Grocery shopping...trials and tribulations.

Today is Friday, the day I will go to the grocery store. I haven't been grocery shopping all week long. Believe me withdrawal is hard! We live in a small town and to grocery shop we have only have two choices... yes, there are still things that give you limited choices even in this day and age...Wal-Mart superstore and our friendly Bi-Lo store.

My husband and I will go grocery shopping together. We have been doing it that way for as long as we have been married. During the first twenty some years it worked out that way because he was a fireman and worked twenty- four hour shifts. He would take us all to the grocery store and push the children around in the buggy(showing off the litttle ones), or just keep them occupied (pridefully accepting all compliments given him by all the ladies in the store who thought this was such a sweet thing). This gave him time with the children and he also felt like he was helping me since he was gone so much. Remember we are a family of traditions and once we start a habit we find it hard to change so we are still grocery shopping together and today will be the day but not without some trials and tribulations!!!!

Trials and tribulations going grocery shopping you say.....Yes, believe it or not! The problem is that my husband and I see grocery shopping totally different. He thinks we go out of necessity, for me it is somewhat a social event. Haven't you gone to Wal-Mart in the middle of the day and observed little groups of women standing together and talking about...the trip out boating over the weekend, the dinner party they went to, Mom's surgery and how she is recovering...?! And there is another thing I noticed; if it is only out of necessity for us women then why do most moms make it there several times a week? We go to the OBGYN out of necessity and I don't know about you but there is no way you could get me there several times a week.When we go shopping Russell wants to go in, get what we need (he has been trying for years to get me to take lists), and get out. On the other hand, the minute I hit the doors and the little elderly lady asks me how I am today, the socializing starts.

Here is the picture...I stop to exchange pleasantries and off goes my husband, buggy in tow, and ready to take care of business so we can get "the heck out of there". After politely discussing the weather, lack of buggies at the door, and the price of gas going up, I then, am on the search for my husband. You see he has gotten away with my buggy and my purse. Upon finding each other, which usually takes several circles around the store(and these stores aren't small), and at least fifteen minutes, we try to agree not to get separated again. He then asks me to get my shopping list out, (which I have not written and therefore cannot produce), and we discuss how much more efficient the shopping would be if I had a list. I have to agree with him because he has a point, but I am secretly thinking how, again, I got away without bringing a list and now we happily have to travel up every aisle. As we journey up each and every isle (it is the same questions and answers on all isles), we discuss the need for those particular name brands versus the store brands..I will not use any mayo other than Kraft...how many of each item we need....do we really need three boxes of cereal...which items yield more per cent....family size tea bags versus regular size bags. During our discussions we always seem to bump into someone we know. If it is someone my husband knows, they get a "Hey, buddy. How's it going, man?". Then they are off on their own journeys with their own wives. But, if it is someone I know, protocol dictates we stop, give each other a hug, inquire about each other's children and husband, then proceed to discuss some world problem....did you hear that they brought drug dogs into the local school to do a spot check? How frightening that must of been for the children! Aren't we so glad we are homeschooling!?...Of course, discussing world problems cannot be done as quickly as a "Hey man", so, seeing the handwriting on the wall my husband wanders off to pick up some of the items he knows we need. After, a thorough discussion and arriving at a solution to problem...HOMESCHOOL, HOMESCHOOL, HOMESCHOOL...we decide to return back to the task at hand...what was that..oh, yes grocery shopping. My husband has brought several items back to the buggy only to be informed that he has selected a brand that we don't use or that we usually purchase the next larger size. I also ask his forgiveness for holding us up and at that moment I am really sorry but boy, does socialization turn ones head! I do my best to stay on task until the next friend comes along and then I fall back into that all too well known trap...socializing. We finally make it through the store, with a full buggy, and ready (my husband is realllly ready) to check out. There again is a chance to grow....I like my groceries put on the conveyer belt by catagories. You know, all the household items together, all the frozen items together, all the food items at the beginning and the household and personal items at the back. Russell sees only a need to get the buggy unloaded.I have noticed that every time I start organizing what he has unloaded from the buggy, he whispers for me to go and keep an eye on the scanning of the items to see if they are coming up correctly. It took me awhile to figure this out... hey, my chickens may be alittle scattered about, but I didn't fall off the hay truck yesterday. Watching the scanning keeps me from organizing during the buggy unloading process. The cashier announces the total amount...dollar and cents...and Russell always jokes with her saying, "We have the dollars but my wife says I have no cents (sense)." That always brings, at the least, a smile to the face of the cashier. It is also my husbands way of socialization. No matter how it goes, as we push a loaded buggy out the door, I resist the temptation to stop one last time to reinforce to the little lady at the door what a good job she is doing. Instead, we both give a friendly wave, one of us calls out to have a "good day", and we are on our way remarking on what a good shopping trip that was.

Our relationship with God is alot like our shopping trip. In my shopping trips and at times, in our relationship with our Father, we want to do it OUR way. We sometimes fight openly to handle things our way or at other times, like my non-list writing, our rebellion is a little more subtle. God's word instructs us time and time again to do it His way..to be obedient to Him. "Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, promised you". Deuteronomy 6:3. Not only does he instruct us to be obedient but he also promises great blessing when we do. Remember how Russell and I get separated once we get to the store? Sometimes during our walk with the Lord, out of being weak, sinful, humans, we get separated from God. Since we are christians, I am not talking about a permanent separation. I am referring to those times when deep in our hearts we are calling to him but feel like we are not connected. "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour". We are commanded to rejoice no matter how we feel because this is God's reminder that no trouble on earth can dethrone the King of kings or separate us from Him and His love, that a great victory has been won, and that we are on the winning team. Another lesson God has shown me is to keep on trying...we all ask for forgiveness and then seem to make the same mistake again. We are, in fact, human and our Father is well aware of this. He doesn't need perfection, He wants a willing heart, a heart that keeps trying. "Not that I have already obtained this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me....Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus". Philippians 3:12-14. And lastly, there is a lesson of thankfulness. Despite all the differences between my husband and I we love each other deeply, know that all problems can be resolved, and at the end of the day focus on the best in each other. Doesn't this sound like our God and King?! He loves us deeply, and there is no problem we can't bring to Him. There is no problem that doesn't have an answer, and no matter how we act or what we do or do not do, at the end of the day, the fact remains the same...He sees the best in us and loves us. "I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine...be glory". Ephesians 3:17-21. Thank you, Lord.

So, for at least in this one matter, the here will not be very different from the after. We will get our grocery shopping done today. I will, once again, leave the house with new resolve to try to be not so difficult. For the sake of my husband who loves me very much I will take a list. For my Father who loves me wider, and longer and deeper than is imaginable...to Him I give all honor and glory and praise forever and ever.

JOY!!

Risen Lord,
In you I find my joy. In the brillance of the summer sun, in the tinkle of a soft steady rain, in the determination of a tiny humming bird sipping nectar, in the complexity, yet simplicity, of the sunflowers smiling at the warm summer days... as Creator and Master you have shown me JOY in the simple moments of each and every day! Your JOY has filled me to overflowing. You gave me life and filled that life with dedicated, loving parents who have trained me in the way I should go...inherited JOY. You have given me a brother and sisters that love me and have been on your journey for me from my beginnings...abundant JOY. In my adult life you have blessed me with a commited, loving husband and two wonderful, God following children that have given me JOY and love that knows no bounds...boundless JOY. You have given me a love and appreciation for all the little things in life...simple JOY. But most of all you gave me the cross, the redemption for all my sins and, in turn, the washing of me into a new creature...a creation filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowing with your love and JOY....overflowing JOY...for YOU, with YOU, and forever YOU.

Your humble child.....

The First Day of School

This is how the first day of school went....Mommy (that's me ), arose around 5:30 a.m. Great, I have enough time to dress and apply some make-up. I briskly applied my make-up, tossled my hair and dressed in a red and white checked sundress. I chose the red and white dress with the thought that it had a rather cheerful and celebratory look to it. The next item on my list was to make my bed, which I did in record time. Wow, are we on track, make-up, hair, dressed, and bed made and right on time! Thank you Lord for making my arms long enough to reach over my shoulder so I can pat myself on the back. Then it was off to wake the children. We had picked out the appropriate clothes last night and left them hanging on the doors of their rooms. That decision was already taken care of. As I woke the children up, I gave them instrucions to dress and then meet me in the kitchen with their bookbags, which were also packed with the school assigned items of glittered pencils, paper, glue sticks, kleenex, some handy wipes and a special first day note from Mom. As I prepared their fruit cup, scrambled their eggs, and buttered their toast I had to smile to myself, knowing it was either that or tears, and there would be no tears today! The children were prompt in dressing and arrived in the kitchen at the same moment I was pouring their juice. We blessed the food, also asking for God's grace over us and especially the teachers and proceeded to eat our breakfast. Before we knew it, we were done with breakfast, had one more round of teeth brushing, got packed in the mini-van, lunch boxes and bookbags in hand. Off we went, on time, and in shape to arrive just a tad early. It is just a short drive to school, only about 15 minutes or so, which gave me just enough time to go over a few last minute instructions. I did my best to reassure them and to remind them that I would be picking them up right outside the front door. Before I knew it we were pulling up in car line and children were bailing out of minivan and SUV by the dozens. I put the van in park and walked around to the passenger's side, the whole time reminding myself not to cry, FOR THEIR SAKE ! They jumped out, adjusting their bookbags on their shoulders, when they spied some little friends. In a moment of time there was a shout, a wave, a kiss blown my way, and off they went.........only my children are not going to first grade..it's their first day at COLLEGE!

Now this is how it really went....I was awakened from a very pleasant deep sleep. What is that....Keith Urban belting out his newest hit via GAC on my bedroom T.V., loud enough to be heard in my bathroom over the hum of the blow dryer. As I attempted to get my bearings, I decided to get coffee first, ask questions later. I stumbled out of bed in my Old Navy tank and oversized p.j. pants. They were twisted up somehow and caused me to stumble...at least this wasn't the pair that are a little too snug and give you that constant wedgey. Determined to make it to the coffee maker, I stiffly hobbled toward the kitchen. Before I made it to the door, Amanda's head popped out of the bathroom...Keith Urban had completed his hit and she was probably looking to see who would be up next in case there was a need to switch the channel to CMT. She greeted me with, "Hey Mom, up so early! Russ (her younger brother and best friend) is in my bathroom so I hope you don't mind me doing my hair in here." I threw her a little wave muttering about needing a cup of coffee and letting her know that she could have my bathroom for the time being. As I neared the coffee pot, I realized that the kids had gotten to it first with their "Friends" style mugs, you know the ones, they look like a flower pot and hold about 1/2 gallon at one time. Russ passed through with his usual upbeat manner, giving me a morning peck on the cheek and inquired about how I had slept. Making a decision not to comment about being woke up to Keith Urban...he probably heard the music in his room...I proceded to let him know I slept fine and we touched on what his schedule was for the day. After grinding more coffee beans and brewing a full 12 cups of coffee... that might get me a least one cup...I headed back to my room to sip my coffee and make an attempt to get a handle on Amanda's schedule. Asking Amanda a few questions in between her questions about how her hair looked... is it too flat on top, too puffy on the sides, are the highlights fading.....(you learn with daughters the best answer is the question, "What do you think?"), I still wasn't sure if I knew how she was coming home, when she was coming home and if she would be needing lunch or dinner. Russ, by this time had come to sit on the foot of my bed and very gently let me know that this was the third time I had questioned them...this happens in your forties...you can't remember asking the questions, getting the answers, or even what questions you wanted to ask.

The morning continued in a bustle of activity, questions from Amanda about which earrings and shoes looked best, Russ trying to download music to listen to on the way to school...(it takes them about 40 minutes to get to school since we live in the country)..poptarts being popped and and more questions from me sprinkled with unneeded but respectly heard advice on sitting near the front of the class, being sure to take good notes, using any little breaks in the day to get a handle on your homework, etc....My questions paid off and I discovered that Russ would not have class until around 11:00, but would be leaving around 8:30, so he could troll (a term his father came up with) around school for awhile having a little social time. He would be home around 1:45, need lunch and then be on his way to his job. We set 8:30 for his dinner and I showed great restraint in not mentioning the fact that that leaves either a very late night for studying or no studying tonight at all and college is all about time management. Amanda had a friend Adam, (actually he is a "Russ' friend" spillover), picking her up and I couldn't help but remind her that she could ride with her brother, but apparently riding in Adam's shiny jet black Camero has, for now, put Adam or at least his car one up on her brother and his silver Ford Ranger. At around 8:10a.m.,with my nose stuck to the window like a kid looking in a candy shop, I observed Adam driving down the dirt drive in Amanda's sleek black ride. Thank goodness Adam came down the drive slowly and carefully and had the manners to come into the house. I am afraid if he had just honked the horn for her, at least on this first time, black, sleek or not she would be riding in the silver Ford Ranger. Rushing into the kitchen hoping for an inconspicuous way to caution Adam to drive carefully, I was greeted politely with a hello Mrs. Barnes. The three chatted for just a minute or two about the price of books, lack of books due to price, and strategy from the boys on how to use "poor boy" sympathy on a cute girl in order to gain access to textbooks. Now, that I reflect, I don't know if the strategy is to use the book thing to get to know cute girls or get to know cute girls to save money on books. It really doesn't matter since Russ has his books. Anyway, while I was in my fog state trying to figure this one out, I realized Amanda and Adam where going out the door. Running to the door all I was able to yell out, without looking totally stupid, was please drive carefully... no sermons, no guilt trips, no statistics on how many accidents are caused by talking on cell phones while driving. But, all is not lost....Russ was still in the house so I was able to inflict on him all that I was unable to inflict on Amanda and Adam. And there it is....the first day of a new semster in college, a quiet house for me, and looking ahead to longer days of quiet than I have ever experienced.

Oh, I know how blessed I am and that through God's mercy this is a gradual change in life. My kids still live at home and so they are still around. They are also very, very intuitive and have shown a gentleness and understanding toward us that brings tears to my eyes. They seem to understand that this is something all parents go through and they are doing everything they can to make it easier on us. To my mind comes one of my favorite and most comforting scriptures, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6. Again and again he is reassuring us as in Isaiah 43: 1b-3, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass by the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God." In verses 18-19a God is telling us of new and great things ahead of us..."Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" I have always enjoyed the hustle and bustle of homeschooled life, of children around all day long, of doing things together, and being an important part of my kids life in the here. Oh, I know I am still important (just need my heart to catch up with my head), just needed in a different way....the boundaries have fallen for me....in a place a little different in the after. Here's to every mother on their children's first day of school. May God be with you and bless you!

The Best Ever!!!

All my adult life I have loved mornings. To me they have always symbolized a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate. In the here, I usually jump out of bed, fairly early, and a little voice inside me proclaims that this day will be the BEST EVER! Well, "the leaf doesn't fall far from the tree"....or if you prefer.."the hen doesn't sit far from her chicks"..or .."the bee doesn't buzz far from the honey"...what in the world am I talking about?! Let's try this again....My children, after every Christmas, every vacation, every birthday, have proclaimed to me that this is the BEST EVER!

We, as a family have taken some pretty great vacations, the family trip to western Canada, when we went to a family reunion with their grandparents, all their aunts and uncles and cousins. That was their first time flying and it was an awesome trip all the way around.There was also the missions trip to Mexico and the trip to Haiti. These, of course stand out, but I am talking about the yearly trips to Hilton Head Island just 2 1/2 hours away. We don't do anything great or wonderful, we always stay at the same place, and over the last twenty years have pretty much the same routine.When the children were really young, we just swam in the pool and stayed out on the beach.When the age of the children reach "double digits" the boys began surf-fishing and Amanda and I rent bikes and then we make a dozen or so trips each moring to the Java Hut for coffee. The trick, which we have never mastered, is getting a full cup of coffee, which is placed in the wire bike basket, back to the boys and still have enough in the cup for them to drink. Hence, the dozen or so trips each morning. It works out that they get their morning cup of coffee one sip at a time. It also pretty well fills up the morning for Amanda and me. We usually go out for one very nice dinner somewhere but most of the time we are just together....walking, fishing, biking, eating boiled shrimp, and looking for shells.We have never, while we were on the island, gone to the movies, played putt-putt, or gone to the water park. But always and every year, on the way home, the kids tell us that this year was THE BEST EVER!

The same goes for Christmas. It would stand to reason that the best Christmas would be the one Santa brought the five week old bassett hound puppy, or the year he brought their bikes, or even the year Santa came through with a computer, forcing us into recent time. We again, have the same traditions year after year. We go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve after eating our traditional New Orleans spicy shrimp with homemade french bread and ribeye steaks (when they were below "double-digits" we didn't have steak). We come home and they open a present, always christmas pajamas( Amanda still gets christmas p.j., Russey gets a game for his play station) so we all look good for pictures in the morning. On Christmas morning, I always get up before the rest (unlike my baby sister who seems to have trouble getting up before the kids) and start the coffee and put the breakfast cassarole in the oven. Santa, (oh yes, in this house Santa's contract is for life..not his but ours) always leaves his present to them unwrapped under the tree so that they see them first. We eat and drink while we open presents, then we get dressed and head for the grandparents house. Both grandparents were fit into the day when my in-laws were alive. There, at the grandparents, is another meal and present opening with aunts, uncles and cousins. It never seems to matter whether it is cold or warm, sunny or raining, whether they get a lot of presents or just a few, whether it is just want they want or what we like to term a "good intention", at the end of the day there has always been that familiar phase....this christmas was the BEST EVER!

Birthdays...some have been celebrated with a big party, some have been celebrated by taking them to the big city of Atlanta to shop and then have dinner, some are spent with just the family going out to eat, sometimes the grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins can join us and other times it is the four of us. There have been times with great gifts but like most families there have been birthdays when we couldn't spend much money but... it doesn't seem to matter...we are still blessed with that pleasing phase...this birthday has been the BEST EVER!

I have been continually writting about how I have been filled with joy to the brim of my soul in the here. That part of my life can be summed up with the children's phrase, this has been the BEST EVER! You know that I have struggled with the question of what will the after be like. As you also know, I have spent the last twenty plus years literally being their teacher but could it be, that at least in this, that God has chosen my children as the teachers!? Could it possibly be that their honest, pure, god-given, childlike enthusiaum and simple joy for anything and everything is an example to me on how I need to and will view the after!? It appears that my children have learned the lesson in James 1:2 that tells us to "consider it pure joy, my brothers.." and "you have filled my heart with greater joy..." Psalm 4:7a It appears that they understand the lesson of Nehemiah 8:10b, "..this day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

This mom needs to follow in the footsteps of her children, this mom needs an attitude change like the one the Lord bestowed on the King of Assyria, "For seven days they celebrated with joy the Feast of Unleaven Bread, because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the King of Assyria.." Ezra 6:22. My children have reminded me of the scripture in Psalms that reads, "You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 31:11-12. And so, with pure joy today I will say thank you my God and King and thank you my children for walking ahead of me to teach me. Thank you, that if we work on the lesson of joy, in the after, like my kids, I will be saying this has been THE BEST EVER!!!

Food for Thought

Just thought all of you might enjoy a little food for thought..

Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat,
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and though to herself:
I don't freaking think so!
(Remember I have nothing against men..this was
passed on to me by my big sis...thanks Ten-Ten!)

• GRACE gives without expecting a return.
• PRAYER is a place to meet God.

I read the following in a book once...John Wesley was given this by his mother when he went off to college:

When you judge the lawfulness of a pleasure, take this rule:
Whatever weakens your reason,
Impairs the tenderness of your conscience,
Obscures your sense of God,
Or takes away the relish of spiritual things;
Whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind...
That thing is SIN.

Project Maniacs

How many of you love projects?! I must admit I do. I have the ability to take the smallest job and somehow, somewhere, during the process, it steamrolls into an all -out major project. I come by it honestly though. My parents, my brother, my sisters...they are all project maniacs (I say this lovingly and respectfully guys). The difference between them and me is that they have yet to face their mania...they are still in the denial stage. I broke out of that stage sometime ago, but have not yet progressed to any other level of recovery.

Let me give you a little better picture of this monster. It starts with little things...my parents are going on a trip and because they are great parents and we are wonderful children (had to add that), we want to know where to find them during their month out of the country. Hence, comes the mini project...every mania starts small...they print out their full flight itinerary, then add all the telephone numbers of everyone they might be with. Then they decide to add to that the phone and cell numbers of us children including my sister's numbers in California and my brother's numbers in Alabama. While they are putting together the list they go ahead and add the grandchildren's cell numbers (you see how it has steamrolled into a project), because then we have a reference sheet for later use. Adding to that, and for our convenience, in case they need us to contact any one of their close friends, which is sometimes needed, they add their numbers also. Oh, I almost forgot, they also add the information on who is going to be picking them up from the airport (they usually fly out from Atlanta or Columbia). Please don't misunderstand, they are doing this for our benefit and we would not accept anything less and appreciate all the time and effort put into this but you see how I get it honestly...the simplest thing turns into a project for us!

My friend, Betty (Harley's mom), asked me this last spring if I could help with a project and help her make some cards for her youngest child's graduation. She wanted to give the whole class a handmade remembrance. Somewhere in the emptiness of what most people refer to as a brain, I was thinking that there were about ten posssibly twelve students (she goes to a small private school). I happily agreed and started on the preliminary concept. To make a long story short, we ended up making twenty-six, (there were a few more students than I had thought),YES, twenty-six covered tuna can graduation hats complete with confetti, candy, and gum inside the cans and a special scripture on ribbon that unfolded from the same said can. Also, no tuna can hats who be complete without a tassel on the top (you really have to see them to get the full picture). The list of necessary steps in making the hats was three pages long and they took us about two months to make. We put in about sixty dollars worth of material that luckily I already had. See, there again, a simple project steamrolled into project mania and poor Betty got sucked into the project abyss. I do wonder what happened to all those stately red and gold tuna can graduation hats. If anyone knows please contact the proper project authorities.

Ahhh, the stories I could tell ....my brother and his car and motorcycle projects, my sisters and their house and gardening projects, my mother and her boxes (hid under her bed in denial state) of projects...and the list goes on.
And again I confess that it comes quite honestly, as you can now see, but it comes in a teachable lesson for the here and after. What if I take some of that project mania that as been so well taught to me and put it to another very important project...the project of the living in the after. I can approach living in the after (the years of change ahead of me), with the same bulldog tenacity that I give to any of the other worthy projects that I have had over the years. I can look at the unknown ahead of me, which is so unnerving, as the blank paper in the sketch book where I am going to make my preliminary concept. As I open my sketch pad to a clean page I can proclaim this Psalm of David, saying, "Lord, my God , to you I lift my heart. In you I trust...Make your paths known to me, Lord, teach me your ways. Lead me by your faithfulness and teach me, for you are God my saviour; in you I put my hope all day long." Psalm 25:1-2a,4-5. With confidence that I DO trust God, (trusting isn't a problem, it is that sometimes we lose sight of that), and that he will lead me in His faithfulness, I can begin to draw the first lines of my project concept for life in the after. I am starting to feel those little stirring that come over me whenever I begin a new project. It is not quite excitment yet, but coming from the exceptional project maniac line that I do, I know it will not be long before, with my saviour beside me, I will have my bulldog teeth firmly planted in it. And we all know, from experience, that this will probably steamroll into something big and beautiful. Oh yes, project mania in the here and after!

mania/.denoting a special type of mental obesession or denoting extreme enthusiasm
maniac/.an obsessive enthusiast
*The above taken from "The Oxford Pocket American Dictionary"

From BIG to the quiet and gentle

I don't know about you but I have always loved things in life to be BIG! When I was a child I wanted the BIG present under the tree, when I went to school I wanted a BIG pencil box. As a teenager, when my boyfriend, later to be known as my BIG husband (6'3", 230 lbs), took me to Hardees for lunch I always ordered the BIG deluxe hamburger. And the trend continued...I had two BIG babies, one ten pounder and one eleven pounder ( I know this makes them kinda sound like Thanksgiving turkeys but I mean no disrepect they were both beautiful babies, just BIG) and drove a wonderful Big suburban. BIG seemed to be the way to go but not just with tangible items....even with experiences.

As a child, my family traveled alot, not just to places within the U.S. but all over the world.I was fortunate to see places and cultures that alot of people live their whole lives and do not get to experience. It wasn't just the places, it was the BIG way my parents delivered the experience. If you remember the academy award film entitled "Life is Beautiful", then you have a glimpse into life with mom and dad. It was not the amount of money they spent, I have been told we traveled on a shoestring, it was that the way they delivered the experience made you feel priveledged and like a BIG shot. I remember living on the island of Taiwan and my dad renting a touring bus and a guide to take my family, along with my great Aunt Ethel and Uncle George, to tour the island. The little oriental guide would let me stand at the front of the bus and use the microphone just like I was the guide. Boy, did I feel BIG and for a short time thought I might be discovered and become a star.

One of my favorite movies, I have it in the 35th anniversary, two DVD, gold set, is "The Ten Commandments" from the 1950's. I love that movie and can watch it over and over and over again. Everything in that movie is BIG, starting with the director Cecil B. DeMille, the star Charlton Heston and of course, one of the major scenes the parting of the Red Sea. You don't get much BIGGER than parting the Red Sea.

These things might play a part in why, in my christian life, I tend to look for BIG displays from God. I want in a BIG way to be obedient to my Father, good training by my parents, so I pray and I ask HIM to show me the way. But, I think that at times I tend to look for the burning bush, the man walking on water, the lame jumping up and dancing from the room. I want to hear my Lord in a BIG way so I can be sure I have heard him.

Today he spoke to me in a BIG way about hearing Him in a quiet voice. Isn't that ironic! Today in church we read, "The Lord told Elijah, 'go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." I Kings 19:10-12. That gentle whisper was the Lord speaking to Elijah.

Today, in a gentle voice the Lord has reminded me, that BIG is good and sometimes necessary but we can and will hear him the stillness of a moment, speaking to us in a quiet and gentle voice. It is of great comfort and joy to me to know that He is often found gently whispering in the quietness of a humble heart. This week I will put BIG to the side, though I might have to watch the "Ten Commandments", and sit quietly in your presence to hear your gentle whisper. Thank you once again dear Father, for giving me a glimpse into the journey from the here and after.

THANK YOU!

Today is not a day to ponder change or the here and after. Today is a day for thankfulness, not that you should be thankful just now and again, but some days I think we feel it more than others. Today I feel that joy that does not just bubble inside of you, but that overflows...you look at the most insignicant thing and it makes you giggle, you walk around the house by yourself and when you pass a mirror you see yourself smiling, every thought reminds you of how blessed you are, and your love for the Lord feels deep and strong. So, just like everyday I will express my thoughts to Him but today it will not be anything but deep and sincere thanks.

Lord. thank you for bringing my mom, dad, and sister back from Canada. Thank you for my parents who have given me an on earth image of you. When I look to my mom and dad and see the love, caring ,forgiveness , and christian example they extend to me, it helps me understand the depth and pureness of your love and forgiveness, of your caring, of your mercy and protection. Thank you for parents that know me so well and care about me so much. Thank you for giving me the blessing of having them bring me into this world. Thank you for parents that want me and love me in the same fashion that you want me and love me..unselfishly! You have given me the greatest in heaven and the greatest on earth . I will always give them my love, respect and admiration knowing how precious a gift they are from you. Thank you Father that we are back together again...they were terribly missed!

Thank you Father for my sisters. Their love for me, their understanding, and their friendship can never be replaced...no matter how far away they live or how far they travel or how busy they get. Thank you so much for giving me three sisters that love you and walk close to you and want to live out your perfect will. Thank you for giving me sisters that want me to be a part of my life. Sisters to laugh with, to cry with, to gab with, to shop with , to go to when you are up or down, to share this life together. Thank you for strenghening our love and committment to one another and being a part of each others daily lives. I could not do without them.

Thank you Lord for my husband, my mate for the here and the after and the forever. I will never doubt that he has been your perfect will for my life. His sense of responsibility, his humor, his caring, his protection, his loyalty and his unending love come straight from you.Thank yo for the great father he is and the wonderful husband he is. Thank you for laying in him the foundation that myself and my children needed. Thank you for pouring out your protection and your love and your guidance over him all these years. But most of all, thank you for planting the seed of humbleness in him so that you have been able to lead him and mold him into the righteous, godly man he is today.

Thank you Father for my children...the desires of my heart. Thank you for all the time we have had together. Thank you for where they have been and where they are going. Thank you for their love for you and in turn their love for their father and me. Thank you for their connection to their grandparents, their aunts, and their cousins. Thank you Lord for your continueous protection over them. Thank you for giving them hearts for the simple pleasures of life. Thank you for always providing us with Godly friends who love them too. Thank you for the special design you have for their lives, for all that they have before them to experience and in turn help them to grow in their love for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

And Jesus, thank you for this day, for yesterday, for tomorrow. Thank you for the here and after and that no matter what we will be together trying to make sense of it all. Thank you for being a God that understands my fragility but still is assured of my complete devotion. Thank you for big miracles, the gift of new life, but also know that I thank you for each day's gift of new life. Thank you that each day, cloudy or not, the sun comes streaming into my window, the precious honor to greet a new day. Thank you for your patience, your love, your forgiveness, your blessings to me. Thank you for never leaving me and always leading me down the road that brings me closer to you. Thank you for giving me the honor of knowing you as my God, my King, my Father, Jesus, and the Lord God Almighty, who does and will reign forever and ever.
AMEN!!!

My friend Betty and my nephew Harley

As I sat in my chair this morning, holding my bible but very distracted by the beautiful birds just outside my window, I wondered how many folks have been as lucky as me and have received a thank you card from a dog.
I have received a thank you card from a dog only once. A thank you card from a dog?! Yep, it had his paw print right on the card after "love you". I know you are anxious to hear the rest of the story. Soooo...it all started with a walk down the canal and a broken piece of glass...at least that was what was deduced.

My friend's son took the family dog, Harley, down the canal for a walk. During the walk, the dog (a beautiful, biggg, blonde lab) stepped on a piece of glass and cut his paw. By the time the son and dog got home the injury looked pretty daunting. My friend Betty ( a serious pet lover) surveyed the damage and decided to take the dog to her elderly country doctor. Rumor has it that he is a real saint. After a thorough examination, the instructions from the elderly doc were to stop by a store on the way home, purchase a tube of super glue, and apply it to the pad of Harley's paw. You see, Harley had sliced opened the pad on one of his paws (filleted it was the term Betty used).She was supposed to wash his paw, then apply the super glue, actually glueing the pad together.

Yes, there is more to the story....life is a real journey for Betty and I. Betty comes to my house on Thursdays and we spend most of the day together. It is our time and we really convet that. We do anything we want but it always includes a great meal and solving some world problem. Well, this Thursday, Betty decided to bring Harley out with her. She was worried about him and didn't want to leave him home alone. She needed to apply the glue several times and did not want him to lick or fuss over his paw. So, with my blessing, (I have a bassett hound so what is one more dog in my kitchen) she loaded up Harley, his toys, some dog bones, and the super glue and made the drive some thirty miles out to my home in the country.

Upon arriving at my home, we were anxious to start in on solving the dilemnas of the world but as responsible parents, I mean dog owners, we made the decision to tend to Harley first. Betty got out the super glue and sat down on the floor, not an easy task with a lovable lab and spoiled bassett hound trying to lick you and sit in your lap. After gaining control of Harley's paw, she instructed me to open the super glue and hand it to her. Try as I might, I couldn't get the top off that aggravating tube. Of course, I was toooo vain to put on my reading glasses and it didn't occur to Betty either (well, that's her excuse). After much effort, telling the tube how stupid it was, and a short discussion on how manufacturers should let us design their tops for them, we decided it best to take a sharp knife and cut the top off. "Just slice the top right off", I remember saying. So, that was exactly what I did. Then I handed the tube to Betty, still sitting on the floor, holding Harley's paw. We both knew we were in business now. Well, not exactly! After much squeezing, muttering, and squirming (Harley not Betty), we still were not getting any glue to come out. I took back control and of the blasted tube and discovered it had a ball down inside that let only a little glue out when you applied pressure. The pressure thing was certainly not an options since we would have to apply pressure to the filleted paw. So, out came the knife again. I sawed more of the top off, but wasn't paying close attention. Within, seconds my fingers were stuck to the tube! As I ran over to Betty (she pryed the tube off my fingers), we knew to work quickly. But, we weren't quick enough. As Betty was glueing the paw she was also glueing all her fingers together. Boy, Lucy and Ethel...get it together! Then the "tickle bug" got us. We were laughing so hard but I was able to aid her and force her fingers apart. She got up and started to wash her hands (that stuff really sticks), and I did the first smart thing of the day...went and got my reading glasses. I then discovered the instructions on the package that had clearly stated to remove the top just line up the arrows. Line up the arrows...neither one of us saw any arrows. It also gave the pressure instructions which we would have known so we would not have gone there had we had our glasses. But, then again, if we had read all the instructions we would not have the memory we have today. It still causes me to giggle.

Betty and I are great friends and have been for about twenty years. Alot has happened to us during those years and we have had each other to share them with, good or bad. I love Betty, her humility, her compassion, her loyality, her sense of humor, and her like thinking. We really have FUN together and we laugh alot. We say we do things the "old school" way, our children say the "old fashioned way". That is why several days later when a card arrived in the mail I knew it was from Betty. That is one of her many gifts, she is faithful always to send a thank you note. Not just for big things but even and always for all the small things in life. She is a very grateful person. To my surprise there was not only a thank you from Betty for the lunch and allowing her to bring Harley, but a cute card from Harley. The card thanked me for letting him visit with Olivia (my dog), and thanked me for helping Betty take care of him. After writing the note, Betty painted one of his paws and stamped it on the card with "I love you". The card reallly made me laugh and we have now decided that Harley is nephew status and Olivia is niece status, since we have been through so much. Harley has made several more visits out here to the country but none as memorable as the day we tried to doctor him.

Thank you Betty for being such a good friend and filling me up with so many good memories, thank you God for putting her in my life all those years ago and giving her a heart to stay with me in the here. I pray dear Father, that along with my family, that Betty will be going down this journey ,where ever it takes us ,with me in the after.