner. Amanda was taken into the hospital. That was 4:49 a.m. January 26, 2008.
This faithful servant didn't stop there. She stayed on her knees, feeling the Holy Spirit telling her to continue to pray. Little did Martha know that we had arrived, not knowing what had happened, just that we needed to get to the hospital immediately, at 4:50 a.m. and told that she was taken into emergency surgery. We found out later that she had to be resuscitated. Martha prayed feverishly until about 10 a.m. then went to her grandson's home and enlisted her grandson and his wife (a young couple in their late twenties). The three of them prayed until around 2 p.m. when the wife of the grandson received a call from her mother telling her of Amanda's accident. We were notified that Amanda had come through multiple surgeries and would be taken into the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT soon to see her...that was at 2:30 p.m. January 26, 2008. You see we did not know Martha or the grandson but had grown up with the granddaughter-in-law and her mother. I think the Lord orchestrated this link so that the story would get back to us to offer us comfort, peace, and to show us his compassion, power and righteousness!
This is a true story...before we, Amanda's parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, priest, friends, all the circle of believers that we would call on to storm heaven with prayers for mercy, protection, deliverance, healing, and God's will...God, who knows all, see all, covers all for his purpose, had chosen a messenger and had Martha on her knees before the Lord! "I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare your way before you." Malachi 3:1/Matthew 11:10. Martha is a committed christian who in obedience and righteousness stepped out to cry out to the Lord for Amanda who also loves the Lord..."The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.." Psalm 145:17-20a. And because Amanda was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he created her inmost being God loves her more than we can fathom and has a distinct plan...the scripture that He gave to me as Amanda's banner back in April of 2007 after her head-on-collision..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom! I will tell of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness! And thank you dear sweet Saint Martha!!!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Not Just a Number!
I have a thing about hair. I have always wanted and kept long hair, enjoyed all the ways you can style and wear long hair, and even enjoy caring and brushing my hair.
When I first met my husband he had long, dark, thick hair (he has some Cherokee Indian genes). I was envious of how thick and dark his hair was. My daughter was born with a head full of her daddy's dark hair. As she grew, it took on a beautiful auburn red color with sparkling gold highlights when the sun hit it as if it was dusted with gold....thick and beautiful! My son's hair got much attention from me also but for the opposite reason. He was born bald and it wasn't until about 2 years of age that he grew any hair. But when he did it was the cutest blonde curls you could imagine. Not exactly boyish but remember he was a toddler. I loved those curls and couldn't keep my hands from stroking those little curls that covered that head!
Over the past year God has been helping me to dealing with totally putting my trust in him. Most of you know that this year has been a real test for me and my family...my daughter in April of 2007 was hit head-on in her car, then in July of 2007 she had to have emergency surgery, and then again she was in a devastating truck accident, that almost took her life, this January. My son works on two fire departments and is in EMT school, and my husband, who hasn't been without a job since he was 14 years old, has been laid off twice in the last 2 years! Yes, God is doing something in our lives and we are either going to sink or swim and we are swimming like crazy right now!
Anyway, God reminded me of this very small scripture in the book of Matthew but it shouted out to me. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31
God knows of everything that happens even to the sparrows and he tells us that we are much more important than they are. We are of so much value to him that he knows the number of every hair on our heads! WOW! Because God places such worth, such value on us we should never fear difficult trials. These can't turn God's love from us.
When I first met my husband he had long, dark, thick hair (he has some Cherokee Indian genes). I was envious of how thick and dark his hair was. My daughter was born with a head full of her daddy's dark hair. As she grew, it took on a beautiful auburn red color with sparkling gold highlights when the sun hit it as if it was dusted with gold....thick and beautiful! My son's hair got much attention from me also but for the opposite reason. He was born bald and it wasn't until about 2 years of age that he grew any hair. But when he did it was the cutest blonde curls you could imagine. Not exactly boyish but remember he was a toddler. I loved those curls and couldn't keep my hands from stroking those little curls that covered that head!
Over the past year God has been helping me to dealing with totally putting my trust in him. Most of you know that this year has been a real test for me and my family...my daughter in April of 2007 was hit head-on in her car, then in July of 2007 she had to have emergency surgery, and then again she was in a devastating truck accident, that almost took her life, this January. My son works on two fire departments and is in EMT school, and my husband, who hasn't been without a job since he was 14 years old, has been laid off twice in the last 2 years! Yes, God is doing something in our lives and we are either going to sink or swim and we are swimming like crazy right now!
Anyway, God reminded me of this very small scripture in the book of Matthew but it shouted out to me. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31
God knows of everything that happens even to the sparrows and he tells us that we are much more important than they are. We are of so much value to him that he knows the number of every hair on our heads! WOW! Because God places such worth, such value on us we should never fear difficult trials. These can't turn God's love from us.
The next time you run your hand through your hair or run your hand through the hair of your family member, the next time you brush your child's hair, or fix your husband's unruly locks, turn your eyes up toward the Father and thank him for having all those hairs numbered...for that is not just a number...that is a heap of love, worth, and protection!
"This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it--the Lord is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:2-3Saturday, March 22, 2008
From broken to joyous...
Today in the life of the church is the Easter Vigil. What a difference today must of been for the disciples after the shock and grief over the death of their beloved Savior.
Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".
God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).
Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.
And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.
I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Happy Easter to you all!
Yesterday, as part of God's plan, the disciples and the crowd, there at the cross, were invited to look upon the most heart wrenching sight of all times....Jesus Christ being crucified...our Lord being crushed, taunted, oppressed, stricken. "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins...But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all" (Isaiah 53:5,6). There was our Lord, suffering isolation, pain, brokenness. The suffering, the pain, the hurt, wasn't just Friday morning...it had happened over a period of time...and he knew it was coming and yet he had to trust in his Father's plan. He was misunderstood and even those close to him were falling away near the end. Nowadays we call times like those "desperate".
God has been good to me to give me lessons in my life that have such meaning that they are hard to forget..."Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Back in April of 2007, a very good friend and I started to pray together for the protection of our children (we were struggling with totally handing them over to the Lord). That is when the Lord gave me the scripture that became not only Amanda's banner of protection over her, but also a word of comfort, promise, and a teachable lesson to me..."For I have plans for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper, not to harm. Plans for hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). So, when the accident happened the early morning of January 26, 2008, I knew God had a plan and what that plan was...just like Jesus knew that God had a plan and what that plan was when he sent him down to this earth. During this time of trial and tribulation, we have had to draw our strength and lean on God, our Father, going to him often in pray...just like Jesus had his trials and had to be with his Father in pray.."One of those days, Jesus went out to the mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). And then on Friday we had the worst day I, Amanda, and my family have ever experienced. When we were in ICU and Amanda was between life and death the days were tough, but we were in shock and so you floated from one day to another. Here on the trauma floor we have so much to deal with. By Friday, we felt so much had happened...Amanda was in so much pain and suffering greatly, we felt isolated, abandoned, betrayed, unwanted, BEATEN! How our feelings in a small way parallels what Jesus must have felt on Friday also.."Abba, Father", he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36).
Yet, what happened on Friday doesn't stop with the darkness that covered us for some hours...like it did Jesus.."It was about the sixth hour, and the darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining" (Luke 23:44). Remember way back to my first statement that there must have been such a difference today after all the grief watching Jesus die? When Mary magdalene and her friend and the disciples realized that Jesus was alive as he foretold them they must have been radiant. They must have been filled with such joy that they could hardly contain themselves to see that God's plan had unfolded just the way Jesus had told them even though they didn't quite understand it all at the time. And what joy Jesus must have been experiencing...knowing he was one with his Father. Joy, healing, oneness, deliverance...some words that describe what took place after that ninth hour on Good Friday.
And for us, too! Late Friday afternoon the orthopedic doctor that we have been waiting to see for 6 long weeks paid us a visit. It is not important what he said, instead what is important is God's mercy, God's joy, God's healing, God's deliverance, and God's oneness. It was like at our ninth hour God decided to "tear the curtain" and bring us an "Easter miracle". The doctor didn't have any life changing news but what he did was let God speak through him. God gave us back joy, delivered us from fear and isolation, he made us feel loved and cared for, he reminded us of His plan and that NO HARM will come to Amanda. Through this doctor he drew us close back to Him and held us in his arms and we felt NO separation from our God! KINDA LIKE JESUS DON'T YOU THINK! What a difference there is between the black cloud of Friday and the joy of EAster and what a lesson God has taught me. I feel like I have walk as much in the sandals of Jesus as I can being a human in 2008 and all. I feel closer and have a deeper love for my Saviour today...I also have more JOY today. And my faith has grown.
I have been learning soooo much! This is an Easter weekend I will never forget and I thank my God and my Saviour for loving me enough to let me walk alittle in my Lord and Saviour's shoes. I love my Jesus for his trials and tribulations and for his endurance and I love my God for his plan for my redemption. I also love my God for Amanda and for his steadfastness and for bringing us from broken to joyous!
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Happy Easter to you all!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Suffering but not separated...
God has moved me to take the time to quietly sit down and once again share with all of you what HE has laid upon my heart.
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
For those of you who do not know, my daughter, Amanda (age 24), was involved in a devastating truck accident at 1:45 a.m., Jan. 26, 2008. A deer ran out in front of the truck she was a passenger in. She was thrown out of the passenger window into a 6 ft. ditch, a pine tree fell on her and as the truck spun through the woods it sheared scrub trees into the ditch on top of her. She was literally buried in that ditch. From the time of the 911 call to the time she landed on the roof of the hospital in the helicopter, her rescue took 3 hours, which in contrast is only a 50 minute car ride.
When she arrived at the acute trauma hospital, with us just minutes behind, her condition was critical. One of the doctors came by the other day and shared with me about those first few minutes. Upon Amanda's arrival...it was just the seasoned trauma surgeon and himself...he said they were devastated. They didn't expect her to survive the surgeries they and other teams would have to perform, little less survive the trauma done to her body. She had a death blood pressure even though she had managed to stay conscious throughout the whole emergency...only losing consciousness when going into the operating room. She had multiple teams of surgeons working on her...trauma, urology, gynocology, gastrointestinal, cardiology, etc. Amanda was taken into surgery around 5 a.m and it was sometime after 2p.m. that afternoon before we received word that she made it through surgery but would be critical for sometime. She stayed on the critical list for 14 days before listed as guarded. Even after that 14 days, Amanda's life was still threatened by bloodclots, infections, and other complications that were not directly from the injuries but from complications from the surgeries and healing.
Hence, this Saturday, at 5 a.m. we will have been in the hospital for 8 weeks...2 months. She has abdominal issues that go along with her intestines and bowel being severed, her bladder was cut in two, she had 15 units of blood and 7 operations. Her pelvis is crushed in the front, broken in the back and broken at the left hip socket. She has 4 metal pins drilled into her pelvic bones at the hips, which at this point are infected, and an X-fixator that looks like a metal tower rising from her stomach. She was open from her pelvis to her breast bone but when she was closed up the layer of muscle or tissue under the skin called the fascia had retracted to her sides. Therefore, they could only pull the skin closed and so her whole stomach is one big hernia. That will have to be closed at some later time.
I didn't want, at this posting, to go into all the details of Amanda's accident and yet I found myself writing a book. You get the point, so I will stop myself in the middle of all this and leave it for some other time. God has something else in mind for this post!
The last 8 weeks have held very little balance for me. We have lived in some kind of surreal bubble life...life being centered around doctors, nurses, tests and results, medications, etc.. We have very little concept of what is happening outside the walls of this hospital having only been home 3 times in the last 8 weeks. We haven't heard the birds chirp or sat in the warm sun..we have missed the first flowers pushing their little heads up through the ground looking toward the warmth of spring. We have missed that beautiful green carpet that comes in spring that covers the pastures that only God can put down. But, yet coming into this Holy Week I felt a special kind of stirring. That quiet, gentle, loving voice of God. God had told me about a year ago to boldly proclaim a scripture as a banner over Amanda for her protection. "For I have a plan for my dear Amanda", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper not to harm, plans for hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I have been praying this scripture for almost a year now. It has become clear to me what God means when he speaks of prospering and not harming!
God had to allow his son to go through some terrible, cruel, hurtful, and yes, physically painful times. But, we know, especially because of this week that we celebrate...Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday...that it was all for such great meaning and purpose! Jesus was going to be taken up to heaven and joined back together as one with His father. The world was going to be redeemed for all sin forever. All of us, from generation to generation, would and will have the opportunity for life eternal. The plan for Jesus through all the hurt, through the suffering, and the pain was not harm but to prosper, was for hope, and a future! And because this was God's plan, God was right there with JEsus every moment, through every pain, through all the suffering and agony. Jesus might have had to suffer to prosper but he was never harmed....Jesus had his Father, his strength, his maker, his creator, the architect of his plan with him at all times. Jesus had to suffer but he was never separated from the love of the Father.
Amanda will not be the Saviour of the world...she won't be redeeming all from sin forever...but as sure as I am a female God has a plan for her and hope and a future! God spoke to me almost a year ago, gently and lovingly and told me Amanda would not be harmed! My God, Amanda's God, has plans for her in this life...plans to prosper...plans for hope and a future. Yes, Amanda has trauma, hardship, pain....but her loving Father is with her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of the rest of her life and beyond because she will suffer but will never be separated from her God!
Thank you all for your prayers and support in this time of need. Please continue to offer Amanda up in prayer as she has a long recovery ahead and will continue to need your spiritual support. Our family has felt the love that has been showered upon us and from the bottom of our hearts it has meant the world to us. The prayers, cards, visits, phone calls, meals, and words of encouragement passed on by word of mouth. It has lifted us up and strengthened our faith. God bless each and everyone of you! The Barnes Family
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